Tag: education

Living Untethered from Regret

January 27th, 2023

I’ve never seen the movie, but I’ve seen clips from a movie with Jennifer Anniston where her daughter brings home a guy with a tattoo on his chest that says, “NO RAGRETS”, and the dad in the movie says something to the effect of, “you really have no regrets, not even one little letter?” For some reason I find that hysterical and while I’ve never actually watched the movie, we quote that scene playfully often!

The truth is we all have regrets, we all have things we wish we would have done or said differently. For some odd reason these memories pop up at the oddest times and when you reflect on them, sometimes from a much more mature season of life, you can see the trouble whatever action it was caused for you or your reputation and how it had long lasting effects. I was pondering on just that sort of memory this morning, (showers, walks in the sunshine and time in the saddle will make me do that) regretting my young self’s decision-making process.

Photo by Arvind shakya on Pexels.com

Today I can look back and understand the “why” behind some of my poor decisions, but it still doesn’t make me regret them any less. I have always had the desire to be included, liked, and accepted. A lot of people do, I’m not alone in that, my desire and the fact that I had moved around so much and always felt like an outsider drove me to make great effort to fit in. Sadly, it was often to the detriment of my character or reputation. For some reason this morning I remembered being around a group of kids in junior high or early high school and because, of the nature of the conversation that was going on and my desire to fit in and be one of them, telling some filthy jokes I had overheard from some adults and using incredibly course and foul language. Ordinarily, I would never speak like that but in that moment and others I did, and it began to shape my peers’ mental model of me and the type of person I was even though it was far from how I really was inside. Today, I’m utterly repulsed by the entire exchange and definitely disappointed in myself. There have been other poor decisions and many more regrets since then, but I started thinking this morning, what if, as a kid, I really took 1Corinthians 10:31 seriously and ran every thought or action through the filter of, “would this please the Lord and glorify Him?” If so, I could be living a life with no regrets.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
1Corinthians 10:31 NASB95

I’ve already mentioned my love for the internal consistency of the Bible, so you might expect that’s not the only verse that encourages Godly living, it’s just a short easy to remember one. In our house in Texas when the kids were all in elementary school, we used a “classroom” type setting and had a little classroom set up for school each day. I had Psalms 34:13 hung on the wall which read, “keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.” I also had 1 Corinthians 10:5 about taking your thoughts captive and conforming them to the will of Christ, hanging on the wall as well as Philippians 4:8 about what to focus on instead, which I think also pairs really well with the following verse of Psalm 34 verse 14 which says, “turn from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it.” This was in a great effort to hide God’s word in my kiddos’ hearts, and mine too, and encourage Godly living.

Here’s the kicker I thought about this morning. I have often been a fan of teaching my kids “the why”, sometimes I wish I had not, now and even as they began to get a little older, they always excepted “the why” behind whatever it was I told them to do. We had to work out that upon occasion I just needed them to obey quickly, and trust that I’d get to “the why” later. A lesson I wish I had learned when I was younger in regard to obeying God’s word in the now and letting Him bring understanding later. But here’s the deal, there are a lot of us that have lived through a few things, and we do understand “the why” about those things so why aren’t we spelling it out for the younger generation? Youth are willing to listen, all teenagers aren’t rebellious rabble rousers regardless of the impression they give, some of the deepest most insightful conversations I have had the pleasure of having, which better helped me understand the struggles youth face while navigating our ever-changing, tumultuous world have been from those very same “trouble making” youth!

I really think if someone had sat down with me and told me that the things I chose to say and not to say, and the activities I chose to participate in or not to participate in were going to build my reputation and other’s mental models of me, and that it could either help me or hurt me, I might have tried a little harder, especially if they had pointed me to God’s word and explained that it has less to do with your reputation and external validation from others and more to do with God’s reputation as you are a professing Christain, made in His image (Gen 1:26) and an ambassador for Christ (2Corinthians 5:20, Eph 6:20). Also let me add Malachi 2:7 which is referring to the lips of the priest and how he is a messenger of the Lord of hosts..ie ambassador.. (pre incarnate Christ..before Christ’s birth, death, burial, and resurrection), now (after Christ) we (all believers of every tribe and tongue) are a kingdom of priests (1Peter 2:9, Rev1:6) ambassadors for Christ, to share His message! Ya’ll this is good stuff!!!! What we do and say and choose not to do and say is important if we have truly surrendered to follow Christ as Lord of our lives. This doesn’t just apply on Sunday and Wednesday and church functions, this is anytime, anywhere, anyplace….. work, school, inside the closed doors of your home, your bedroom, your phone, etc. because Jesus is Lord at all of those times, and you should be making decisions in all of those places with that in mind. It’s about representing Christ rightly through our lives as ambassadors for Him so that others will be drawn to Him as a result, therefore, it’s about His reputation. More than one person has been turned away from “Christianity” because someone claiming to be Christian didn’t act Christ like. Represent well, it actually does matter.

If I had only grasped that younger, I could have lived a life untethered to regret. However, when we confess our sins to the Lord he is faithful to forgive us ( 1John 1:9) and separate them as far as the East is from the West(Psalm 103:12). So, while I do regret many of my actions, I sit here and type without condemnation of them because of Christ alone! (Rom 8:1) Sheesh, isn’t the Word of God literally ALL THA THINGS!!!!! Thank you Jesus!
Untethered Self Expression

January 26th, 2023

Based on the title it may sound like I intend to tell you to say whatever you want and do whatever you want without any regard for anything else…if that’s what you’re looking for you can stop now, we’re going left at Albuquerque!

Oh y’all are still with me! Blogging for me has been sort of crazy! It’s felt sort of therapeutic and it’s helped to release things in me that I guess I needed out plus, it’s made me “feel” creative.

If you know me, you know I’m creative but in very quirky ways. My mother on the other hand, can draw a master piece with a #2 pencil, as can my brother and at least 2 of my children and 2 of their cousins. Drawing, painting, decorating is not really my thing. I like to decorate with my “treasures” which consist of different types of pine cones from different species of pines, acorns from different species of oaks, sea shells, barnacles, coral and other sea treasure from our adventures to the coast, tumbleweeds, antlers, random cool rocks and pretty feathers. I also like glass as it holds and displays my many treasures! God has already created these things and they are so unique and beautiful.

Treasures

This brings me to the discussion I was having with a friend over coffee one day. She takes amazing pictures and can turn these pictures into incredible paintings. We surmised that the need to be creative and to create things is innate. That when God said, “Let us make man in our image,” in Genesis 1:26 that being creative is part of that image in which we were made because we were created by the Master Creator. Don’t think I’m jumping off the deep end I’m just saying it is an incredible outlet that fuels rejuvenation for a lot of people and seems to be a natural impulse or compulsion even if you don’t recognize that’s what you’re doing!

After a long day of school work my son, Tristan, often escapes out to his forge and creates some really cool things out there with metal, usually knives. He also loves to build/create on Minecraft! My husband loves working with his hands and loves to create/build/design things that are useful to others, sometimes just aesthetics like the set of rings he made a group of us for Christmas one year, and sometimes entire machines that aid his teammates on the job. I have a friend who makes the most amazing cards for different occasions that you could ever dream up, and my daughter, Gracie, doodles things that should probably be sold on greeting cards and stationary! Some people write and sing music or poetry, books, or short stories….or blogs! Blogging is a way I am able to express my desire to create. It helps me process the thoughts in my mind and organize all the crazy running around up there!

I put off writing a blog or a book for years because I was scared of how people would respond and honestly, that I’d look or say something dumb. I think that’s probably inevitable, but I’m not afraid of it any more. I had a friend tell me one time that there was an “idiot seat” at every table and at some point everyone takes a turn in it! The trick is, once you realize it was your turn and you’re the one sitting there, you learn from it and don’t camp out! That kind of thinking untethered me from thoughts of failure to the point of not even trying, and tethered me to growth. Wesley, my oldest son, had an MMA coach that taught his students “we don’t lose, we learn.” Being able to untether myself from fear of rejection and failure, and tether myself to growth and learning gave me the courage I needed to be creative, and it’s helped me feel so much more balanced! What about you? How is it that you love to be creative?
Untethered Obedience

January 25th, 2023

Several years ago, my husband discovered Inky Johnson’s testimony, and it was so powerful that we ended up showing it to our youth at the time. We quote so many things from Inky but one of the things that has been especially moving to me has been his view on commitment. He quoted Orebela Gbenga’s definition which says, “Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you.” That’s so powerful, and it’s so true. I mean just think about your exercise schedule. I’ll be honest and say the me who makes the exercise plan in the evening is not the same me who wakes up to execute it the next morning. I’m “feeling” it at 9 in the evening, but when that next day comes, I find that I’m not nearly as loyal to those plans!

When seasons of your life change, it can be the same with your faith, or in the interest of full transparency, it is with mine. I’m not the biggest fan of major change I have discovered. As God transitioned us from the last season to this season, part of me was excited for new adventures, but another part was anxious and not crazy about that being permanent or all little things that would change in big ways as a result. I remember one of Shaun’s teammates asking me, “are you ready for this?” and my response being, “I don’t always agree with God, but I do always have to be obedient to Him.”

We had bathed this decision in prayer and while we knew it was going to be a difficult one, we also genuinely believed it was what God was affirming we should do. Shaun more than me because that meant leaving a child (granted he was nearly 20 but still) behind. Shaun was positive and I wasn’t sure, but as the spiritual head of our household, I trust Shaun and we submit to God together. And…. so we took that step of faith. In a lot of ways, it was exciting, and we’ve gotten to experience some really awesome things, but there have also been some really tough, really not so good very bad days and more tears than I could count. It’s those days that test your commitment to being obedient.

Sometimes you just have to choo choo on and let obedience be the engine and your feelings be the caboose. There’s some days I just don’t “feel” it, maybe because its difficult, maybe because it hurts, maybe because I’m tired, maybe because I’m lazy, but I still must respond to those days with the same level of commitment I “feel” on the good days when things are going swimmingly. I’ve experienced more than one day that I just wanted things to go back to the comfort and familiarity of the way they were, but I press on towards the goal and God gives me little affirmations (which I totally don’t deserve, and He doesn’t have to provide) along the way. Paul wrote in 1Corinthians Chapter 9:24-27 about self-discipline and running your race so as to obtain the prize.

I don’t know about ya’ll, but if I just hop up from this computer and go out to run a race I really hope the EMT’s are close! I have so much respect for runners and the way they train and are so self-disciplined so that they are able to run long distances. I’m sure they don’t always “feel” it, but they run anyway. This is the same with our obedience to Christ, it takes being self-disciplined on the days we don’t “feel” it to build a track record of obedience. Sometimes it takes becoming untethered to your feelings and tethered to that commitment you made to Christ to be obedient, and like Paul says, sometimes you have to beat your body into submission!
Comfort

January 24th, 2023

One of the coolest things I’ve personally gotten to see this past year was Niagra Falls. We spent several days there exploring both the Canadian side and the American side. No matter where you stand, the roar of that much water is unmistakable, powerful, and demands respect. In fact, we stayed in a hotel on the American side near the Falls and once I had seen the falls the first day, I knew the roar I was hearing at night while sleeping in the hotel was the falls. I’ll never forget that sound or that sight!

While studying Revelation, before Nancy Guthrie even mentioned it, when John described Jesus’ voice in verse 1:15, I was already thinking, unmistakable, powerful, worthy of awe and respect like Niagra Falls! In John 10:27 Jesus says his sheep know His voice, I thought about how that compared to me not knowing what the sound was the night before, and then having an encounter with Niagra Falls the next day and knowing exactly what that sound was the next night. It’s the same with Jesus.

This study of Revelation has been so wild for me. I have to admit that I approached Revelation with some definite presuppositions about what I thought it said. When I challenged myself to lay those aside and study it with these ladies anew, I’m finding so much comfort and peace….in apocalyptic literature! That sounds oxymoronic, but it’s true!

I had, and you may too, some presuppositions about Jesus. We’ve seen how the Old Testament points to a coming King, and we’ve seen the prophets prophesy about Him, we’ve seen Him come to Earth as a baby and seen his earthly ministry. We saw a humble servant, the Jews struggled with that, and I often allow my mind to picture him as a meek, suffering servant. The resurrected Jesus is that and so much more, and we need to allow that to shape how we think about Him.

There’s so much to the description of Jesus in Rev 1:12-18 that bears dwelling upon. The first thing that struck me after the sound of his voice, was his garments. One of my most favorite things about the Bible is its internal consistency, how from Genesis to Revelation there’s one giant metanarrative and more threads than one that connect into a rich, firm, theological tapestry. In Exodus there’s an exhaustive explanation of priestly garments that are to be made for the priests and High priest, who makes sacrifices in the Holy of Holies. We know that Jesus is our High Preist and that he gave His life as the final atoning sacrifice (Hebrews 4:14 and chapter 10). So when we see John describe Jesus’ garments, the high priestly garments, puzzle pieces just click into place! The sash doesn’t just indicate a High Priest, but the King! The hair of his head being white as snow is one and the same as Daniel’s description of the Ancient of Days in chapter 7. This is starting to build a picture of Jesus as he is now, as not only Savior, but King and just like one of those “as seen only on TV” commercials, BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE…. and you don’t even have to pay the extra shipping! John continues a description of Jesus that is worth dwelling on some more and adding to your mental model, but his reaction is the real kicker for me!

Remember back in John’s gospel in 13:23 when John is casually reclining(chillin) next to Jesus. They were close friends, John KNEW Jesus and felt comfortable with him, the Bible described John as the disciple whom Jesus loved, yet John’s response to seeing the resurrected King? He fell on his face as if he were dead and Jesus reached out and laid his right hand upon John and said,

“……Do not be afraid; I am the first and the last, and behold, I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of death and of Hades.”
Jesus- Revelation 1:17-18

Bruh! Can you imagine!? John sees something different about Jesus and so should we! What a comfort for Jesus to lovingly reach out and touch John, and then to speak and say so much in so few words! An I AM statement affirming He is God, but to say I was dead, I took possession of the keys of death and hades, and I am alive forever more controlling the when, and the who of death, hades and Heaven. I’ve counseled kids and adults alike after they’ve lost someone, sometimes not in their old age but suddenly and unexpectedly. Often the concern in our despair is, was it too soon? We know it wasn’t, because whoever has the keys opens the door and He’s never surprised by the timing even if we are. No loved one has ever gone too early or somewhere they weren’t supposed to because Jesus himself is there opening doors and giving access. That is an incredible comfort to me as I’m sure it was to John who, at that time, was exiled on the island of Patmos, presumably to die, but Jesus said only when I open the door! What a comfort to those in Christ! I find so much comfort in untethering myself from my presuppositions and tethering myself to the truth of God’s Word and our Savior and King, Jesus Christ.
Fear of the Unknown

January 23rd, 2023

I experience major trepidation when encountering things I know little about or things I am unfamiliar with. See my previous blog which mentions my irritation of driving in an unfamiliar town after moving. I get major anxiety sometimes, and sometimes, when possible, I try to avoid the situation all together. Often when I’m invited to a new restaurant, I will look up the menu ahead of time so I can prepare myself to order before I ever set foot in the restaurant. Sometimes I know whatever it is, it is necessary to muster up the courage and just get through it even if I bumble through it. I’ve talked to plenty of other women who have experienced the same or similar things.

Having been a firearms instructor for 10 years and owned my own gun shop and training center, I have had tons of clients who have come in with a major fear of firearms, so much so that they have avoided them at all costs. I have had the opportunity to educate so many people by teaching them proper nomenclature, parts of a firearm and their functions, as well as how to safely operate those firearms. Usually, there’s this beautiful moment in a class or private lesson where I can almost see the weight and tension slide off client because they finally understand how the firearm works and why and how to safely use it. Thier trepidation had little to do with the actual firearm and more to do with a fear of the unknown and possibly hurting themselves or someone else in their ignorance.

I recently experienced this in my own life, with a book of all things! I mentioned I had been to seminary and when I walked across that stage and received my Masters, one of the things that I had learned was that I didn’t know ALL the things! One such thing I felt incredibly underconfident in teaching or understanding any more than the basic facts about was the book of Revelation. So, like any reasonable person would do, I avoided it! I mean there’s 65 other books in the Bible that I feel a whole lot more comfortable with, this ONE book isn’t THAT crucial right?! Except I say the entire Bible is the divinely inspired, inerrant, Word of God which has absolute authority….and I believe that…..so it’s super important to not leave any part of it out!

Prior to the Nancy Guthrie study, Blessed, which I mentioned in the “Loved” blog post, when I heard the word Revelation as referring to the book of the Bible, I instantly thought “apocalypse”. I could hear that bell hop from the Disney show, “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody” say, “Ahhhhhhhhhhh! This is a disaster,” in his thick Spanish accent. But God, two of my favorite words in the Bible, placed people in my life who encouraged me and were willing to sit down with me and take another look, and I’m so grateful. Now when I think of the book of Revelation, I rightly think “reveal”. Revelation is just a continuation of the other 65 books which reveals the person and work of Jesus Christ to us. It reveals how and who Jesus is now, prior to His second coming and gives us such comfort and relief, and as someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, I’m definitely wanting to untether myself from fear which causes my anxiety and tether myself to knowledge, especially through the revelation of Jesus Christ. It’s a no brainer now that I’m sitting here typing trying to articulate it, but if you know how anxiety works, you know it feels overwhelming at the time.

Don’t miss out on things just because you have a fear of the unknown, untether yourself from fear-based actions and tether yourself to study and education, and especially to the Word of God which is truly sufficient for all things. If you have trepidation over Revelation too, maybe sitting down with a copy of “Blessed” will help you untether yourself from the confusion and tether yourself more tightly to Jesus, our Savior and King.