Proverbs Chapter 6 — Fleshing it out for My Understanding
Working through Proverbs 6 today, and I’m seeing more clearly that this is still a father speaking to his son — the kind of letter you’d hope every young man would read before he signs a loan, chooses his habits, or guards his heart.
The opening verses about becoming surety for your neighbor (6:1–5) felt confusing to me at first. I wondered if it meant, “Don’t sleep until the debt is paid.” But I think the deeper point is this:
God cares about stewardship. If I promise what I cannot reasonably cover, I may lose the very household the Lord told me to protect. Jesus taught the same spirit when He said to count the cost before you build (Luke 14:28). My kindness must never outrun wisdom.
Then the chapter points to the ant (6:6–11). That little creature preaches louder than any motivational speaker. The warning isn’t just “don’t be lazy”; it’s that sloth steals from the future God prepared for me.
Work was God’s idea first — Adam tended the garden before sin ever entered (Genesis 2:15). Paul echoes it plainly: “If a man will not work, neither shall he eat” (2 Thessalonians 3:10).
I also notice how God describes the worthless man (6:12–15) and the seven things He hates (6:16–19):
haughty eyes, lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet quick to run to evil, false witness, and — the climax — one who sows discord among brothers.
And can we just pause and laugh a second? 😂
The internet today yells “6-7!” like it means absolutely nothing, but God used those numbers first. He was the original 6-7 referencer — and He used it to talk about what He despises. That’s a little comical and ironic, and honestly it made me smile at the kitchen table this morning.
The longest section returns to faithfulness in marriage (6:20–35). Culture may joke about pop lists, but God used marriage language before anyone else. Lust toward another person is painted as a trap — darker than theft. A thief can repay, but an adulterer destroys his own soul.
Jesus intensifies this truth in Matthew 5:27–28 — sin begins in the heart before it ever shows in the hands.
There’s a thread connecting all of it:
boundaries in money, diligence in work, truth in speech, and purity in marriage all protect the same sacred thing — the household and the covenant people of God.
I don’t want to be a burden on my community; I want my diligence to bless it. That idea is biblical too — 1 Timothy 5:8 calls us to provide for our own, and Galatians 6:5 reminds each of us to carry our own load so we can freely help bear another’s when real need comes.
Takeaways in My Heart
Gazelles escape snares → so should I when promises are foolish. Ants plan quietly → faithfulness needs no platform. God hates discord most → unity is sacred. Marriage mirrors covenant → lust is spiritual rebellion.
Lord, help me heed the teaching You gave us and not fall into the trap of sin and evil. Here I am, Lord — teach even my habits to walk upright.
It does not soften the reality of temptation, nor does it pretend that sin appears ugly on the front end. Instead, Scripture names what we all know to be true but often resist admitting: what is forbidden can be alluring, persuasive, and sweet for a moment. The danger is not that temptation lies to us—but that we listen.
This chapter is a father’s warning to a son, and it is plainly about adultery. The language is not symbolic at first glance. It is direct, practical, and grounded in real-life consequences. The adulterous woman is described as smooth-talking and desirable, but the end of that path is bitterness, loss, and regret. Wisdom is not abstract here; it is painfully concrete.
One of the most striking elements of Proverbs 5 is that regret is given a voice. After the damage is done, the speaker looks back and mourns not just the sin itself, but the refusal to listen when instruction was available. “I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof.” The tragedy is not ignorance—it is rejection of wisdom that was already offered.
What stands out to me is that Scripture does not condemn desire. In fact, Proverbs 5 does the opposite. It celebrates desire rightly ordered. Faithfulness within marriage is described as joyful, intoxicating, and life-giving. The problem is not passion—it is passion detached from covenant. God’s wisdom does not call us away from love or intimacy, but toward a love that is protected, exclusive, and enduring.
Marriage is treated with such gravity here because it is not merely emotional or contractual—it is covenantal. To violate that covenant is to invite destruction, not because God is withholding joy, but because He is guarding it.
Later in Scripture, we will see this covenant language deepen. The marriage relationship becomes a picture used by God to describe His faithfulness to His people and His people’s faithfulness—or unfaithfulness—to Him. Israel’s idolatry is called adultery. The Church is described as the Bride of Christ. But it is important to recognize that Proverbs 5 is not making that theological argument explicitly yet. This is wisdom literature dealing first with obedience in daily life.
Still, the echo is there. Human covenant faithfulness matters because it reflects something greater. The way we treat covenant—with God and with one another—reveals what we believe about trust, loyalty, and love. Faithlessness in marriage and faithlessness in worship are not identical, but they grow from the same root: a refusal to trust God’s design over our own desires.
Proverbs 5 ultimately teaches us that sin promises freedom but delivers regret. Wisdom, on the other hand, may feel restrictive in the moment, but it preserves life, joy, and peace. God’s warnings are not threats; they are acts of mercy. He speaks before the fall, not after, because He loves us.
The question this chapter presses on my heart is not simply, “Will I avoid obvious sin?” but rather, “Will I listen while instruction is still being offered?” Regret speaks loudly in Proverbs 5—but wisdom was speaking first.
Obedience now is a kindness to our future selves. And correction, though uncomfortable, is one of the clearest signs of God’s love.
Proverbs 4 does not stand alone; it is a continuation of the invitation begun in Proverbs 3. If Proverbs 3:5–6 establishes the heart posture—trusting the Lord with all your heart, leaning not on your own understanding, submitting to Him—then Proverbs 4 shows us what that posture looks like lived out with our feet on the ground.
The wisdom of Proverbs 4 is not abstract. It is directional.
“Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.” (Proverbs 4:25)
This is not a call to self-focus or personal determination. It is a call to fixed attention—eyes no longer darting between competing voices, desires, or fears. The straight path only remains straight when our eyes are fixed on the One who defines it. Proverbs 3 tells us who we trust; Proverbs 4 tells us how we walk once we do.
The narrowness of the path is intentional. Scripture never presents wisdom as the easiest way—only the right one. Jesus echoes this same truth when He teaches that the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and that few find it. This narrow path is not narrow because God is withholding; it is narrow because it is guarded. Guarded from the chaos of self-rule. Guarded from the deception of the flesh. Guarded from paths that feel right but ultimately lead to destruction.
This is why Proverbs 4 warns us not to turn to the right or the left. Deviation rarely begins with the feet—it begins in the heart. When wisdom loosens its hold on us internally, our steps soon follow externally.
That is why the command to guard the heart sits at the center of the chapter:
“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23)
Scripture consistently affirms this truth: the heart is the source, and the rest of life is the overflow. Jesus Himself teaches us that what fills the heart will inevitably make itself known when He says,
“For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Matthew 12:34)
Our words are not accidental. They are not random. They are reveals. What overflows from the mouth first took root in the heart—whether wisdom or folly, trust or fear, submission or self-reliance. Jesus reinforces this again when He explains that a good person brings forth good out of the good treasure stored in the heart, and the opposite is equally true.
This is why Proverbs is so insistent that the heart be guarded above all else. If the heart is left unkept, the mouth will testify to it. If the heart is shaped by wisdom, the fruit will follow.
Here is where Proverbs 3 and Proverbs 4 meet so beautifully. Trusting the Lord with all your heart is not passive. It requires attentiveness, humility, and daily surrender. Fixing our eyes straight ahead is not about strength of will—it is about submission of sight. Whom we look to determines where we walk.
And the promise woven throughout Scripture is this: when our eyes are fixed on the Lord, when our hearts are yielded to His wisdom, and when our steps follow the narrow way—He makes the path straight. Not always easy. Not always comfortable. But always good.
Proverbs 2 doesn’t treat wisdom as optional or passive.
It doesn’t say, “If wisdom happens to cross your path…”
It says receive, treasure, incline your ear, cry out, lift your voice, seek, search.
This chapter shows us the intensity with which wisdom must be pursued—with the same intention and consistency as someone mining for silver. Not a casual stroll. Not a once-a-week glance. But digging. Reaching. Returning day after day because what’s buried is worth the effort.
And Scripture is honest here:
If wisdom is not actively sought, something else will fill the gap.
The absence of wisdom doesn’t leave us neutral—it leaves us vulnerable. Vulnerable to crooked paths, distorted desires, and voices that sound convincing but lead us away from life.
Proverbs 2 also shows us something tender and reassuring: wisdom protects before it corrects.
When we seek it, wisdom guards our steps, sharpens our discernment, and keeps us from paths we don’t yet recognize as dangerous. It doesn’t just tell us what’s right—it keeps us from falling into what would cost us peace, integrity, and joy.
And here’s the promise woven through the whole chapter:
When we seek wisdom earnestly, the Lord gives it.
Not reluctantly. Not sparingly.
He delights to give understanding to those who ask—and He uses it to preserve, guide, and anchor them.
Wisdom is not merely knowledge.
It is protection.
It is clarity.
It is a kindness from God for those who are willing to dig.
Every January, I try to start the year the same way—anchored in wisdom from the Word. One chapter of Proverbs a day. One month. Thirty-one chapters. A reset for my heart and mind.
Today I started with Proverbs 1, and what stood out to me is how clearly God defines wisdom from the very beginning.
Wisdom begins with a proper fear of the Lord—not fear that runs from Him, but reverence that submits to Him. It’s choosing obedience over impulse. Truth over temptation. Discernment over distraction.
Proverbs 1 also gives a loving but sobering warning: Don’t desire evil. Don’t run with people who do. Not because we’re better—but because sin always costs more than it promises.
What really struck me is how wisdom is described as calling out—loudly, clearly, publicly. God isn’t hiding truth. He isn’t whispering it in secret. Wisdom is right in front of us… but some choose ignorance instead. Not because they can’t see—but because they won’t turn.
If you’re looking for a simple way to begin the year grounded in truth, I encourage you to read Proverbs 1 today. As you do, ask yourself:
Am I truly fearing the Lord, or just acknowledging Him?
Are there influences I need to flee instead of justify?
Where has wisdom been calling—and I’ve been ignoring it?
God is faithful to give wisdom to those who ask and walk in humility. Let’s start the year listening.
Since I’ve been so brutally honest in this space about how I often feel about myself, let me just go ahead and share another secret:
This bears no reflection on the character or attributes of God—I’ll be the first to proclaim that He is good all the time, that His ways are higher, and that He is always right, even when I don’t understand.
But here’s the hard thing I wrestle with sometimes.
I get confused when I see people declare things boldly in faith, almost as if they’re entitled to blessing, like they can demand things from God just because they belong to Him. I know we are His. I know He loves us. But I often wonder… is that what faith is supposed to look like? It’s not what I see in the Scriptures.
That posture has never sat quite right with me. Because honestly, I don’t feel like I can ask God for more. He’s already done enough.
As a mom of two sons, I couldn’t imagine giving either of them up—especially knowing they’d suffer and die for things they didn’t do. Even if I knew they would rise in three days, I couldn’t bear it. But God? He did it. He gave His Son. And Jesus came willingly—a sacrifice to atone for my sin. For your sin. For all of us.
That’s why, when I say in my previous post that God thinks you’re worth dying for, this is what I mean. Not some feel-good slogan. But a love so big and sacrificial it defies understanding. A love that didn’t just feel something—it acted.
So how could I possibly ask for more?
I know what Scripture says about prayer. I’ve done the studies. I’ve read the books. I know that He welcomes us to come to Him—to pour out our hearts freely. And I do that. I’m so grateful that when I don’t have the words, the Holy Spirit intercedes for me. When all I have is a sigh or a tear, He knows exactly what it means.
But still… there’s this quiet hesitation in me when it comes to asking for anything more. It’s not about theology. It’s not about what’s true of God. It’s a me thing.
Do you ever feel like that too? Like salvation alone would be more than enough, and anything else feels like asking too much?
If that’s you, I see you. I am you.
But let’s remind each other today:
He already gave the most valuable thing—His Son.
And that same love says we’re welcome.
Not just to be saved.
But to be known.
To be heard.
To be cared for.
So even when it feels like too much to ask—
Let’s come boldly.
Not because we’re entitled.
But because He’s that good.
Let’s talk about it.
Have you ever wrestled with feeling like you shouldn’t ask God for more… even though you know He says you can?
Drop a comment, send me a message, or share this post with a friend who needs the reminder that He welcomes you—fully.
You are loved, seen, heard, and still invited to come.
📖 Why I Created This Bible Study Companion Guide — A Resource to Help You Know and Love God Through His Word
There’s a quiet joy that comes from sitting with an open Bible, heart ready, pen in hand—seeking not just knowledge, but God Himself. For years, I’ve have strived to study the Bible more deeply and faithfully, to see not just verses, but truth—God’s character, His promises, His purposes for the world and for me.
But let’s be honest: studying the Bible can feel overwhelming. Where do I begin? How do I know I’m interpreting this correctly? What does this actually mean? And how does it apply to my life?
These are the questions I’ve asked countless times. And they’re exactly why I created this printable Bible Study Companion Guide—a simple, clear set of questions and reminders that I’ve personally found helpful every time I open Scripture.
After reading two books that have deeply impacted the way I approach the Bible—
Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin, which offers a clear, accessible method rooted in knowing God first,
And 40 Questions About Interpreting the Bible by Robert Plummer, a seminary-level book I first encountered during my theological studies—
—I found myself wanting something concise and practical that I could return to regularly. Not just for me, but for my kids, and a few friends who had also expressed a desire to study Scripture with more confidence and depth.
I asked ChatGPT to help me take the heart and wisdom of these two resources and distill them into a brief guide—something printable, simple, and rooted in sound interpretation principles.
💡 Why This Guide Matters
Every passage of Scripture is part of a bigger story—and when we understand that story, we begin to see God more clearly. This guide is not a rigid formula but a compass—something to reorient our hearts and minds as we read.
You’ll find thoughtful questions like:
“What does this reveal about God?”
“What’s the historical or literary context here?”
“How does this passage fit into the big picture of the Bible?”
By asking these questions, we begin to slow down. We move beyond quick devotionals or isolated verses, and we step into real study. We let the Word shape us, instead of shaping it to fit us.
📄 What’s Inside the PDF
The guide is designed to be printable, shareable, and easy to use—perfect for individuals, families, and small groups. Whether you’re a seminary grad or just starting out, this tool can meet you where you are.
Inside, you’ll find:
Core principles to keep in mind before you begin
Key interpretive questions for every passage
Practical study reminders to avoid common mistakes
A short closing prayer to center your heart on God
It’s the kind of tool you can use every time you open your Bible—and one I hope my own kids will carry with them for years to come.
🤝 A Gift
I created this because I needed it. I still need it. And I wanted to share it because the Word of God is for all of us—not just pastors, not just scholars, but every single follower of Jesus.
If it helps you or someone you love see God more clearly, love Him more deeply, and obey Him more joyfully, then it’s done its job.
So feel free to print it. Share it. Use it with your small group, your kids, your journal, your church. Let it serve you the way it’s served me.
May we be people who study the Word not to master it, but to be mastered by the God who speaks through it.
I’m tagging along on a business trip with my hubs because he’s going to be relatively close to a good friend I haven’t seen in ages! As we do when he and I are on roadtrips, we picked a book to listen to. I had downloaded Jon Acuff’s “All You Need Is A Goal,” since it had been referred to me by my bestie.
There’s the link in case you’d like to get your own copy, I do earn commissions from Amazon from my referral links.
Anyhow, the first exercise he instructs readers to do is create a best moments list. He goes on to list some of his own best moments as well as others so there are ample examples of what those could look like. He even talks about the difficulty in focusing on yourself enough to call attention to some of your accomplishments as you recognize them as best moments. Not all best moments are accomplishments. Later you’ll categorize these moments into 4 different categories: experience, accomplishments, relationship, & objects.
This will not be a book review, it’s the doing of this exercise that captured my attention from a mental health standpoint.
As Shaun and I began to form our lists audibly calling out loud our best moments and reminiscing there were tears, smiles, laughter and joy. Jon said the 40’s hit a little different and are characterized by self reflection which I find to be true.
Today has been a gray day and it sputtered rain off and on all day. This is the typical kind of day that usually gets me down and blue, but this exercise made me really focus on so many of the good and wonderful moments I’ve had in my life. It’s very difficult to be gloomy when you’re focusing on those moments and literally writing them down on a piece of paper that you can stare at. It’s very difficult to ignore the truth you’re very plainly listing out and continue in false and dark thoughts attempting to consume your mind.
I listed things like
-meeting my husband,
-getting to be pregnant 3 times
-having 3 beautiful babies!
-The sound of our children’s laughter even as adults especially when we’re all together.
-Our first trip to CO and every trip since that allowed us to meet some of the most incredible people who have become family and not just friends.
-Specific hunts
-our Little Buddy
-Frankie the Tortoise
-church camp 2018
-publishing my first book!
-and so on!
My list is soooooo long and it’s hard for me to continue to be blue with all of these clearly wonderful moments staring at my face! This will be an exercise I employ when I feel myself being blue, and it’s one you can use too.
As a believer, I have long known the expression “count your blessings” which makes me think of the song and then the following lyric “name the one by one.” This isn’t a new tactic, clearly it’s been in use awhile!
Further, I’ve long learned to employ the verse about taking my thoughts captive in 2Corinthians 10:5 and forcing them to be obedient to the will of a Christ. To turn them from gloom and despair to what Paul suggested us to focus on in his letter to the Philippians,
Philippians 4:8 (NASB95): Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.
Sometimes hearing that and doing it are two separate battles and trying to use it to reprogram your thought processes can be just as tough. This exercise however, is a simple one that set me on the right path today. I know that all good things come from my Father above, so if I’m listing out blessings, that’s focusing on lovely things that are worthy of praising our Father about.
If you’re struggling with depression, what could it hurt to grab a pen and paper and start listing some of your best moments, any favorite memory. You’ll see that the truth, and what you’re feeling, aren’t in alignment right now and you need to continue to focus on these “bests” to have them help you reprogram your “stinkin thinkin.” This worked for my stinkin thinkin today!!
The next book I listen to will be “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” by Joseph Nguyen https://amzn.to/3OeRJHE and I’ll see if there’s anything practical and helpful I can use and share with others in there!
I am definitely not the inventor of that phrase but it’s so very true. It’s a lesson that has taken me way into my adult years to learn where it applies to myself, but I have no trouble seeing the beautiful masterpieces other self-proclaimed broken people color with their lives. More specifically, one of my favorite things to do is to help others see the masterpieces they have painted or are still capable of painting through their brokenness as they cling to God. They literally paint the survival guide for someone going through the same thing. While I see this beauty in others, I often have a tough time recognizing it in myself. Just the other day I encouraged a friend who was struggling with his brokenness with the same words of this title. But 2 weeks later while I was having a pity party, I protested to my husband about my uselessness because I’m broken!
Sidenote
* Ya’ll should probably pray for him because while we are all saints as believers in Christ (1Corinth 1:2) this man is like a hyper saint, just saying.
This is not something our boys have ever struggled with. They’ve learned this lesson and demonstrated it to me on more than one occasion, two that still bring tears to my eyes. We had been to the zoo and on a rare splurge each of the kids selected an overpriced animal from the gift shop. They were young, Tristan, our youngest, was probably 5 or 6 years old. Later in the year we discovered one of the dogs had used one of the back legs of T’s warthog as a chew toy and it was badly mangled. While headed on my way to throw him in the trash, Tristan took off to the bathroom asking if we had any band aids. Instead of throwing him out, Tristan’s first thought was to heal or bandage what was broken. When he realized I was about throw the wart hog away he was incredulous and took him from my hands with tears in his eyes as he said, “if I was wounded would you just throw me out?” …..and the Oscar goes to….TRISTAN. However, Tristan is now 16 and we still have that warthog with medical tape on his back leg which I dutifully applied through tears!
As I sit here unpacking Christmas ornaments, I came across what has become the mascot for our tree and truthfully my life. Frist of all, I am not allowed to do our main tree as a fancy themed tree. I did this one year and was so proud of myself and even had a few people comment about how it looked like it belonged to a department store. My kids HATED it, they prefer our crazy ornaments collected throughout the years that hold special memories and sentimental value. Deep down I agree with them. And so it is that the first ornament I unpacked this year would be the glass dinosaur with the band aid on his bum where his tail should be. Tristan went through a dinosaur stage as every little boy does and had received a treasured dino ornament for Christmas one year. Not wanting a repeat of the warthog guilt as even without a leg that warthog still dutifully snuggles, when we discovered the dino’s tail had broken off, I quickly set to work healing what was broken. That dino still looks beautiful on the tree and under our skilled hands we are able to place him in positions to shine without ever really noticing he’s broken.
This is our relationship with God the Father. We are all broken by our sin and the sufferings of this world wrought by ours and others sin (Rom 3:23). But in Christ we are new creations (2Corinthians 5:17). He starts a work in us that will be completed on the day Christ Jesus returns (Phil 1:6). Healing and restoration is a process for anyone, but we have a supernatural healer working on us who promises to stay right by our sides regardless of the path he calls us to walk (Psalm 23, Psalm 18.33). We have a supernatural strength inside us even in our weakness for when we are weak, Christ’s “grace is sufficient for us and His power is made perfect in weakness” (2Corinth 12:9). When Paul wrote Philippians 4:13 he wasn’t saying he could lift an SUV through Christ who strengthens him, or pass a test, win a game, get a promotion etc. He was talking about persevering through any season of life and any circumstance because of the power of Christ inside him, being content and joyful in seemingly unjoyful circumstances like prison and poverty, for Paul, because of our hope in our Savior Jesus Christ. When we are tethered to Jesus, regardless of our brokenness and hurt, be it physical or emotional we are broken crayons that can very much still color! We are that warthog with the bandaged leg and the dino with the bandaged bum, still useful to our Creator who is more than capable of healing our brokenness!
Please tell me you pronounced that title like it was said on “The Princess Bride”!? In all actuality I was wanting to stay in my horse world with horse thoughts, but I’m doing a zoom Bible study with a group of women about combatting lies we have believed with the truth found in the Word of God. This week was about???? You guessed it MAWAGE, or in case you haven’t seen “The Princess Bride”, (shame on you! LOL) marriage.
Coming from a broken home in a society where divorce is the norm I really never understood the symbolism of marriage. I understood that it was an important commitment to be taken seriously and except in cases of extreme exceptions, marriage is lifelong. I didn’t start to truly grasp the Biblical imagery of marriage until well over a decade into my marriage. Additionally, I carried and still catch myself carrying some unhealthy or incorrect thoughts, fears, and ideas about marriage. It is always when I come to the Word of God that I am able to see those imperfections and allow His Word to correct them and then act on them.
We understand the concepts of monogamy, and faithfulness that are true of a marriage, in Genesis 2:24 “husband and wife are joined together and become one flesh.” We even see the Old Testament prophets (specifically Hosea)compare God’s people to a wife cheating on her husband, God.
Often, we incorrectly think marriage means one or the other spouse loses their individuality. This was especially true in my case when well-intentioned people taught me what is required of me to be a Godly wife and explained the expectation of submissiveness citing Ephesians 5:22. Under their tutelage my life would now revolve around my husband and I would care for his every need, clean the house, wash the clothes, raise the children, make myself available to him and serve him. Under instruction like that, I was basically walking rebellion looking for a place to happen. If you look at that entire passage and unpack the rest of it and back up to Ephesians 4:15-16 as well, you understand that “as husbands are to be the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything,” we are really talking about leadership and so much more. Unpack that whole passage from Eph 5:22 down to verse 33 and sprinkle in Eph 4!
Ephesians 5:22-33New American Standard Bible 1995
Marriage Like Christ and the Church
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church [a]in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she [b]respects her husband.
Understanding God’s attributes also helps us to better understand the relationship between husband and wife as we submit to the authority of God. We know that God is needless, and is not served by human hands according to Acts 17:25. We also know that according to Psalm 145:8-9 that He is gracious, merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and good to all. In the passage in Ephesians 5 above, we see evidence of the husband’s responsibility to exhibit characteristics of these attributes, and trust me, a man like that is easy to follow! The body of Christ has Christ as the head, the leader. So a wife should be inclined to follow the husband’s leadership. John Piper uses “the inclination to yield or a disposition to follow because no subjection to another human is absolute. The husband does not replace Christ as the woman’s supreme authority.” Humans, including our husbands, are sinful and we should never follow them into sin. This is certainly building the picture of a relationship between husband and wife that because I love and trust him, I want to follow him while understanding we are both in subjection to God as we together follow Him.
Interesting, now we’re getting somewhere I’m on board with going. This is painting a picture of God’s relationship with His people, the church, believers in Christ Jesus as Savior and Lord. Just as God allowed the use of the different individual writing styles of the men who penned the 66 books of the Bible as the Holy Spirit led, being in submission to God or our husband’s doesn’t mean we lose our individuality nor are we becoming their nanny as if they aren’t capable of doing anything for themselves. We are all members of one body, but all do not have the same function, yet all are needed for the body to be complete and effective. Just as members of the body are gifted with certain spiritual giftings to be used to serve and make the body of Christ stronger and more effective, I also have individual and specific traits that when paired with my husband make our partnership better, capable of more than we could each achieve separately. The hand may bring food to the mouth, and the mouth may chew, but the nutrients never get used in the body without the digestive system. All of these parts are needed to work in their individual ways collectively to accomplish a main goal. While I have had the great privilege of being able to stay home with our kids and start my own business while my hubby works outside the home, I do end up doing most of the housework, childcare, and a lot of the cooking, but make no mistake, my hubby is capable of doing all of those things too and does as do our kids. He doesn’t do them to “help me out,” he does them because he lives here too, and we together had children and we all collectively make the messes so we all collectively clean them up.
For years I compared myself to women I held on a pedestal of being the perfect submissive wives with their clean houses and washed folded, and put away laundry, their organizing gadgets, and their calm, gentle and quiet ways with everyone. I tend to be a little louder, and sometimes too opinionated, I don’t think mating socks should ever have been a thing, and I like tidy, but I also prefer our home look like we live there, and you can feel comfortable relaxing there too. I have always been what others previously called a tomboy, I prefer the outside to the inside and when I am inside, I like to bring the outside in with me, so it doesn’t feel quite so inside. I love so many of the things the boys love, hunting, fishing, muscle cars and tough trucks, baseball, shooting, and don’t mind competing with them to prove it, since birth ya’ll. All of these things together made me feel like I’d never be the perfect organized, decorative, clean freak, soft-spoken, timid, servant and prayer warrior of wife that I thought I had to be. All I can say now is, THANK GOD I’M NOT what I thought I was supposed to be. Those women are absolutely what THEIR husbands need, and they are slaying what God called them to do inside THEIR giftings for THEIR families.
My husband needed all of the things I thought were wrong about me as well as being a servant of Christ and prayer warrior! He’s needed an actual warrior at times to stand beside him and wield a sword and he’s needed me to stand in front and shield him when he’s needed to catch a breath. My kids, all believers, have been made Holy through the blood of Christ, but they are also a little hood! So sometimes I have to break out my hood side and set things straight! We’re a little hood and holy! I honestly think if I was less Jael and more Esther or Naomi like, that I wouldn’t have been capable of being up to the task of being Shaun’s help mate! The way God made me wasn’t a mistake and I’m not some rebellious jezebel, which I have actually been called, bless her heart, I know she meant well. I’m definitely a sinner who needed a Savior and I’m in definite need of staying in the Word of God and asking forgiveness when I realize I have behaved in a way that is contrary to God’s will, but I was uniquely made by Him for MY race and MY family so I have different strengths and talents than other women who need what God gifted THEM with for THEIR families and THEIR RACE.
You may be feeling some of these same things too. I’ve talked with many a woman who doesn’t understand why she was made a certain way instead of like some other lady whom she clearly admires. I can assure you; I’ve been there, and comparison is a joy thief and, in this case, a great way the enemy attacks and whoops up on us or lets us whoop up on ourselves! I can also assure you that God does not make mistakes, He is perfect the Bible says so in Matthew 5:48. As long as you are following Him and yielding to His leadership your fierceness, timidity, or insert any adjective that obviously does not contradict the word of God, meaning it is not sinful. Those qualities about you are exactly the way you are supposed to be for YOUR race as you pursue Christ and use your uniqueness to help both the body of Christ be more effective as well as your marriage while you use them in your role as wife and bondservant of Christ!
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Raychel Writes 