There comes a point in parenting when you stop narrating every decision for your child.
You’ve warned them.
You’ve taught them.
You’ve repeated yourself more times than you can count.
And eventually… you step back.
That’s what Proverbs 9 feels like.
For eight chapters, Proverbs has largely been framed as a father speaking to his son. My son… listen… keep… do not turn aside. It is pastoral, repetitive, and protective by design. This is covenantal instruction — wisdom being formed, not merely transferred. But in Proverbs 9, the voice shifts. The father recedes, and Wisdom herself takes the floor.
This isn’t subtle. It’s intentional.
Literarily, Proverbs 9 functions as a culmination and a hinge. Everything before it has been preparing the reader for this moment, and everything after it (beginning in chapter 10) shifts into short, distilled sayings. The long-form instruction gives way to choice. Formation gives way to responsibility.
Wisdom doesn’t whisper. She doesn’t hide in the private spaces. She builds a house — described as having seven pillars, a number that consistently communicates completeness and stability in Scripture. She prepares a feast. She sends out messengers. She calls from the highest places where her voice cannot be missed.
“Come,” she says.
Not after you clean yourself up.
Not after you mature a little more.
Just — come.
And what strikes me is this: by now, the reader is no longer being taught how to recognize wisdom. We are expected to already know her voice. The instruction has been sufficient. The warnings have been clear. Now comes the moment of response.
This mirrors spiritual maturity.
Early faith often leans heavily on borrowed voices — parents, pastors, teachers. And those voices matter deeply. God uses them. But eventually, wisdom must be encountered directly. The question becomes not what have you been taught, but who will you listen to when competing voices call?
Proverbs 9 makes that confrontation unavoidable by placing Wisdom and Folly side by side.
Folly is not subtle either. She is loud. She is seductive. But she is also empty. She does not build; she sits. She does not prepare; she steals. What she offers feels exciting precisely because it costs nothing up front. Stolen water. Secret bread. Hidden consequences.
And Scripture tells us plainly — her guests do not know that the dead are there.
Both women call to the same audience:
the simple,
the uncommitted,
the still-forming.
Wisdom offers life. Folly offers death. And neither disguises the nature of their invitation.
Then we arrive at the theological center of the chapter:
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.
This verse anchors the entire book. Wisdom is not intellectual achievement. It is not moral intuition. It begins with right orientation toward God. The fear of the Lord is reverent submission — recognizing God as holy, authoritative, and good. Wisdom does not originate in us. It is received through humility.
This is why Proverbs cannot be reduced to self-help. Detached from the fear of the Lord, its sayings lose their foundation. What remains may sound practical, but it will not lead to life.
And this brings me back to motherhood.
As mothers, we spend years shaping hearts and habits. We explain. We warn. We model. We correct. We hope that what we’ve poured in will one day stand on its own when we are no longer present to narrate the moment.
Proverbs 9 feels like that moment.
The father has spoken. Wisdom now speaks for herself. And the reader must choose.
So today, I’m asking myself the same question I’ve asked my children in a hundred different ways:
Who are you listening to?
Because wisdom is still calling.
She still stands in the open.
She still offers life.
The question isn’t whether she’s speaking.
It’s whether we recognize her voice —
and whether we’re willing to follow it when no one else is telling us what to do.
There’s something about fall that feels like both a pause button and a reset button at the same time. The air gets a little crisper, the days a little shorter, and the colors around us seem to shout, change is coming.
Our family is standing in that same place right now—on the cusp of a new season. The bright colors of what’s ahead excite us. But here’s the reminder: there’s always work to do before you can fully step into the next.
Think about it.
Even while getting to enjoy fall’s beauty, you rake the leaves.
Before winter sets in, you put away the garden and pull out the coats.
Every season requires preparation.
Spiritually, it’s no different.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” That means the work of transition is holy too. It’s not wasted—it’s where God gets us ready.
For us, that looks like letting go of things that belonged to the last season and making room for what God is doing in the next. It means tightening our grip on gratitude, loosening our grip on control, and trusting that if He has brought us this far, He isn’t about to leave us now.
And isn’t that what Jesus modeled? He didn’t rush seasons—He embraced them. Luke 5:16 tells us that Jesus often withdrew to lonely places to pray. That was His way of preparing for the next step. If the Son of God needed those pauses, then maybe we do too.
So here’s my reminder to myself—and maybe to you too: the work of transition is worth it. On the other side is the joy of a new season.
Maybe that’s where you are right now—standing between what was and what’s about to be. Don’t despise the in-between. Prepare well, because what’s coming is good.
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” (Isaiah 43:19)
Friend, God is doing something new—in me, in my family, and in you. Let’s not miss it by rushing through the work of change. The season ahead is bright.
👉 What season of transition are you in right now? I’d love to hear how God is preparing you for what’s ahead.
I’m tagging along on a business trip with my hubs because he’s going to be relatively close to a good friend I haven’t seen in ages! As we do when he and I are on roadtrips, we picked a book to listen to. I had downloaded Jon Acuff’s “All You Need Is A Goal,” since it had been referred to me by my bestie.
There’s the link in case you’d like to get your own copy, I do earn commissions from Amazon from my referral links.
Anyhow, the first exercise he instructs readers to do is create a best moments list. He goes on to list some of his own best moments as well as others so there are ample examples of what those could look like. He even talks about the difficulty in focusing on yourself enough to call attention to some of your accomplishments as you recognize them as best moments. Not all best moments are accomplishments. Later you’ll categorize these moments into 4 different categories: experience, accomplishments, relationship, & objects.
This will not be a book review, it’s the doing of this exercise that captured my attention from a mental health standpoint.
As Shaun and I began to form our lists audibly calling out loud our best moments and reminiscing there were tears, smiles, laughter and joy. Jon said the 40’s hit a little different and are characterized by self reflection which I find to be true.
Today has been a gray day and it sputtered rain off and on all day. This is the typical kind of day that usually gets me down and blue, but this exercise made me really focus on so many of the good and wonderful moments I’ve had in my life. It’s very difficult to be gloomy when you’re focusing on those moments and literally writing them down on a piece of paper that you can stare at. It’s very difficult to ignore the truth you’re very plainly listing out and continue in false and dark thoughts attempting to consume your mind.
I listed things like
-meeting my husband,
-getting to be pregnant 3 times
-having 3 beautiful babies!
-The sound of our children’s laughter even as adults especially when we’re all together.
-Our first trip to CO and every trip since that allowed us to meet some of the most incredible people who have become family and not just friends.
-Specific hunts
-our Little Buddy
-Frankie the Tortoise
-church camp 2018
-publishing my first book!
-and so on!
My list is soooooo long and it’s hard for me to continue to be blue with all of these clearly wonderful moments staring at my face! This will be an exercise I employ when I feel myself being blue, and it’s one you can use too.
As a believer, I have long known the expression “count your blessings” which makes me think of the song and then the following lyric “name the one by one.” This isn’t a new tactic, clearly it’s been in use awhile!
Further, I’ve long learned to employ the verse about taking my thoughts captive in 2Corinthians 10:5 and forcing them to be obedient to the will of a Christ. To turn them from gloom and despair to what Paul suggested us to focus on in his letter to the Philippians,
Philippians 4:8 (NASB95): Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.
Sometimes hearing that and doing it are two separate battles and trying to use it to reprogram your thought processes can be just as tough. This exercise however, is a simple one that set me on the right path today. I know that all good things come from my Father above, so if I’m listing out blessings, that’s focusing on lovely things that are worthy of praising our Father about.
If you’re struggling with depression, what could it hurt to grab a pen and paper and start listing some of your best moments, any favorite memory. You’ll see that the truth, and what you’re feeling, aren’t in alignment right now and you need to continue to focus on these “bests” to have them help you reprogram your “stinkin thinkin.” This worked for my stinkin thinkin today!!
The next book I listen to will be “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” by Joseph Nguyen https://amzn.to/3OeRJHE and I’ll see if there’s anything practical and helpful I can use and share with others in there!
When I’m in my feels I write, it gives me something productive to do instead of just cry.
Over the last 2 years we’ve done a lot of waving and hugging bye and it still hasn’t gotten any easier, and nothing prepares you.
Nothing really prepares you for the vacancy at home, For waking up to an empty house and being all alone.
The missing sound of tiny feet and all the chatter being gone. Driving away after holidays with empty seats just feels wrong.
Nothing prepares you for leaving them behind, or watching them drive out the driveway to go back to their home, or the feeling that poisons that last day together knowing tomorrow you’ll wake up empty and alone.
Nothing prepares you for the tightness in your chest and the invisible hand around your neck. Just when you think you’ve got the battle won and you can make it, the memories flood back!
The tears cloud your vision at random times in the day, and the pain that comes with missing them dulls but never goes away. It’s not as though they’re completely gone, you’ll see them again, you’ll arrange vacations and visits and burn up the FaceTime calls until you’re back together with them.
The time is never long enough, you hate for them to leave. No one really prepares you for your bigs to grow up or the way it makes you grieve. When the first ones out you begin to grieve the others if they’re close, even though they’re still at home you know all of them leaving will hurt the most. You learn to treasure the moments and the time that you have left, you hold them a little tighter and hug a little longer and don’t explain your eyes when they randomly become wet. Nothing can prepare you for the way letting them grow up feels, even though you know it’s the right way you, just long for those big sit down family meals.
The laughter around the table now is a balm that heals your soul, and the pile of shoes and chaos that maybe used to bother you is let go!
Nothing really prepares you when all of you grow old, maybe something will come along and ease the ache someday like a grand baby to hold.
I am definitely not the inventor of that phrase but it’s so very true. It’s a lesson that has taken me way into my adult years to learn where it applies to myself, but I have no trouble seeing the beautiful masterpieces other self-proclaimed broken people color with their lives. More specifically, one of my favorite things to do is to help others see the masterpieces they have painted or are still capable of painting through their brokenness as they cling to God. They literally paint the survival guide for someone going through the same thing. While I see this beauty in others, I often have a tough time recognizing it in myself. Just the other day I encouraged a friend who was struggling with his brokenness with the same words of this title. But 2 weeks later while I was having a pity party, I protested to my husband about my uselessness because I’m broken!
Sidenote
* Ya’ll should probably pray for him because while we are all saints as believers in Christ (1Corinth 1:2) this man is like a hyper saint, just saying.
This is not something our boys have ever struggled with. They’ve learned this lesson and demonstrated it to me on more than one occasion, two that still bring tears to my eyes. We had been to the zoo and on a rare splurge each of the kids selected an overpriced animal from the gift shop. They were young, Tristan, our youngest, was probably 5 or 6 years old. Later in the year we discovered one of the dogs had used one of the back legs of T’s warthog as a chew toy and it was badly mangled. While headed on my way to throw him in the trash, Tristan took off to the bathroom asking if we had any band aids. Instead of throwing him out, Tristan’s first thought was to heal or bandage what was broken. When he realized I was about throw the wart hog away he was incredulous and took him from my hands with tears in his eyes as he said, “if I was wounded would you just throw me out?” …..and the Oscar goes to….TRISTAN. However, Tristan is now 16 and we still have that warthog with medical tape on his back leg which I dutifully applied through tears!
As I sit here unpacking Christmas ornaments, I came across what has become the mascot for our tree and truthfully my life. Frist of all, I am not allowed to do our main tree as a fancy themed tree. I did this one year and was so proud of myself and even had a few people comment about how it looked like it belonged to a department store. My kids HATED it, they prefer our crazy ornaments collected throughout the years that hold special memories and sentimental value. Deep down I agree with them. And so it is that the first ornament I unpacked this year would be the glass dinosaur with the band aid on his bum where his tail should be. Tristan went through a dinosaur stage as every little boy does and had received a treasured dino ornament for Christmas one year. Not wanting a repeat of the warthog guilt as even without a leg that warthog still dutifully snuggles, when we discovered the dino’s tail had broken off, I quickly set to work healing what was broken. That dino still looks beautiful on the tree and under our skilled hands we are able to place him in positions to shine without ever really noticing he’s broken.
This is our relationship with God the Father. We are all broken by our sin and the sufferings of this world wrought by ours and others sin (Rom 3:23). But in Christ we are new creations (2Corinthians 5:17). He starts a work in us that will be completed on the day Christ Jesus returns (Phil 1:6). Healing and restoration is a process for anyone, but we have a supernatural healer working on us who promises to stay right by our sides regardless of the path he calls us to walk (Psalm 23, Psalm 18.33). We have a supernatural strength inside us even in our weakness for when we are weak, Christ’s “grace is sufficient for us and His power is made perfect in weakness” (2Corinth 12:9). When Paul wrote Philippians 4:13 he wasn’t saying he could lift an SUV through Christ who strengthens him, or pass a test, win a game, get a promotion etc. He was talking about persevering through any season of life and any circumstance because of the power of Christ inside him, being content and joyful in seemingly unjoyful circumstances like prison and poverty, for Paul, because of our hope in our Savior Jesus Christ. When we are tethered to Jesus, regardless of our brokenness and hurt, be it physical or emotional we are broken crayons that can very much still color! We are that warthog with the bandaged leg and the dino with the bandaged bum, still useful to our Creator who is more than capable of healing our brokenness!
At this point the world knows I have a 60 pound escape artist of a tortoise! He’s escaped at our home in Texas and he’s escaped at our home in Virginia. The first time he escaped it was completely my fault, I left the gates open! Future escapes have been because he’s strong, or major rain events have caused deterioration to his pen, or something on his pen broke or wore out like this last time. Sometimes it takes us a bit to figure out what we need to fix. As a result he’s now outfitted with a tracker!
There’s always tears and heartache when I lose Franklin. This time was no different. He was gone for 6 days and I cried every one of them. I searched every single day even in the rain knowing the weather was too cool in the evenings for him to go too far or move too much. He was ultimately found less than a half mile from the house by the sweetest girls who were just as elated at having found him an reunited him with us as we were that they found him and he was safe and sound.
I realized while taking steps to ensure we don’t have to go through this heartache again that there was something far more beautiful that has happened each time Frankie has been found.
In our community in Texas and in our community here in Virginia when the trumpet blast was sounded via social media, word of mouth, and text or phone calls, the community sprung into action to help us. When people you don’t know, have never met, and maybe never will, take the time to not only share your post, but to physically go out and walk the neighborhood, to message or comment words of encouragement and let you know they’re praying it ads dimension to the relief of finding Frankie. This is the beauty of community! God created us in His image which includes living in relationship and community together with Him but also with each other.
Finding Frankie in Texas and Virginia has come with its beauty and relief but seeing communities come together to support us in both of those places has been so much more beautiful. Honestly, we were longing for the same type of connection to our new community here in Virginia that we have in Texas. Finding Frankie helped us to see the beauty of this precious community and see with new eyes the joy of connecting to others in it.
I can only imagine what life was like in the early church in Acts chapter 2 as they daily met together and broke bread in their homes and shared their meals and “God added daily to their numbers those who were being saved!” Acts 2:47
Community, connection, unity is important, Paul writes about having the same mind in Philippians 2 loving one another and being united in spirit intent on one purpose. Specifically, he even noted to consider others interests as important as your own.
Our community considered my interests in Finding Frankie. They demonstrated love to us and we are so grateful to be a part of them, but also to see God’s word more clearly as we think about living in community and being united in one spirit intent on furthering the gospel.
This may mean sacrificing my time, my wants, my preferences so that someone else will come to know Jesus as Savior and King. As I reflect on how our community responded in love to help us find Frankie, I also reflect on God’s word and purpose for our lives and the tenacity with which he leaves the 99 to find the one lost (Matt 18 and Luke 15) and hope that we demonstrate that same zeal for sharing the gospel with the lost!
I previously saved the “Love Is” cartoons from the Dallas Morning News which always featured a couple drawn in a precious moments style and a cute saying, like, “love is always kissing her goodnight.” One very aptly read “Love is letting her warm her feet!” This one makes me laugh because my husband HATES cold things touching his skin and he’s always incredibly warm, my feet….not so much…..and I KNOW it’s an act of true love when he sticks his legs up to the bottom of my feet and let’s me warm them! There are a million other things that love is and a million and one that the world will tell you it is.
That’s vulnerability!
My vote is to always look to the word of God to discern what things are because He’s the reason it exists anyway! 1 John 4:8, NIV: Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. Jesus tells us the greatest command is to love the Lord our God with all of our heart soul and mind, and the second greatest is like it, to love our neighbors as ourself in Matthew 22:37-39. He wasn’t talking about the house next to you, He was talking about everyone you see. Every person you come into contact with is your neighbor. We could go deeper into that, but let’s follow the “love trail” for today. There’s an entire chapter in 1 Corinthians dedicated to love!
1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a ringing gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have absolute faith so as to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and exult in the surrender of my body, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. 6Love takes no pleasure in evil, but rejoices in the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be restrained; where there is knowledge, it will be dismissed. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when the perfect comes, the partial passes away.
11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I set aside childish ways. 12Now we see but a dim reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians literally the whole chapter 13
Did you catch that? Bc it was a lot! Let’s look at an excerpt.
Not only is God all of those things because he is love, as we follow Him and demonstrate His love to others as He has asked us to do this should characterize how we love others.
In youth we had a sign that we would hold across our chests with our hands when we needed to encourage someone to remember how to be loving which consisted of a 1 and a 3 to remind ourselves of this chapter. We also liked to do “Live it outs,” which were practical ways that we would apply Scriptural knowledge and live it out in our daily lives. I mentioned a personal example of Shaun and my cold feet! There are so many others.
Sometimes loving others makes us nervous, AWKWARD, vulnerable, and look weird…ok a lot of times it can do that. It can be not coming back with that zinger while verbally sparring with someone that is sure to win you popularity points with the class or crowd and get a good laugh but humiliate the other person. Love may look like sitting beside a friend who’s lost a loved one and not saying a word just being present so they know they aren’t alone because nothing you can say would make a difference in that moment anyway. Love may look like a text to say you were thinking about them. It may look like showing up with dinner for a family after they’ve received rough news or been through something or have been sick. It may look like a shift at the hospital with a friend who’s fighting for their life or healing from an injury or surgery, it may look like walking in and doing the dishes or laundry for a friend after the loss of a loved one or even when they have children and just need a break. It may look like walking in and holding the baby for a friend so she can shower or nap for a bit. It may look like an invitation to literally anything. It sounds a whole lot like doing life together, even when it’s awkward and you don’t know what to say! It’s certainly always sharing the gospel because that is the greatest demonstration of love ever and it shows you care about them spiritually, not just physically and if you’ve ever done that it can be real awkward. Sometimes love is speaking the truth IN LOVE saying the hard things in the softest of ways. Love only looks like things that glorify God the Father because He is love. Let’s untether from our worldly, hallmark, and other awful movie depictions of love and tether ourselves to the Father who will show us how we can love each other sacrificially in Him and by His power!
Earlier today and all of yesterday I was, in fact, uninspired. Not really uninspired to write but just down in the dumps, “feeling”, sort of useless, and very not like every parent tells their children they are “special.” Today as it rained again, I ascertained these are the normal feelings of so many grey days in a row for me, so, on the way home, I started trying to intentionally take my thoughts captive and focus my mind on pure, lovely, and holy, things. Yes, I’m using my own biblical counseling strategy to counsel myself. I got home, turned on some lights, and tackled one task that needed to be done. I was already feeling better.
Some years ago, my family accepted a very gracious invitation to attend a family retreat at Frontier Camp on Houston County Lake, near Grapeland, TX. We lived close enough to travel back and forth for the daily activities, but many other families stayed in the cabins at camp. That is a precious memory for our family as we did so many things together with other families, from the big swing to arrow tag, dodgeball, decorating cookies, gaga ball (which I think we are supposed to call something else), basketball, and so many other activities, but the one that sticks with us most as a family, was a Bible study. The retreat pastor shared a very real and vulnerable story about parenting and his family, whom we knew personally, our son will spend this coming weekend with his son, and they are in their 20’s now! The message was on Godly living, with multiple passages from the Bible encouraging us to Walk Worthy in the manner in which we are called, as ambassadors for Christ, sons and daughters of God, our citizenship being in Heaven and representing like it!
He shared that “Walk Worthy” was a regular phrase that came from his mouth as his kids left the home for school or work, it became a regular phrase to the kids, bonus and biological, as they left my home too. Occasionally, I’d chase them out the door just to shout, “I love you, Walk Worthy!” as they got in their cars. It was a sign that one of our incredible mentors in youth made for us, and to my knowledge, is still hanging above the youth room door as a challenge to live out the faith you say you believe in your daily life to this very day.
As I sat there thinking on that wonderful experience at Frontier Camp, and our continued relationships with so many of those camp families, and about us sharing that message with youth so much so that it became their motto too. We even had our own double W “Walk Worthy” “hand sign” we would sometimes use to silently encourage each other. Today, it occurred to me, the very act of pushing through and taking my thoughts captive and forcing them to align with the will of Christ WAS walking worthy. Daily choices we make, especially on the hard days are what walking worthy is all about. I had to untether myself from the unhealthy thoughts and tether myself to thoughts of Christ! Let’s walk worthy brothers and sisters, and when we stumble a bit, grab hold of one another and encourage each other on!
That’s something I think everyone wants to feel, like they are seen by someone else and have value, those three statements were made from a place of deep love for the development of someone they cared so deeply about. Nothing had been done to earn that “special treatment”, it was freely given, often is the case between a parent and an infant. Often, or in my experience, as we get older, and society begins to warp our thinking and sometimes the way we love others we fall into the trap of performance-based love.
I remember as a girl feeling like my parents loved me more if I made straight A’s or sat 1st chair in whichever band I was in. I’m sure that wasn’t really true as I have 3 kids of my own and love them whether they do amazing things or perfectly regular things or even bad things. I don’t love the bad things but I do love them. no matter what. I repeat the phrase, “there’s nothing you could ever do or say to make me not love you,” regularly.
We don’t always feel that way though, especially since the inventions of social media. We are in a terrible habit of feeling worthy and lovable when other people tell us we are through our likes and engagements on social platforms and external validation is what begins to shape what we believe about ourselves. This unfortunately effects our ability to receive feedback that could help us grow because rather than responding to it with an eagerness to learn and grow we perceive it as rejection and an attack that makes us feel unaccepted and unloved. I have definitely been guilty of this, and still am from time to time. Unfortunately, I have allowed myself to be affected so much by this external validation, and performance-based love that I have often had thoughts about why anyone would or does love me.
Recently, I was invited to join a virtual Bible study by a friend. First, just the act of being invited is such a loving, thoughtful thing, so thanks for that, friend, I will be sure to do the same for others! We are studying a Nancy Guthrie book called, “Blessed” over the book of Revelation in the Bible. As I worked diligently through the 1st set of lesson questions I was loving the style and structure which caused us to focus on the one giant metanarrative of the entire Bible which is God’s great love for us culminating in the gospel message of Jesus’ birth, death, burial, and resurrection. It all points to Jesus.
We were looking specifically at Revelation 1 verses 5-7 and discussing what it reveals to us about Jesus, about who he is, what he has done, and what he’s going to do.
“and from Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth. To Him who loves us and released us from our sis by His blood.”
The very next question instructed us to dwell upon one or two aspects of the previous question that were particularly meaningful to us. In full transparency and vulnerability, I wrote, “loved-because often enough I don’t “feel” like I’m worth loving or understand why anyone would love me.” Second, I wrote, ” released- words cannot describe how it feels to have Jesus take all your ugly/evil and pay the ultimate price of death for it without you doing a thing to earn it or deserve it and then still be able, but more than that willing and wanting, to look you in the eye knowing everything about you and still love you and want a relationship with you.” I couldn’t even type that without tearing up all over again. Jesus, my Savior and King of Kings, loves me that much and knows everything about me. This is true for you too.
Truthfully, I’m not sure my life would be at all the same or even be still happening if it wasn’t for someone being willing to share about Jesus and His great love for me and then a lot of someones discipling me so that I truly know that the ultimate authority on all things is God and the Word of God. What His word says is true regardless of what is going on in the world, and regardless of how I “feel”. When I read what His word says about me, since I am in Christ, because I value it as the ultimate authority, regardless of how I feel, I find I can face tomorrow. (If you know me personally you know that just made me think of a song!) In Christ all that ugly/evil that I know about myself is no longer condemning because His word tells me that’s true,
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Don’t forget to go back and read what the “therefore” is there for, the previous chapter talks about believers being united to Christ and then proceeds into the result being deliverance from bondage to sin. Isn’t that so comforting? Comfort is the opposite of what I feel when I listen to the lies of the devil who seeks to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10). Unfortunately, he’s able to steal my joy and comfort with thoughts from inside my own head sometimes. It’s why Paul warned us to take every thought captive and conform it to the will of Christ in 2Corinthians 10:5 and told us to focus on whatever is true, pure, lovely, and holy in Philippians 4:8. I have to untether myself from the thoughts and opinions of others, and sometimes from my own thoughts and opinions of myself, and tether myself to what God’s word says about me in Christ. This may be true for you too. Even when I don’t “feel” it, “I will praise Him because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14. I hope this draws you to God and His word and gives you the courage to live a life untethered to the lies of the world, the flesh, and the devil, and tethered to Jesus. Definitely reach out if you have questions!
*Disclaimer-if I mentioned a book or movie I linked it to Amazon for purchase should you want to which I could earn a commission from!
Untethered is a product of my life drastically changing as a result of a new season. Hi, I’m Raychel! Last year about this time (Jan 2022), my husband, Shaun, and I along with the rest of our family embarked on what we thought would be a new adventure in a new season of calling. It was all of that and then some! The “and then some” is the primary reason I’m sitting here typing this.
Our Family’s Background and Ministry Life in Texas
A little historical context… Shaun and I have been married for 22 years and have 3 amazing kids which I homeschooled, and we have some amazing bonus kids too. He had lived in the same precious town his entire life. I was born on an Air Force base and moved around A LOT until my dad retired, he and my mother got a divorce, and my life sort of went a little haywire but I did manage to go to all 4 years of high school in the same school! By that time, I had lived in Texas for 6 consecutive years. I had, to that point, lived a life untethered to any place and any person except my mother because, up to that point, even though I was incredibly close to my dad, and had a hero-level big brother, she was the only constant in my life… until Shaun. We met a month before I graduated high school.
He was already working for Nucor and when we met, he claims he “knew” immediately that he was going to marry me! He was right, because 5 months later we said, “I do”! We settled into the town he grew up in and 2 years later welcomed the first of 2 smart, handsome boys almost 5 years apart with a firecracker of a gorgeous warrior princess in between them! As marriages do, we had some major ups and major downs but turned to the Lord through all of it and He began to guide us into a season of service that would so deeply connect us to our community, church family, and youth that when He moved us into the new season we are currently experiencing, I felt as though a part of me had been ripped from my body and as a God trusting, Bible reading, praying Christian, I went through one of the deepest depressions of my life.
Becoming untethered can feel positive and negative, sometimes both at the same time.
Our family in Texas right after the Virginia move where God called us into a new season — rooted in love, ready for wherever He leads.
Answering God’s Call to Go
Instead of giving you our entire ministry history, suffice it to say that God used some amazing people to disciple and grow us as we followed Him and eventually led us to a staff position serving in student ministry. May of 2021 was a milestone in ministry as the first group of students that we had the privilege of influencing for all four years of high school graduated, to include our oldest son. We just thought we grieved then! Up until that point we had been equippers and senders, and only goers short term. In January of 2022 that changed, and the call to “go” was heard and accepted. Resigning from youth and stepping away from those families we had grown so attached to was gut-wrenching.
Our oldest was nearly through with his associate’s degree with Liberty University and decided to start work at Nucor, following in Shaun’s footsteps. This meant we had to leave him behind. The family of five who stayed together pretty much 24/7 except for the hours that Shaun was at work, was now missing an entire member.
Adventure was on the horizon as we were doing an interim stint in Indiana and were traveling ahead of an incoming snowstorm! That was probably the only thing that kept me and the kids from crying the entire drive as Shaun had gone up the week before us. We’ve only seen that much snow one other time in our lives when some friends, who we consider family, invited us to their home in New Mexico with them on vacation, but snow melts…
As the snow melted, so did our excitement of the new adventure and we found ourselves in another charming little town, but knowing no one, not knowing how to get anywhere without Google Maps, feeling unknown, unseen, grieving the loss of all things and people familiar, especially our son—being very untethered.
No one really warned me about the minor irritations of just not knowing how to get places, not being able to find the same foods, visit the same chain restaurants. I learned what a comfort familiarity had been and how much I hadn’t recognized or appreciated it before.
Six months later, after an intense interview process, Shaun was offered and accepted an operations manager position in Virginia. More unfamiliar. More unknown. No snow in Southern Virginia to speak of, but we are an hour from the beach and smack dab in the middle of some amazing history! That’s still not enough excitement to overcome some of the toughest mental battles yet.
Losing Identity and Finding God’s Purpose
In Texas, our entire family was serving in our local church body together. Shaun and I served our community on the board of directors of the Chamber of Commerce (2021 was my favorite town Christmas celebration if I do say so myself). I owned and operated a gun shop and training center as a certified instructor. We had cultivated a reputation and credibility from years of service and doing life together with our community. We were known.
Moving to Virginia, Shaun’s reputation preceded him to a degree because he is still with Nucor; mine did not. I entered into a tailspin of lost identity and lost purpose. I could plainly see how God had enlarged Shaun’s sphere of influence and how he was being used, but I could not see the same thing for me.
Virginia is much more restrictive than Texas in a lot of areas that I had previously operated in, and I just felt so untethered—less like a hot air balloon that does have some control over how high it goes and for how long and more like a helium-filled balloon whose string had slipped from a child’s grasp on a windy day.
The Physical Toll of an Untethered Life
The stresses of all of it, not to mention securing a safe place to live that we could at least bring some of our animals to, I had allowed to have detrimental effects to my body. Cortisol, the stress hormone and not having any regular exercise does not do a body or mind good! Starting over is hard, more so when your hubs doesn’t have to start over as much as you do and if not held in check can lead to resentment.
After I graduated from seminary, I knew I didn’t know all the stuff. I couldn’t believe they were letting me walk across the stage with a Master’s degree! It was the same way when we finished our “Counseling By the Book” Biblical counseling certificate program.
In fact, prior to this season, Shaun and I had done quite a bit of counseling, and this season taught me as much—if not more—in some areas as all of our classes did. I can truly empathize with people I couldn’t have in areas I could not have before.
Wrestling with the Desire for Heaven
I can’t tell you how many tears I’ve shed through this season, how much I wished for death. There’s a difference between being suicidal and understanding Paul’s words in Philippians 1:21: “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
Life isn’t always sunshine and sparkles, and neither is living out your calling—just look at the disciples! But “heaven will surely be worth it all!” Longing for Heaven because your mind can’t even comprehend how amazing it will be, especially in contrast to this broken world, is not the same as being suicidal.
But, choosing not to do basic everyday skills—like shower, clean up after yourself, move your body, soak up sunshine, read The Word, eat real food, engage in your home and with the people around you—those things are not okay, or healthy. I went through that phase too.
Choosing Trust Over Comfort
While I sit and reflect, I’m not 100% certain what my new grand purpose is in this season. But I trust God. I know I am His, and I know that He is all good. As long as I trust Him and acknowledge Him, He will direct my path.
I know that doesn’t look like the landing crew that guides planes into the airport jetbridge, but I have His Word and I know ultimately I’m supposed to love Him and love others—so I have an outline of things I can do every day!
If I’m writing my daily lessons or musings and it helps one person to feel seen, heard, and keep going, then that’s plenty. I do miss our family and friends in Texas, and Texas itself, but I’m not sorry that I’ve gone through this. I’m already seeing how it has grown me and those around me, and specifically how it has grown my faith.
That’s reason and purpose enough for God to send us. Anything that draws you closer to Him—even if it hurts and is hard—is worth it and purpose enough. By becoming untethered, I find myself completely tethered to Him alone.
💬 Let’s keep the conversation going… Have you ever felt God untether you from something familiar? I’d love to hear your story. Share your thoughts in the comments or send me a message — I read every one. And if you want encouragement like this sent straight to your inbox, subscribe so you don’t miss a post.
Raychel Writes 