Several years ago, my husband discovered Inky Johnson’s testimony, and it was so powerful that we ended up showing it to our youth at the time. We quote so many things from Inky but one of the things that has been especially moving to me has been his view on commitment. He quoted Orebela Gbenga’s definition which says, “Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you.” That’s so powerful, and it’s so true. I mean just think about your exercise schedule. I’ll be honest and say the me who makes the exercise plan in the evening is not the same me who wakes up to execute it the next morning. I’m “feeling” it at 9 in the evening, but when that next day comes, I find that I’m not nearly as loyal to those plans!
When seasons of your life change, it can be the same with your faith, or in the interest of full transparency, it is with mine. I’m not the biggest fan of major change I have discovered. As God transitioned us from the last season to this season, part of me was excited for new adventures, but another part was anxious and not crazy about that being permanent or all little things that would change in big ways as a result. I remember one of Shaun’s teammates asking me, “are you ready for this?” and my response being, “I don’t always agree with God, but I do always have to be obedient to Him.”
We had bathed this decision in prayer and while we knew it was going to be a difficult one, we also genuinely believed it was what God was affirming we should do. Shaun more than me because that meant leaving a child (granted he was nearly 20 but still) behind. Shaun was positive and I wasn’t sure, but as the spiritual head of our household, I trust Shaun and we submit to God together. And…. so we took that step of faith. In a lot of ways, it was exciting, and we’ve gotten to experience some really awesome things, but there have also been some really tough, really not so good very bad days and more tears than I could count. It’s those days that test your commitment to being obedient.
Sometimes you just have to choo choo on and let obedience be the engine and your feelings be the caboose. There’s some days I just don’t “feel” it, maybe because its difficult, maybe because it hurts, maybe because I’m tired, maybe because I’m lazy, but I still must respond to those days with the same level of commitment I “feel” on the good days when things are going swimmingly. I’ve experienced more than one day that I just wanted things to go back to the comfort and familiarity of the way they were, but I press on towards the goal and God gives me little affirmations (which I totally don’t deserve, and He doesn’t have to provide) along the way. Paul wrote in 1Corinthians Chapter 9:24-27 about self-discipline and running your race so as to obtain the prize.
I don’t know about ya’ll, but if I just hop up from this computer and go out to run a race I really hope the EMT’s are close! I have so much respect for runners and the way they train and are so self-disciplined so that they are able to run long distances. I’m sure they don’t always “feel” it, but they run anyway. This is the same with our obedience to Christ, it takes being self-disciplined on the days we don’t “feel” it to build a track record of obedience. Sometimes it takes becoming untethered to your feelings and tethered to that commitment you made to Christ to be obedient, and like Paul says, sometimes you have to beat your body into submission!
One of the coolest things I’ve personally gotten to see this past year was Niagra Falls. We spent several days there exploring both the Canadian side and the American side. No matter where you stand, the roar of that much water is unmistakable, powerful, and demands respect. In fact, we stayed in a hotel on the American side near the Falls and once I had seen the falls the first day, I knew the roar I was hearing at night while sleeping in the hotel was the falls. I’ll never forget that sound or that sight!
While studying Revelation, before Nancy Guthrie even mentioned it, when John described Jesus’ voice in verse 1:15, I was already thinking, unmistakable, powerful, worthy of awe and respect like Niagra Falls! In John 10:27 Jesus says his sheep know His voice, I thought about how that compared to me not knowing what the sound was the night before, and then having an encounter with Niagra Falls the next day and knowing exactly what that sound was the next night. It’s the same with Jesus.
This study of Revelation has been so wild for me. I have to admit that I approached Revelation with some definite presuppositions about what I thought it said. When I challenged myself to lay those aside and study it with these ladies anew, I’m finding so much comfort and peace….in apocalyptic literature! That sounds oxymoronic, but it’s true!
I had, and you may too, some presuppositions about Jesus. We’ve seen how the Old Testament points to a coming King, and we’ve seen the prophets prophesy about Him, we’ve seen Him come to Earth as a baby and seen his earthly ministry. We saw a humble servant, the Jews struggled with that, and I often allow my mind to picture him as a meek, suffering servant. The resurrected Jesus is that and so much more, and we need to allow that to shape how we think about Him.
There’s so much to the description of Jesus in Rev 1:12-18 that bears dwelling upon. The first thing that struck me after the sound of his voice, was his garments. One of my most favorite things about the Bible is its internal consistency, how from Genesis to Revelation there’s one giant metanarrative and more threads than one that connect into a rich, firm, theological tapestry. In Exodus there’s an exhaustive explanation of priestly garments that are to be made for the priests and High priest, who makes sacrifices in the Holy of Holies. We know that Jesus is our High Preist and that he gave His life as the final atoning sacrifice (Hebrews 4:14 and chapter 10). So when we see John describe Jesus’ garments, the high priestly garments, puzzle pieces just click into place! The sash doesn’t just indicate a High Priest, but the King! The hair of his head being white as snow is one and the same as Daniel’s description of the Ancient of Days in chapter 7. This is starting to build a picture of Jesus as he is now, as not only Savior, but King and just like one of those “as seen only on TV” commercials, BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE…. and you don’t even have to pay the extra shipping! John continues a description of Jesus that is worth dwelling on some more and adding to your mental model, but his reaction is the real kicker for me!
Remember back in John’s gospel in 13:23 when John is casually reclining(chillin) next to Jesus. They were close friends, John KNEW Jesus and felt comfortable with him, the Bible described John as the disciple whom Jesus loved, yet John’s response to seeing the resurrected King? He fell on his face as if he were dead and Jesus reached out and laid his right hand upon John and said,
“……Do not be afraid; I am the first and the last, and behold, I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of death and of Hades.”
Jesus- Revelation 1:17-18
Bruh! Can you imagine!? John sees something different about Jesus and so should we! What a comfort for Jesus to lovingly reach out and touch John, and then to speak and say so much in so few words! An I AM statement affirming He is God, but to say I was dead, I took possession of the keys of death and hades, and I am alive forever more controlling the when, and the who of death, hades and Heaven. I’ve counseled kids and adults alike after they’ve lost someone, sometimes not in their old age but suddenly and unexpectedly. Often the concern in our despair is, was it too soon? We know it wasn’t, because whoever has the keys opens the door and He’s never surprised by the timing even if we are. No loved one has ever gone too early or somewhere they weren’t supposed to because Jesus himself is there opening doors and giving access. That is an incredible comfort to me as I’m sure it was to John who, at that time, was exiled on the island of Patmos, presumably to die, but Jesus said only when I open the door! What a comfort to those in Christ! I find so much comfort in untethering myself from my presuppositions and tethering myself to the truth of God’s Word and our Savior and King, Jesus Christ.
I experience major trepidation when encountering things I know little about or things I am unfamiliar with. See my previous blog which mentions my irritation of driving in an unfamiliar town after moving. I get major anxiety sometimes, and sometimes, when possible, I try to avoid the situation all together. Often when I’m invited to a new restaurant, I will look up the menu ahead of time so I can prepare myself to order before I ever set foot in the restaurant. Sometimes I know whatever it is, it is necessary to muster up the courage and just get through it even if I bumble through it. I’ve talked to plenty of other women who have experienced the same or similar things.
Having been a firearms instructor for 10 years and owned my own gun shop and training center, I have had tons of clients who have come in with a major fear of firearms, so much so that they have avoided them at all costs. I have had the opportunity to educate so many people by teaching them proper nomenclature, parts of a firearm and their functions, as well as how to safely operate those firearms. Usually, there’s this beautiful moment in a class or private lesson where I can almost see the weight and tension slide off client because they finally understand how the firearm works and why and how to safely use it. Thier trepidation had little to do with the actual firearm and more to do with a fear of the unknown and possibly hurting themselves or someone else in their ignorance.
I recently experienced this in my own life, with a book of all things! I mentioned I had been to seminary and when I walked across that stage and received my Masters, one of the things that I had learned was that I didn’t know ALL the things! One such thing I felt incredibly underconfident in teaching or understanding any more than the basic facts about was the book of Revelation. So, like any reasonable person would do, I avoided it! I mean there’s 65 other books in the Bible that I feel a whole lot more comfortable with, this ONE book isn’t THAT crucial right?! Except I say the entire Bible is the divinely inspired, inerrant, Word of God which has absolute authority….and I believe that…..so it’s super important to not leave any part of it out!
Prior to the Nancy Guthrie study, Blessed, which I mentioned in the “Loved” blog post, when I heard the word Revelation as referring to the book of the Bible, I instantly thought “apocalypse”. I could hear that bell hop from the Disney show, “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody” say, “Ahhhhhhhhhhh! This is a disaster,” in his thick Spanish accent. But God, two of my favorite words in the Bible, placed people in my life who encouraged me and were willing to sit down with me and take another look, and I’m so grateful. Now when I think of the book of Revelation, I rightly think “reveal”. Revelation is just a continuation of the other 65 books which reveals the person and work of Jesus Christ to us. It reveals how and who Jesus is now, prior to His second coming and gives us such comfort and relief, and as someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, I’m definitely wanting to untether myself from fear which causes my anxiety and tether myself to knowledge, especially through the revelation of Jesus Christ. It’s a no brainer now that I’m sitting here typing trying to articulate it, but if you know how anxiety works, you know it feels overwhelming at the time.
Don’t miss out on things just because you have a fear of the unknown, untether yourself from fear-based actions and tether yourself to study and education, and especially to the Word of God which is truly sufficient for all things. If you have trepidation over Revelation too, maybe sitting down with a copy of “Blessed” will help you untether yourself from the confusion and tether yourself more tightly to Jesus, our Savior and King.
That’s something I think everyone wants to feel, like they are seen by someone else and have value, those three statements were made from a place of deep love for the development of someone they cared so deeply about. Nothing had been done to earn that “special treatment”, it was freely given, often is the case between a parent and an infant. Often, or in my experience, as we get older, and society begins to warp our thinking and sometimes the way we love others we fall into the trap of performance-based love.
I remember as a girl feeling like my parents loved me more if I made straight A’s or sat 1st chair in whichever band I was in. I’m sure that wasn’t really true as I have 3 kids of my own and love them whether they do amazing things or perfectly regular things or even bad things. I don’t love the bad things but I do love them. no matter what. I repeat the phrase, “there’s nothing you could ever do or say to make me not love you,” regularly.
We don’t always feel that way though, especially since the inventions of social media. We are in a terrible habit of feeling worthy and lovable when other people tell us we are through our likes and engagements on social platforms and external validation is what begins to shape what we believe about ourselves. This unfortunately effects our ability to receive feedback that could help us grow because rather than responding to it with an eagerness to learn and grow we perceive it as rejection and an attack that makes us feel unaccepted and unloved. I have definitely been guilty of this, and still am from time to time. Unfortunately, I have allowed myself to be affected so much by this external validation, and performance-based love that I have often had thoughts about why anyone would or does love me.
Recently, I was invited to join a virtual Bible study by a friend. First, just the act of being invited is such a loving, thoughtful thing, so thanks for that, friend, I will be sure to do the same for others! We are studying a Nancy Guthrie book called, “Blessed” over the book of Revelation in the Bible. As I worked diligently through the 1st set of lesson questions I was loving the style and structure which caused us to focus on the one giant metanarrative of the entire Bible which is God’s great love for us culminating in the gospel message of Jesus’ birth, death, burial, and resurrection. It all points to Jesus.
We were looking specifically at Revelation 1 verses 5-7 and discussing what it reveals to us about Jesus, about who he is, what he has done, and what he’s going to do.
“and from Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth. To Him who loves us and released us from our sis by His blood.”
The very next question instructed us to dwell upon one or two aspects of the previous question that were particularly meaningful to us. In full transparency and vulnerability, I wrote, “loved-because often enough I don’t “feel” like I’m worth loving or understand why anyone would love me.” Second, I wrote, ” released- words cannot describe how it feels to have Jesus take all your ugly/evil and pay the ultimate price of death for it without you doing a thing to earn it or deserve it and then still be able, but more than that willing and wanting, to look you in the eye knowing everything about you and still love you and want a relationship with you.” I couldn’t even type that without tearing up all over again. Jesus, my Savior and King of Kings, loves me that much and knows everything about me. This is true for you too.
Truthfully, I’m not sure my life would be at all the same or even be still happening if it wasn’t for someone being willing to share about Jesus and His great love for me and then a lot of someones discipling me so that I truly know that the ultimate authority on all things is God and the Word of God. What His word says is true regardless of what is going on in the world, and regardless of how I “feel”. When I read what His word says about me, since I am in Christ, because I value it as the ultimate authority, regardless of how I feel, I find I can face tomorrow. (If you know me personally you know that just made me think of a song!) In Christ all that ugly/evil that I know about myself is no longer condemning because His word tells me that’s true,
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Don’t forget to go back and read what the “therefore” is there for, the previous chapter talks about believers being united to Christ and then proceeds into the result being deliverance from bondage to sin. Isn’t that so comforting? Comfort is the opposite of what I feel when I listen to the lies of the devil who seeks to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10). Unfortunately, he’s able to steal my joy and comfort with thoughts from inside my own head sometimes. It’s why Paul warned us to take every thought captive and conform it to the will of Christ in 2Corinthians 10:5 and told us to focus on whatever is true, pure, lovely, and holy in Philippians 4:8. I have to untether myself from the thoughts and opinions of others, and sometimes from my own thoughts and opinions of myself, and tether myself to what God’s word says about me in Christ. This may be true for you too. Even when I don’t “feel” it, “I will praise Him because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14. I hope this draws you to God and His word and gives you the courage to live a life untethered to the lies of the world, the flesh, and the devil, and tethered to Jesus. Definitely reach out if you have questions!
*Disclaimer-if I mentioned a book or movie I linked it to Amazon for purchase should you want to which I could earn a commission from!
Untethered is a product of my life drastically changing as a result of a new season. Hi, I’m Raychel! Last year about this time (Jan 2022), my husband, Shaun, and I along with the rest of our family embarked on what we thought would be a new adventure in a new season of calling. It was all of that and then some! The “and then some” is the primary reason I’m sitting here typing this.
Our Family’s Background and Ministry Life in Texas
A little historical context… Shaun and I have been married for 22 years and have 3 amazing kids which I homeschooled, and we have some amazing bonus kids too. He had lived in the same precious town his entire life. I was born on an Air Force base and moved around A LOT until my dad retired, he and my mother got a divorce, and my life sort of went a little haywire but I did manage to go to all 4 years of high school in the same school! By that time, I had lived in Texas for 6 consecutive years. I had, to that point, lived a life untethered to any place and any person except my mother because, up to that point, even though I was incredibly close to my dad, and had a hero-level big brother, she was the only constant in my life… until Shaun. We met a month before I graduated high school.
He was already working for Nucor and when we met, he claims he “knew” immediately that he was going to marry me! He was right, because 5 months later we said, “I do”! We settled into the town he grew up in and 2 years later welcomed the first of 2 smart, handsome boys almost 5 years apart with a firecracker of a gorgeous warrior princess in between them! As marriages do, we had some major ups and major downs but turned to the Lord through all of it and He began to guide us into a season of service that would so deeply connect us to our community, church family, and youth that when He moved us into the new season we are currently experiencing, I felt as though a part of me had been ripped from my body and as a God trusting, Bible reading, praying Christian, I went through one of the deepest depressions of my life.
Becoming untethered can feel positive and negative, sometimes both at the same time.
Our family in Texas right after the Virginia move where God called us into a new season — rooted in love, ready for wherever He leads.
Answering God’s Call to Go
Instead of giving you our entire ministry history, suffice it to say that God used some amazing people to disciple and grow us as we followed Him and eventually led us to a staff position serving in student ministry. May of 2021 was a milestone in ministry as the first group of students that we had the privilege of influencing for all four years of high school graduated, to include our oldest son. We just thought we grieved then! Up until that point we had been equippers and senders, and only goers short term. In January of 2022 that changed, and the call to “go” was heard and accepted. Resigning from youth and stepping away from those families we had grown so attached to was gut-wrenching.
Our oldest was nearly through with his associate’s degree with Liberty University and decided to start work at Nucor, following in Shaun’s footsteps. This meant we had to leave him behind. The family of five who stayed together pretty much 24/7 except for the hours that Shaun was at work, was now missing an entire member.
Adventure was on the horizon as we were doing an interim stint in Indiana and were traveling ahead of an incoming snowstorm! That was probably the only thing that kept me and the kids from crying the entire drive as Shaun had gone up the week before us. We’ve only seen that much snow one other time in our lives when some friends, who we consider family, invited us to their home in New Mexico with them on vacation, but snow melts…
As the snow melted, so did our excitement of the new adventure and we found ourselves in another charming little town, but knowing no one, not knowing how to get anywhere without Google Maps, feeling unknown, unseen, grieving the loss of all things and people familiar, especially our son—being very untethered.
No one really warned me about the minor irritations of just not knowing how to get places, not being able to find the same foods, visit the same chain restaurants. I learned what a comfort familiarity had been and how much I hadn’t recognized or appreciated it before.
Six months later, after an intense interview process, Shaun was offered and accepted an operations manager position in Virginia. More unfamiliar. More unknown. No snow in Southern Virginia to speak of, but we are an hour from the beach and smack dab in the middle of some amazing history! That’s still not enough excitement to overcome some of the toughest mental battles yet.
Losing Identity and Finding God’s Purpose
In Texas, our entire family was serving in our local church body together. Shaun and I served our community on the board of directors of the Chamber of Commerce (2021 was my favorite town Christmas celebration if I do say so myself). I owned and operated a gun shop and training center as a certified instructor. We had cultivated a reputation and credibility from years of service and doing life together with our community. We were known.
Moving to Virginia, Shaun’s reputation preceded him to a degree because he is still with Nucor; mine did not. I entered into a tailspin of lost identity and lost purpose. I could plainly see how God had enlarged Shaun’s sphere of influence and how he was being used, but I could not see the same thing for me.
Virginia is much more restrictive than Texas in a lot of areas that I had previously operated in, and I just felt so untethered—less like a hot air balloon that does have some control over how high it goes and for how long and more like a helium-filled balloon whose string had slipped from a child’s grasp on a windy day.
The Physical Toll of an Untethered Life
The stresses of all of it, not to mention securing a safe place to live that we could at least bring some of our animals to, I had allowed to have detrimental effects to my body. Cortisol, the stress hormone and not having any regular exercise does not do a body or mind good! Starting over is hard, more so when your hubs doesn’t have to start over as much as you do and if not held in check can lead to resentment.
After I graduated from seminary, I knew I didn’t know all the stuff. I couldn’t believe they were letting me walk across the stage with a Master’s degree! It was the same way when we finished our “Counseling By the Book” Biblical counseling certificate program.
In fact, prior to this season, Shaun and I had done quite a bit of counseling, and this season taught me as much—if not more—in some areas as all of our classes did. I can truly empathize with people I couldn’t have in areas I could not have before.
Wrestling with the Desire for Heaven
I can’t tell you how many tears I’ve shed through this season, how much I wished for death. There’s a difference between being suicidal and understanding Paul’s words in Philippians 1:21: “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
Life isn’t always sunshine and sparkles, and neither is living out your calling—just look at the disciples! But “heaven will surely be worth it all!” Longing for Heaven because your mind can’t even comprehend how amazing it will be, especially in contrast to this broken world, is not the same as being suicidal.
But, choosing not to do basic everyday skills—like shower, clean up after yourself, move your body, soak up sunshine, read The Word, eat real food, engage in your home and with the people around you—those things are not okay, or healthy. I went through that phase too.
Choosing Trust Over Comfort
While I sit and reflect, I’m not 100% certain what my new grand purpose is in this season. But I trust God. I know I am His, and I know that He is all good. As long as I trust Him and acknowledge Him, He will direct my path.
I know that doesn’t look like the landing crew that guides planes into the airport jetbridge, but I have His Word and I know ultimately I’m supposed to love Him and love others—so I have an outline of things I can do every day!
If I’m writing my daily lessons or musings and it helps one person to feel seen, heard, and keep going, then that’s plenty. I do miss our family and friends in Texas, and Texas itself, but I’m not sorry that I’ve gone through this. I’m already seeing how it has grown me and those around me, and specifically how it has grown my faith.
That’s reason and purpose enough for God to send us. Anything that draws you closer to Him—even if it hurts and is hard—is worth it and purpose enough. By becoming untethered, I find myself completely tethered to Him alone.
💬 Let’s keep the conversation going… Have you ever felt God untether you from something familiar? I’d love to hear your story. Share your thoughts in the comments or send me a message — I read every one. And if you want encouragement like this sent straight to your inbox, subscribe so you don’t miss a post.
Raychel Writes 