Untethered and Stepping Into a New Season

Untethered is a product of my life drastically changing as a result of a new season. Hi, I’m Raychel! Last year about this time (Jan 2022), my husband, Shaun, and I along with the rest of our family embarked on what we thought would be a new adventure in a new season of calling. It was all of that and then some! The “and then some” is the primary reason I’m sitting here typing this.

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Our Family’s Background and Ministry Life in Texas

A little historical context… Shaun and I have been married for 22 years and have 3 amazing kids which I homeschooled, and we have some amazing bonus kids too. He had lived in the same precious town his entire life. I was born on an Air Force base and moved around A LOT until my dad retired, he and my mother got a divorce, and my life sort of went a little haywire but I did manage to go to all 4 years of high school in the same school! By that time, I had lived in Texas for 6 consecutive years. I had, to that point, lived a life untethered to any place and any person except my mother because, up to that point, even though I was incredibly close to my dad, and had a hero-level big brother, she was the only constant in my life… until Shaun. We met a month before I graduated high school.

He was already working for Nucor and when we met, he claims he “knew” immediately that he was going to marry me! He was right, because 5 months later we said, “I do”! We settled into the town he grew up in and 2 years later welcomed the first of 2 smart, handsome boys almost 5 years apart with a firecracker of a gorgeous warrior princess in between them! As marriages do, we had some major ups and major downs but turned to the Lord through all of it and He began to guide us into a season of service that would so deeply connect us to our community, church family, and youth that when He moved us into the new season we are currently experiencing, I felt as though a part of me had been ripped from my body and as a God trusting, Bible reading, praying Christian, I went through one of the deepest depressions of my life.

Becoming untethered can feel positive and negative, sometimes both at the same time.

Answering God’s Call to Go

Instead of giving you our entire ministry history, suffice it to say that God used some amazing people to disciple and grow us as we followed Him and eventually led us to a staff position serving in student ministry. May of 2021 was a milestone in ministry as the first group of students that we had the privilege of influencing for all four years of high school graduated, to include our oldest son. We just thought we grieved then! Up until that point we had been equippers and senders, and only goers short term. In January of 2022 that changed, and the call to “go” was heard and accepted. Resigning from youth and stepping away from those families we had grown so attached to was gut-wrenching.

Our oldest was nearly through with his associate’s degree with Liberty University and decided to start work at Nucor, following in Shaun’s footsteps. This meant we had to leave him behind. The family of five who stayed together pretty much 24/7 except for the hours that Shaun was at work, was now missing an entire member.

Adventure was on the horizon as we were doing an interim stint in Indiana and were traveling ahead of an incoming snowstorm! That was probably the only thing that kept me and the kids from crying the entire drive as Shaun had gone up the week before us. We’ve only seen that much snow one other time in our lives when some friends, who we consider family, invited us to their home in New Mexico with them on vacation, but snow melts…

When the Excitement Melts Away

As the snow melted, so did our excitement of the new adventure and we found ourselves in another charming little town, but knowing no one, not knowing how to get anywhere without Google Maps, feeling unknown, unseen, grieving the loss of all things and people familiar, especially our son—being very untethered.

No one really warned me about the minor irritations of just not knowing how to get places, not being able to find the same foods, visit the same chain restaurants. I learned what a comfort familiarity had been and how much I hadn’t recognized or appreciated it before.

Six months later, after an intense interview process, Shaun was offered and accepted an operations manager position in Virginia. More unfamiliar. More unknown. No snow in Southern Virginia to speak of, but we are an hour from the beach and smack dab in the middle of some amazing history! That’s still not enough excitement to overcome some of the toughest mental battles yet.

Losing Identity and Finding God’s Purpose

In Texas, our entire family was serving in our local church body together. Shaun and I served our community on the board of directors of the Chamber of Commerce (2021 was my favorite town Christmas celebration if I do say so myself). I owned and operated a gun shop and training center as a certified instructor. We had cultivated a reputation and credibility from years of service and doing life together with our community. We were known.

Moving to Virginia, Shaun’s reputation preceded him to a degree because he is still with Nucor; mine did not. I entered into a tailspin of lost identity and lost purpose. I could plainly see how God had enlarged Shaun’s sphere of influence and how he was being used, but I could not see the same thing for me.

Virginia is much more restrictive than Texas in a lot of areas that I had previously operated in, and I just felt so untethered—less like a hot air balloon that does have some control over how high it goes and for how long and more like a helium-filled balloon whose string had slipped from a child’s grasp on a windy day.

The Physical Toll of an Untethered Life

The stresses of all of it, not to mention securing a safe place to live that we could at least bring some of our animals to, I had allowed to have detrimental effects to my body. Cortisol, the stress hormone and not having any regular exercise does not do a body or mind good! Starting over is hard, more so when your hubs doesn’t have to start over as much as you do and if not held in check can lead to resentment.

Learning Through the Hard Seasons

After I graduated from seminary, I knew I didn’t know all the stuff. I couldn’t believe they were letting me walk across the stage with a Master’s degree! It was the same way when we finished our “Counseling By the Book” Biblical counseling certificate program.

In fact, prior to this season, Shaun and I had done quite a bit of counseling, and this season taught me as much—if not more—in some areas as all of our classes did. I can truly empathize with people I couldn’t have in areas I could not have before.

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Wrestling with the Desire for Heaven

I can’t tell you how many tears I’ve shed through this season, how much I wished for death. There’s a difference between being suicidal and understanding Paul’s words in Philippians 1:21: “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”

Life isn’t always sunshine and sparkles, and neither is living out your calling—just look at the disciples! But “heaven will surely be worth it all!” Longing for Heaven because your mind can’t even comprehend how amazing it will be, especially in contrast to this broken world, is not the same as being suicidal.

But, choosing not to do basic everyday skills—like shower, clean up after yourself, move your body, soak up sunshine, read The Word, eat real food, engage in your home and with the people around you—those things are not okay, or healthy. I went through that phase too.

Choosing Trust Over Comfort

While I sit and reflect, I’m not 100% certain what my new grand purpose is in this season. But I trust God. I know I am His, and I know that He is all good. As long as I trust Him and acknowledge Him, He will direct my path.

I know that doesn’t look like the landing crew that guides planes into the airport jetbridge, but I have His Word and I know ultimately I’m supposed to love Him and love others—so I have an outline of things I can do every day!

If I’m writing my daily lessons or musings and it helps one person to feel seen, heard, and keep going, then that’s plenty. I do miss our family and friends in Texas, and Texas itself, but I’m not sorry that I’ve gone through this. I’m already seeing how it has grown me and those around me, and specifically how it has grown my faith.

That’s reason and purpose enough for God to send us. Anything that draws you closer to Him—even if it hurts and is hard—is worth it and purpose enough. By becoming untethered, I find myself completely tethered to Him alone.

💬 Let’s keep the conversation going…
Have you ever felt God untether you from something familiar? I’d love to hear your story. Share your thoughts in the comments or send me a message — I read every one. And if you want encouragement like this sent straight to your inbox, subscribe so you don’t miss a post.