One of my favorite series of quotes and the intention behind it comes from the movie, “The Help”.
You is Kind
You is Smart
You is Important
“The Help”
That’s something I think everyone wants to feel, like they are seen by someone else and have value, those three statements were made from a place of deep love for the development of someone they cared so deeply about. Nothing had been done to earn that “special treatment”, it was freely given, often is the case between a parent and an infant. Often, or in my experience, as we get older, and society begins to warp our thinking and sometimes the way we love others we fall into the trap of performance-based love.
I remember as a girl feeling like my parents loved me more if I made straight A’s or sat 1st chair in whichever band I was in. I’m sure that wasn’t really true as I have 3 kids of my own and love them whether they do amazing things or perfectly regular things or even bad things. I don’t love the bad things but I do love them. no matter what. I repeat the phrase, “there’s nothing you could ever do or say to make me not love you,” regularly.
We don’t always feel that way though, especially since the inventions of social media. We are in a terrible habit of feeling worthy and lovable when other people tell us we are through our likes and engagements on social platforms and external validation is what begins to shape what we believe about ourselves. This unfortunately effects our ability to receive feedback that could help us grow because rather than responding to it with an eagerness to learn and grow we perceive it as rejection and an attack that makes us feel unaccepted and unloved. I have definitely been guilty of this, and still am from time to time. Unfortunately, I have allowed myself to be affected so much by this external validation, and performance-based love that I have often had thoughts about why anyone would or does love me.
Recently, I was invited to join a virtual Bible study by a friend. First, just the act of being invited is such a loving, thoughtful thing, so thanks for that, friend, I will be sure to do the same for others! We are studying a Nancy Guthrie book called, “Blessed” over the book of Revelation in the Bible. As I worked diligently through the 1st set of lesson questions I was loving the style and structure which caused us to focus on the one giant metanarrative of the entire Bible which is God’s great love for us culminating in the gospel message of Jesus’ birth, death, burial, and resurrection. It all points to Jesus.
We were looking specifically at Revelation 1 verses 5-7 and discussing what it reveals to us about Jesus, about who he is, what he has done, and what he’s going to do.
“and from Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth. To Him who loves us and released us from our sis by His blood.”
Revelation 1:5 NASB95
The very next question instructed us to dwell upon one or two aspects of the previous question that were particularly meaningful to us. In full transparency and vulnerability, I wrote, “loved-because often enough I don’t “feel” like I’m worth loving or understand why anyone would love me.” Second, I wrote, ” released- words cannot describe how it feels to have Jesus take all your ugly/evil and pay the ultimate price of death for it without you doing a thing to earn it or deserve it and then still be able, but more than that willing and wanting, to look you in the eye knowing everything about you and still love you and want a relationship with you.” I couldn’t even type that without tearing up all over again. Jesus, my Savior and King of Kings, loves me that much and knows everything about me. This is true for you too.
Truthfully, I’m not sure my life would be at all the same or even be still happening if it wasn’t for someone being willing to share about Jesus and His great love for me and then a lot of someones discipling me so that I truly know that the ultimate authority on all things is God and the Word of God. What His word says is true regardless of what is going on in the world, and regardless of how I “feel”. When I read what His word says about me, since I am in Christ, because I value it as the ultimate authority, regardless of how I feel, I find I can face tomorrow. (If you know me personally you know that just made me think of a song!) In Christ all that ugly/evil that I know about myself is no longer condemning because His word tells me that’s true,
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1 NASB95
Don’t forget to go back and read what the “therefore” is there for, the previous chapter talks about believers being united to Christ and then proceeds into the result being deliverance from bondage to sin. Isn’t that so comforting? Comfort is the opposite of what I feel when I listen to the lies of the devil who seeks to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10). Unfortunately, he’s able to steal my joy and comfort with thoughts from inside my own head sometimes. It’s why Paul warned us to take every thought captive and conform it to the will of Christ in 2Corinthians 10:5 and told us to focus on whatever is true, pure, lovely, and holy in Philippians 4:8. I have to untether myself from the thoughts and opinions of others, and sometimes from my own thoughts and opinions of myself, and tether myself to what God’s word says about me in Christ. This may be true for you too. Even when I don’t “feel” it, “I will praise Him because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14. I hope this draws you to God and His word and gives you the courage to live a life untethered to the lies of the world, the flesh, and the devil, and tethered to Jesus. Definitely reach out if you have questions!
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Raychel Writes 