I don’t know if it’s just me, but this season feels extra full. Between family, my oldest son’s upcoming wedding (9 days! 😳), the holidays, and all the writing projects that have been stacking up, I’ve found it harder and harder to sit down and write here — in this space that started it all.
When I began blogging, it wasn’t for likes or algorithms; (still isn’t) it was a way of processing what God was teaching me in real time. Some of those raw reflections eventually became the foundation for Untethered: 30 Days of Pressing on in Hope & Obedience — a devotional born out of old blog posts and journal entries that carried me through one of the most refining seasons of my life.
Untethered isn’t long or complicated — it’s simple short devotionals, honest, and rooted in the same kind of conversations I have with God when life feels messy. But since its release on Amazon, my writing time has shifted. I’m still learning how to balance being a writer and a blogger — how to keep writing for publication without losing the heartbeat of why I started writing in the first place.
And honestly? That tension has been good for my soul. Because slowing down to write here reminds me that I don’t have to produce — I just have to be faithful.
A Season of Stillness (and Surrender)
In the middle of that busyness, I felt God nudging me to return to the basics — to the quiet practice of slowing down and listening again. Out of that came Stillness with the Savior, a 24-day guided Scripture journal through the book of Luke.
Every December, our family reads one chapter of Luke each day from December 1–24, walking through the story of Jesus’ birth and life leading up to Christmas. It’s become one of my favorite traditions — a way to remind ourselves that Christmas isn’t about the rush, but about Emmanuel — God with us. From birth to resurrection.
Stillness with the Savior grew out of that rhythm. It’s a space to pause, reflect, and put ink to paper as we internalize the truths of Scripture. While we use it during the Christmas season, the reflections are truly evergreen — perfect for any time you need to slow down and realign your heart with His.
Even when it’s hard to find time, I keep coming back to this little corner of the internet — because it’s where so much of what I write begins. This blog is my reminder that the process matters just as much as the product.
If you’ve been juggling your own projects, commitments, and chaos, take this as a gentle nudge: you don’t have to do it all. Just stay tethered to the One who called you in the first place.
Scripture makes it clear—what we say holds weight. Romans 10:9–10 tells us that “if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Our salvation itself is connected to both belief and confession. Words matter.
Jesus also emphasized this truth in Matthew 12:35 when He warned the Pharisees about blasphemy, (36) “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.” That’s sobering. Careless words aren’t harmless—they reveal the heart and have eternal consequences.
And think about His warning in Matthew 18:6: “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” For a long time, I thought He was talking strictly about children. But context makes it just as reasonable that He was speaking about anyone young in the faith. That makes me pause. My words can either encourage or discourage, point people to Christ or turn them away.
This hits especially close in today’s climate. With political debates, cultural battles, and everyday frustrations, it’s easy to let passion get the best of us. I’ve caught myself more than once speaking too quickly or too sharply. And while I may feel “justified” in the moment, the bigger question is: did I represent Christ well?
As Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 5:20, “we are ambassadors for Christ.” That means when people hear me speak—or read my posts online—they’re not just hearing Raychel. They’re also forming an impression of the Christ I claim to follow. That’s a heavy responsibility, but also a powerful opportunity.
Do our words really matter? Absolutely.
They matter to God.
They matter to those listening.
And they matter for the testimony of Christ.
Additional Scriptures on the Power of Words
Here are just a few reminders from God’s Word:
“Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.” — Psalm 34:13
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” — Proverbs 18:21
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” — Ephesians 4:29
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak,
slow to anger.” — James 1:19
“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” — Psalm 141:3
A Call to Action
Think about your words today. Are they pointing people toward Christ, or away from Him? Before you speak—or post—ask yourself: Does this reflect Jesus well? Words can build or break, bless or curse. Choose to use yours to shine His light.
A Prayer
Lord, set a guard over my mouth and keep watch over the door of my lips. Help me to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Let my words bring grace to those who hear and reflect the heart of Christ in every conversation. Amen.
There’s something about fall that feels like both a pause button and a reset button at the same time. The air gets a little crisper, the days a little shorter, and the colors around us seem to shout, change is coming.
Our family is standing in that same place right now—on the cusp of a new season. The bright colors of what’s ahead excite us. But here’s the reminder: there’s always work to do before you can fully step into the next.
Think about it.
Even while getting to enjoy fall’s beauty, you rake the leaves.
Before winter sets in, you put away the garden and pull out the coats.
Every season requires preparation.
Spiritually, it’s no different.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” That means the work of transition is holy too. It’s not wasted—it’s where God gets us ready.
For us, that looks like letting go of things that belonged to the last season and making room for what God is doing in the next. It means tightening our grip on gratitude, loosening our grip on control, and trusting that if He has brought us this far, He isn’t about to leave us now.
And isn’t that what Jesus modeled? He didn’t rush seasons—He embraced them. Luke 5:16 tells us that Jesus often withdrew to lonely places to pray. That was His way of preparing for the next step. If the Son of God needed those pauses, then maybe we do too.
So here’s my reminder to myself—and maybe to you too: the work of transition is worth it. On the other side is the joy of a new season.
Maybe that’s where you are right now—standing between what was and what’s about to be. Don’t despise the in-between. Prepare well, because what’s coming is good.
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” (Isaiah 43:19)
Friend, God is doing something new—in me, in my family, and in you. Let’s not miss it by rushing through the work of change. The season ahead is bright.
👉 What season of transition are you in right now? I’d love to hear how God is preparing you for what’s ahead.
Since I’ve been so brutally honest in this space about how I often feel about myself, let me just go ahead and share another secret:
This bears no reflection on the character or attributes of God—I’ll be the first to proclaim that He is good all the time, that His ways are higher, and that He is always right, even when I don’t understand.
But here’s the hard thing I wrestle with sometimes.
I get confused when I see people declare things boldly in faith, almost as if they’re entitled to blessing, like they can demand things from God just because they belong to Him. I know we are His. I know He loves us. But I often wonder… is that what faith is supposed to look like? It’s not what I see in the Scriptures.
That posture has never sat quite right with me. Because honestly, I don’t feel like I can ask God for more. He’s already done enough.
As a mom of two sons, I couldn’t imagine giving either of them up—especially knowing they’d suffer and die for things they didn’t do. Even if I knew they would rise in three days, I couldn’t bear it. But God? He did it. He gave His Son. And Jesus came willingly—a sacrifice to atone for my sin. For your sin. For all of us.
That’s why, when I say in my previous post that God thinks you’re worth dying for, this is what I mean. Not some feel-good slogan. But a love so big and sacrificial it defies understanding. A love that didn’t just feel something—it acted.
So how could I possibly ask for more?
I know what Scripture says about prayer. I’ve done the studies. I’ve read the books. I know that He welcomes us to come to Him—to pour out our hearts freely. And I do that. I’m so grateful that when I don’t have the words, the Holy Spirit intercedes for me. When all I have is a sigh or a tear, He knows exactly what it means.
But still… there’s this quiet hesitation in me when it comes to asking for anything more. It’s not about theology. It’s not about what’s true of God. It’s a me thing.
Do you ever feel like that too? Like salvation alone would be more than enough, and anything else feels like asking too much?
If that’s you, I see you. I am you.
But let’s remind each other today:
He already gave the most valuable thing—His Son.
And that same love says we’re welcome.
Not just to be saved.
But to be known.
To be heard.
To be cared for.
So even when it feels like too much to ask—
Let’s come boldly.
Not because we’re entitled.
But because He’s that good.
Let’s talk about it.
Have you ever wrestled with feeling like you shouldn’t ask God for more… even though you know He says you can?
Drop a comment, send me a message, or share this post with a friend who needs the reminder that He welcomes you—fully.
You are loved, seen, heard, and still invited to come.
I hate realizing I’ve gotten out of the habit of regular study—and then seeing that I’m spiraling because of it. How’s that for transparency and personal confession?
That’s where I’m at right now. I know my thought patterns haven’t been in alignment with God’s Word. And here’s how I know: anytime I start viewing a person—or group of people—as the enemy, regardless of what they did or how they acted, I’ve taken a wrong turn.
Because the enemy isn’t flesh and blood.
Ephesians 6:12
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.”
Study the Enemy’s Strategy
I’ve read (or more accurately, listened to) more military leadership and history books than I can count. And there’s one consistent thread in all of them: they study their enemy.
Surveillance. Intelligence. Patterns. Motivation.
They study past outcomes to prepare for what lies ahead.
And Scripture does the same for us.
The enemy is clearly identified and exposed in the light of God’s Word. If we want to stand firm—if we want to push forward into the light with our families, friends, teammates, coworkers, and everyone we encounter—we’d do well to study his methods.
John 10:10
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came so that they would have life, and have it abundantly.”
Satan’s playbook isn’t creative. He lies to steal our joy in Christ. He works to destroy relationships. He sows seeds of mistrust, bitterness, and division.
His endgame?
To sever our trust in God and convince us to doubt His promises.
The War Has Already Been Won
But we have a choice.
I, for one, refuse to aim at the wrong enemy. I refuse to participate in his mission through unforgiveness, accusation, or distraction. He may win some skirmishes here and there, but I’ve read the end of the story:
Revelation 12:10
“Now the salvation, and the power, and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down, the one who accuses them before our God day and night.”
He doesn’t win the war.
So I’m putting on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:10–20), and with the power of the Holy Spirit, I’m not giving him an inch of ground I can defend. I’m digging in—because:
John 15:13
“Greater love has no one than this, that a person will lay down his life for his friends.”
When Worship Becomes Warfare
Last night, my entire family and I attended the Summer Worship Nights concert with Phil Wickham, Brandon Lake, and Josiah Queen.
And when Phil sang “Battle Belongs”—a song that’s become the anthem of my last six months—I stood with my hands lifted and tears streaming down my face.
“So when I fight, I’ll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God, the battle belongs to You.”
– Phil Wickham, “Battle Belongs”
In that moment, I was reminded:
I don’t have to fight this battle alone. I never have.
Worship is warfare.
And when we kneel in surrender, heaven stands in victory.
📖 Why I Created This Bible Study Companion Guide — A Resource to Help You Know and Love God Through His Word
There’s a quiet joy that comes from sitting with an open Bible, heart ready, pen in hand—seeking not just knowledge, but God Himself. For years, I’ve have strived to study the Bible more deeply and faithfully, to see not just verses, but truth—God’s character, His promises, His purposes for the world and for me.
But let’s be honest: studying the Bible can feel overwhelming. Where do I begin? How do I know I’m interpreting this correctly? What does this actually mean? And how does it apply to my life?
These are the questions I’ve asked countless times. And they’re exactly why I created this printable Bible Study Companion Guide—a simple, clear set of questions and reminders that I’ve personally found helpful every time I open Scripture.
After reading two books that have deeply impacted the way I approach the Bible—
Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin, which offers a clear, accessible method rooted in knowing God first,
And 40 Questions About Interpreting the Bible by Robert Plummer, a seminary-level book I first encountered during my theological studies—
—I found myself wanting something concise and practical that I could return to regularly. Not just for me, but for my kids, and a few friends who had also expressed a desire to study Scripture with more confidence and depth.
I asked ChatGPT to help me take the heart and wisdom of these two resources and distill them into a brief guide—something printable, simple, and rooted in sound interpretation principles.
💡 Why This Guide Matters
Every passage of Scripture is part of a bigger story—and when we understand that story, we begin to see God more clearly. This guide is not a rigid formula but a compass—something to reorient our hearts and minds as we read.
You’ll find thoughtful questions like:
“What does this reveal about God?”
“What’s the historical or literary context here?”
“How does this passage fit into the big picture of the Bible?”
By asking these questions, we begin to slow down. We move beyond quick devotionals or isolated verses, and we step into real study. We let the Word shape us, instead of shaping it to fit us.
📄 What’s Inside the PDF
The guide is designed to be printable, shareable, and easy to use—perfect for individuals, families, and small groups. Whether you’re a seminary grad or just starting out, this tool can meet you where you are.
Inside, you’ll find:
Core principles to keep in mind before you begin
Key interpretive questions for every passage
Practical study reminders to avoid common mistakes
A short closing prayer to center your heart on God
It’s the kind of tool you can use every time you open your Bible—and one I hope my own kids will carry with them for years to come.
🤝 A Gift
I created this because I needed it. I still need it. And I wanted to share it because the Word of God is for all of us—not just pastors, not just scholars, but every single follower of Jesus.
If it helps you or someone you love see God more clearly, love Him more deeply, and obey Him more joyfully, then it’s done its job.
So feel free to print it. Share it. Use it with your small group, your kids, your journal, your church. Let it serve you the way it’s served me.
May we be people who study the Word not to master it, but to be mastered by the God who speaks through it.
Shaun and I have always enjoyed the wild outdoors. We have always challenged ourselves to do hard things that push our bodies to our limits. Now in our forties and on the cusp of being empty nesters, instead of going easy and planning things to do that require less effort, we went the opposite way. Prior to obtaining horses for hunting and packing purposes we walked all those miles on our feet with our packs strapped to our backs. As we got older, we thought taking it easier was the answer, but we’ve quickly observed the error of our ways, both in ourselves and others who are much older and still incredibly active. We have chosen to be like them when we grow up as activeness seems to preserve!
So, we decided to pick backpacking back up, but far more seriously this time! I took it like a job, researching all the new developments since last we backpacked and how we could cut ounces with specific equipment which added together cuts pounds. We began to collect equipment, specific reviews on some of those to come later, and map our loop in Shenandoah National Park which boasts over 500 miles of hiking trails.
There’s a meme floating around social media somewhere that says something to the effect of, “into the forest we go to lose our minds and find our soul.” For Shaun and I, that couldn’t be more accurate, I’m not sure if Tristan would feel the same, I’ve learned he’s going to speak for himself regardless of anyone else’s observation of him.
After two weeks of collecting supplies, and practicing with our packs, footwear, clothing, tent, food, and anything else I could think to research to death, we loaded up and headed out Friday evening on what would be another in our list of grand adventures. Permits bought and entries paid, we eventually arrived at the Patterson trail heading DOWN towards Big Run. The first thing that arrested our attention and our feet was the beauty of the blooming Mountain Laurels, they continued to capture our attention the entire trip as they decorated the landscape with their intricate design. It was those delicate flowers that first turned our thoughts upward to marvel at our Creator and set a tone of awe in praise in our minds.
As we continued to walk, I began to identify trees even with the occasional scientific name popping into my mind which I thought was long forgotten. That turned my thoughts to my beloved professor, Dr. Michael S. Fountain, who taught me far more than dendrology and silviculture, although as I quizzed Shaun and Tristan, I could see he had certainly done that too. It was in those woods I finally dealt with his recent passing and reflected on him fondly, and hopefully made him proud. An approving smile from that man is better than the grade. I realized how much I missed the outdoors as it was previously a nearly everyday part of life for us.
About 3 or so miles in we had descended to the river and left the trail, stripping our socks and shoes to walk in the cool water. We shared our refreshing respite with a young coon searching the bank for a snack in the shade on the opposite side. The water was cool and refreshing, both to our feet and our bellies. We employed 3 different water filtering systems which we had individually packed in to determine which was the most convenient. Personally, I think my Sawyer takes the win!
By this time there were no outside world noises, no cell service, no car noise or sirens, no crowds, just us and the wild! We walked along that river nearly 3 more miles before we made camp, getting to observe a turkey hen and her brood of chicks who crossed and scattered directly in front of us. We observed many deer and a deer and her fawn browsing upon the lush vegetation. We lost all of the outside world and immersed ourselves in our surroundings making camp in a bend of the river near a series of small waterfalls that lulled Shaun to sleep faster than a box fan could ever hope to accomplish. We explored the bends, the rocks and cliffs, we observed the birds, the bugs, and the canvas of sunset from our backs on the forest floor looking up through the canopy of poplar, occasional pine, birch, hickory, and sycamore. Shaun made sassafras tea, which smells like root beer, and we read books and listened to the roar of the water. We were still, we were in the moment, at rest and peace, feeling the slight strain in our muscles from the steep descent and the weight of our packs.
The next morning was much of the same, we awoke to the splendor of God’s creation singing its morning song. We packed up camp back into our packs, altered our route to come out a little earlier and avoid the storms that night and began our winding ascent. We were again arrested by the beauty of the mountain laurels which we discovered smell as wonderful as they look and certainly far better than us. Our legs were screaming by the time we finally topped out, but so were our souls. The views were incredible and the splendor restorative. There was no doubt in my mind that God has, in fact, made known His existence through creation as Paul wrote in Romans chapter 1.
Relaxation isn’t always laying around resting, for us, very often, its trying to find the limits of our body as we take in the splendor of creation and listen to its song. Therapy isn’t always talking, sometimes it’s laying on the forest floor saying absolutely nothing at all!
I’m tagging along on a business trip with my hubs because he’s going to be relatively close to a good friend I haven’t seen in ages! As we do when he and I are on roadtrips, we picked a book to listen to. I had downloaded Jon Acuff’s “All You Need Is A Goal,” since it had been referred to me by my bestie.
There’s the link in case you’d like to get your own copy, I do earn commissions from Amazon from my referral links.
Anyhow, the first exercise he instructs readers to do is create a best moments list. He goes on to list some of his own best moments as well as others so there are ample examples of what those could look like. He even talks about the difficulty in focusing on yourself enough to call attention to some of your accomplishments as you recognize them as best moments. Not all best moments are accomplishments. Later you’ll categorize these moments into 4 different categories: experience, accomplishments, relationship, & objects.
This will not be a book review, it’s the doing of this exercise that captured my attention from a mental health standpoint.
As Shaun and I began to form our lists audibly calling out loud our best moments and reminiscing there were tears, smiles, laughter and joy. Jon said the 40’s hit a little different and are characterized by self reflection which I find to be true.
Today has been a gray day and it sputtered rain off and on all day. This is the typical kind of day that usually gets me down and blue, but this exercise made me really focus on so many of the good and wonderful moments I’ve had in my life. It’s very difficult to be gloomy when you’re focusing on those moments and literally writing them down on a piece of paper that you can stare at. It’s very difficult to ignore the truth you’re very plainly listing out and continue in false and dark thoughts attempting to consume your mind.
I listed things like
-meeting my husband,
-getting to be pregnant 3 times
-having 3 beautiful babies!
-The sound of our children’s laughter even as adults especially when we’re all together.
-Our first trip to CO and every trip since that allowed us to meet some of the most incredible people who have become family and not just friends.
-Specific hunts
-our Little Buddy
-Frankie the Tortoise
-church camp 2018
-publishing my first book!
-and so on!
My list is soooooo long and it’s hard for me to continue to be blue with all of these clearly wonderful moments staring at my face! This will be an exercise I employ when I feel myself being blue, and it’s one you can use too.
As a believer, I have long known the expression “count your blessings” which makes me think of the song and then the following lyric “name the one by one.” This isn’t a new tactic, clearly it’s been in use awhile!
Further, I’ve long learned to employ the verse about taking my thoughts captive in 2Corinthians 10:5 and forcing them to be obedient to the will of a Christ. To turn them from gloom and despair to what Paul suggested us to focus on in his letter to the Philippians,
Philippians 4:8 (NASB95): Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.
Sometimes hearing that and doing it are two separate battles and trying to use it to reprogram your thought processes can be just as tough. This exercise however, is a simple one that set me on the right path today. I know that all good things come from my Father above, so if I’m listing out blessings, that’s focusing on lovely things that are worthy of praising our Father about.
If you’re struggling with depression, what could it hurt to grab a pen and paper and start listing some of your best moments, any favorite memory. You’ll see that the truth, and what you’re feeling, aren’t in alignment right now and you need to continue to focus on these “bests” to have them help you reprogram your “stinkin thinkin.” This worked for my stinkin thinkin today!!
The next book I listen to will be “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” by Joseph Nguyen https://amzn.to/3OeRJHE and I’ll see if there’s anything practical and helpful I can use and share with others in there!
I am definitely not the inventor of that phrase but it’s so very true. It’s a lesson that has taken me way into my adult years to learn where it applies to myself, but I have no trouble seeing the beautiful masterpieces other self-proclaimed broken people color with their lives. More specifically, one of my favorite things to do is to help others see the masterpieces they have painted or are still capable of painting through their brokenness as they cling to God. They literally paint the survival guide for someone going through the same thing. While I see this beauty in others, I often have a tough time recognizing it in myself. Just the other day I encouraged a friend who was struggling with his brokenness with the same words of this title. But 2 weeks later while I was having a pity party, I protested to my husband about my uselessness because I’m broken!
Sidenote
* Ya’ll should probably pray for him because while we are all saints as believers in Christ (1Corinth 1:2) this man is like a hyper saint, just saying.
This is not something our boys have ever struggled with. They’ve learned this lesson and demonstrated it to me on more than one occasion, two that still bring tears to my eyes. We had been to the zoo and on a rare splurge each of the kids selected an overpriced animal from the gift shop. They were young, Tristan, our youngest, was probably 5 or 6 years old. Later in the year we discovered one of the dogs had used one of the back legs of T’s warthog as a chew toy and it was badly mangled. While headed on my way to throw him in the trash, Tristan took off to the bathroom asking if we had any band aids. Instead of throwing him out, Tristan’s first thought was to heal or bandage what was broken. When he realized I was about throw the wart hog away he was incredulous and took him from my hands with tears in his eyes as he said, “if I was wounded would you just throw me out?” …..and the Oscar goes to….TRISTAN. However, Tristan is now 16 and we still have that warthog with medical tape on his back leg which I dutifully applied through tears!
As I sit here unpacking Christmas ornaments, I came across what has become the mascot for our tree and truthfully my life. Frist of all, I am not allowed to do our main tree as a fancy themed tree. I did this one year and was so proud of myself and even had a few people comment about how it looked like it belonged to a department store. My kids HATED it, they prefer our crazy ornaments collected throughout the years that hold special memories and sentimental value. Deep down I agree with them. And so it is that the first ornament I unpacked this year would be the glass dinosaur with the band aid on his bum where his tail should be. Tristan went through a dinosaur stage as every little boy does and had received a treasured dino ornament for Christmas one year. Not wanting a repeat of the warthog guilt as even without a leg that warthog still dutifully snuggles, when we discovered the dino’s tail had broken off, I quickly set to work healing what was broken. That dino still looks beautiful on the tree and under our skilled hands we are able to place him in positions to shine without ever really noticing he’s broken.
This is our relationship with God the Father. We are all broken by our sin and the sufferings of this world wrought by ours and others sin (Rom 3:23). But in Christ we are new creations (2Corinthians 5:17). He starts a work in us that will be completed on the day Christ Jesus returns (Phil 1:6). Healing and restoration is a process for anyone, but we have a supernatural healer working on us who promises to stay right by our sides regardless of the path he calls us to walk (Psalm 23, Psalm 18.33). We have a supernatural strength inside us even in our weakness for when we are weak, Christ’s “grace is sufficient for us and His power is made perfect in weakness” (2Corinth 12:9). When Paul wrote Philippians 4:13 he wasn’t saying he could lift an SUV through Christ who strengthens him, or pass a test, win a game, get a promotion etc. He was talking about persevering through any season of life and any circumstance because of the power of Christ inside him, being content and joyful in seemingly unjoyful circumstances like prison and poverty, for Paul, because of our hope in our Savior Jesus Christ. When we are tethered to Jesus, regardless of our brokenness and hurt, be it physical or emotional we are broken crayons that can very much still color! We are that warthog with the bandaged leg and the dino with the bandaged bum, still useful to our Creator who is more than capable of healing our brokenness!
Please tell me you pronounced that title like it was said on “The Princess Bride”!? In all actuality I was wanting to stay in my horse world with horse thoughts, but I’m doing a zoom Bible study with a group of women about combatting lies we have believed with the truth found in the Word of God. This week was about???? You guessed it MAWAGE, or in case you haven’t seen “The Princess Bride”, (shame on you! LOL) marriage.
Coming from a broken home in a society where divorce is the norm I really never understood the symbolism of marriage. I understood that it was an important commitment to be taken seriously and except in cases of extreme exceptions, marriage is lifelong. I didn’t start to truly grasp the Biblical imagery of marriage until well over a decade into my marriage. Additionally, I carried and still catch myself carrying some unhealthy or incorrect thoughts, fears, and ideas about marriage. It is always when I come to the Word of God that I am able to see those imperfections and allow His Word to correct them and then act on them.
We understand the concepts of monogamy, and faithfulness that are true of a marriage, in Genesis 2:24 “husband and wife are joined together and become one flesh.” We even see the Old Testament prophets (specifically Hosea)compare God’s people to a wife cheating on her husband, God.
Often, we incorrectly think marriage means one or the other spouse loses their individuality. This was especially true in my case when well-intentioned people taught me what is required of me to be a Godly wife and explained the expectation of submissiveness citing Ephesians 5:22. Under their tutelage my life would now revolve around my husband and I would care for his every need, clean the house, wash the clothes, raise the children, make myself available to him and serve him. Under instruction like that, I was basically walking rebellion looking for a place to happen. If you look at that entire passage and unpack the rest of it and back up to Ephesians 4:15-16 as well, you understand that “as husbands are to be the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything,” we are really talking about leadership and so much more. Unpack that whole passage from Eph 5:22 down to verse 33 and sprinkle in Eph 4!
Ephesians 5:22-33New American Standard Bible 1995
Marriage Like Christ and the Church
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church [a]in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she [b]respects her husband.
Understanding God’s attributes also helps us to better understand the relationship between husband and wife as we submit to the authority of God. We know that God is needless, and is not served by human hands according to Acts 17:25. We also know that according to Psalm 145:8-9 that He is gracious, merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and good to all. In the passage in Ephesians 5 above, we see evidence of the husband’s responsibility to exhibit characteristics of these attributes, and trust me, a man like that is easy to follow! The body of Christ has Christ as the head, the leader. So a wife should be inclined to follow the husband’s leadership. John Piper uses “the inclination to yield or a disposition to follow because no subjection to another human is absolute. The husband does not replace Christ as the woman’s supreme authority.” Humans, including our husbands, are sinful and we should never follow them into sin. This is certainly building the picture of a relationship between husband and wife that because I love and trust him, I want to follow him while understanding we are both in subjection to God as we together follow Him.
Interesting, now we’re getting somewhere I’m on board with going. This is painting a picture of God’s relationship with His people, the church, believers in Christ Jesus as Savior and Lord. Just as God allowed the use of the different individual writing styles of the men who penned the 66 books of the Bible as the Holy Spirit led, being in submission to God or our husband’s doesn’t mean we lose our individuality nor are we becoming their nanny as if they aren’t capable of doing anything for themselves. We are all members of one body, but all do not have the same function, yet all are needed for the body to be complete and effective. Just as members of the body are gifted with certain spiritual giftings to be used to serve and make the body of Christ stronger and more effective, I also have individual and specific traits that when paired with my husband make our partnership better, capable of more than we could each achieve separately. The hand may bring food to the mouth, and the mouth may chew, but the nutrients never get used in the body without the digestive system. All of these parts are needed to work in their individual ways collectively to accomplish a main goal. While I have had the great privilege of being able to stay home with our kids and start my own business while my hubby works outside the home, I do end up doing most of the housework, childcare, and a lot of the cooking, but make no mistake, my hubby is capable of doing all of those things too and does as do our kids. He doesn’t do them to “help me out,” he does them because he lives here too, and we together had children and we all collectively make the messes so we all collectively clean them up.
For years I compared myself to women I held on a pedestal of being the perfect submissive wives with their clean houses and washed folded, and put away laundry, their organizing gadgets, and their calm, gentle and quiet ways with everyone. I tend to be a little louder, and sometimes too opinionated, I don’t think mating socks should ever have been a thing, and I like tidy, but I also prefer our home look like we live there, and you can feel comfortable relaxing there too. I have always been what others previously called a tomboy, I prefer the outside to the inside and when I am inside, I like to bring the outside in with me, so it doesn’t feel quite so inside. I love so many of the things the boys love, hunting, fishing, muscle cars and tough trucks, baseball, shooting, and don’t mind competing with them to prove it, since birth ya’ll. All of these things together made me feel like I’d never be the perfect organized, decorative, clean freak, soft-spoken, timid, servant and prayer warrior of wife that I thought I had to be. All I can say now is, THANK GOD I’M NOT what I thought I was supposed to be. Those women are absolutely what THEIR husbands need, and they are slaying what God called them to do inside THEIR giftings for THEIR families.
My husband needed all of the things I thought were wrong about me as well as being a servant of Christ and prayer warrior! He’s needed an actual warrior at times to stand beside him and wield a sword and he’s needed me to stand in front and shield him when he’s needed to catch a breath. My kids, all believers, have been made Holy through the blood of Christ, but they are also a little hood! So sometimes I have to break out my hood side and set things straight! We’re a little hood and holy! I honestly think if I was less Jael and more Esther or Naomi like, that I wouldn’t have been capable of being up to the task of being Shaun’s help mate! The way God made me wasn’t a mistake and I’m not some rebellious jezebel, which I have actually been called, bless her heart, I know she meant well. I’m definitely a sinner who needed a Savior and I’m in definite need of staying in the Word of God and asking forgiveness when I realize I have behaved in a way that is contrary to God’s will, but I was uniquely made by Him for MY race and MY family so I have different strengths and talents than other women who need what God gifted THEM with for THEIR families and THEIR RACE.
You may be feeling some of these same things too. I’ve talked with many a woman who doesn’t understand why she was made a certain way instead of like some other lady whom she clearly admires. I can assure you; I’ve been there, and comparison is a joy thief and, in this case, a great way the enemy attacks and whoops up on us or lets us whoop up on ourselves! I can also assure you that God does not make mistakes, He is perfect the Bible says so in Matthew 5:48. As long as you are following Him and yielding to His leadership your fierceness, timidity, or insert any adjective that obviously does not contradict the word of God, meaning it is not sinful. Those qualities about you are exactly the way you are supposed to be for YOUR race as you pursue Christ and use your uniqueness to help both the body of Christ be more effective as well as your marriage while you use them in your role as wife and bondservant of Christ!
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Raychel Writes 