Tag: christianity

Gurl Me TOO

February 2nd, 2023

So last blog I inundated ya’ll with a ton of Scripture and only part of a conversation Gracie and I had had, and not much context into the Scripture passage…believe it or not I could have written even more on that…but then it would have turned into WAY more than a blog…I won’t do that today! But, today’s blog is based on conversation too, several of them actually.

Often, I get in my own head, I’m an overthinker, that song that says, “it’s me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me” is so accurate when it comes to the source of my anxiety and stress. And before ya’ll get triggered, yes, I KNOW the Bible says to “not be anxious about anything but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”(Phil 4:6) I’m working on it ya’ll, I promise! If you deal with this mess, you know that you KNOW you have blessings and logically you can see truth and reason, but you have to hitch those feelings to your engine of obedience and fight through and force them to follow to get the train down the track because they just don’t want to get on board sometimes.

That’s exactly what this post is about actually, the “if you deal with this too.” One of the most eye-opening weeks I have had recently was joining my hubby on a work trip and getting to have lunch and adventure with several of the wives of his teammates. Every single one of them is in my position now or has gone through it recently. They understand the struggles because they’ve been through them. As we sat there and shared with one another and were honest, and vulnerable with each other I began to feel less alone and definitely like I had a support system of ladies who understood me. We kept saying, GURL ME TOO!

I had a similar conversation with friend this morning, the Lord had laid her on my heart on several occasions, so I just decided to text her and basically says, “hey gurl hey, you ok?” I mean that isn’t exactly how the conversation went down and I actually stopped and prayed for her and prayed for my reaching out to her but as we sat there and visited through text back and forth and discussed some of our struggles, we had a “me too” moment. We both felt seen and heard and were able to encourage one another and not feel like we were on islands by ourselves. Sometimes you just have to row on over to your friend’s island and see what they have going on that you can get into with them or help them with! Truthfully, its biblical. We weren’t meant to do all of this alone. In fact, alone is the place where you’re easiest to pick off, just like those animals the lions, hyenas, and leopards go after. They don’t get the ones in the middle of the group, they get the isolated ones. We truly are better together.

My friend this morning reminded me of a Harry Potter quote that I had just watched, she said it’s just like when Luna Lovegood tells Harry, “Well if I were “You-Know-Who,” I’d want you to feel cut off from everyone else, because if it’s just you alone, you’re not as much of a threat.” Ummm exactly, this is exactly the kind of tactic the devil will employ! What does God’s word say?

This is exactly what groups like MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) is about. I remember being a young mother of young children and feeling so alone and like I was the only one struggling with all the things I was. I spoke at a MOPS meeting before, but my message wasn’t the beauty of MOPS, I don’t know if I added any real value at all, the beauty of that meeting was seeing all of those mothers leaning into each other and having, GURL ME TOO, moments and leaning into the Lord and encouraging one another.

I was thumbing through Charlie Mackesy’s book, “The boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse” this morning. They had some, girl me too, moments too. One of which I’ll share from the book below.

When we open up to each other and get vulnerable and honest with each other, we connect and are able to share each other’s loads and not feel alone.

As a society we have incorrectly associated vulnerability as a weakness. Quite the opposite is true, Brene Brown has some of the best dialogue I’ve seen when it comes to being vulnerable, here’s a snapshot of some of her quotes,

In order to have “gurl me too” moments and to truly connect with each other and support each other we have to untether from vulnerability as a weakness and have the courage to be vulnerable with each other. Granted, some measure of consideration into wise counsel should be given, especially given the nature about what you are about to divulge. But find your people and jump into the trench with them. Be an encouragement to them and let them know they are not alone, let them encourage you! When we recognize we are all broken crayons that can still color, we acknowledge our brokenness and our weaknesses and let God do what only he can do! God’s grace is sufficient for you, his strength (which is infinite) is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinth 12:9) It takes bringing your broken pieces to the Lord and coloring with them anyway so he can oversee the masterpiece that’s the big picture of what all those broken pieces are coloring together!
You are Not Your Own

February 1st, 2023

I LOVED my kids when they were babies, I LOVED them when they were toddlers and when they were preteens too. One of the stages of life you rarely hear parents say they loved is their teen years, but I’m happy to report that I have LOVED that stage too. There have been different aspects of each stage to treasure, I think one of the most fun stages has been their teenage and young adult years. They are now big enough and coordinated enough to adventure with and we have certainly done our fair share of adventuring, but they are also really developing into adults with their own opinions and beliefs about the world around them and we get to have some amazing conversations.

Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi on Pexels.com

Very often, as it was today, our conversations are prompted by their discussion topics on their dual credit and college courses. We have an in-person discussion as they word their thoughts so they can type them up and post them for their classes. Gracie, working in her Theology class, was studying moralistic therapeutic deism and preparing to evaluate society from her viewpoint to ascertain if she thought today’s society was representative of it or not. Those are definitely college words! Liberty never disappoints! So, what is that and what did she decide, and we discuss?

According to her professor, moralistic therapeutic deism would be, being a good moral person, feeling good about oneself, feeling good, secure, and at peace, and with regard to deism not about repentance, obedience, or suffering and seeing God as being far away, absent. This emerged from a book called “Soul Searching” in 2005. Do we see this in society today? Both mine and Gracie’s responses were yes, we see a constant stream of quotes and memes encouraging people to put themselves first, to do whatever makes them happy. I read one this morning that said something to the effect of it is not your responsibility to sacrifice for anyone else, do what’s best for you. We can never forget the YOLO movement either, you only live once, do what makes you happy and whatever you want. Live it up! Additionally, the self-care memes and quotes are in no deficit either, but I’ll mention self-care in a bit as some measure of self-care is necessary but likely not for the reason that the movement boasts.

That was the general gist of our discussion about the existence of this thought process in society. Now why would her Theology professor want her to be aware of it and how does it line up with God’s word? That’s where the learning and growing begins. It doesn’t line up with God’s word. In fact, almost all of it is counter to God’s word, just reading the book of Philippians alone would allow you to realize that.

Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any ^[a]affection and compassion, ²make my joy complete ^[b]by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. ³Do nothing ^[c]from ^[d]selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; ⁴do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. ⁵Have this attitude ^[e]in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, ⁶who, as He already existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be ^[f]grasped, ⁷but ^[g]emptied Himself by taking the form of a bond-servant and ^[h]being born in the likeness of men. ⁸And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death: death ^[i]on a cross. ⁹For this reason also God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, ¹⁰so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, ¹¹and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

¹²So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; ¹³for it is God who is at work in you, both to ^[j]desire and to work for His good pleasure.

¹⁴Do all things without complaining or arguments; ¹⁵so that you will ^[k]prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you ^[l]appear as ^[m]lights in the world, ¹⁶holding firmly the word of life, so that on the day of Christ I can take pride because I did not run in vain nor labor in vain. ¹⁷But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you all. ¹⁸You too, I urge you, rejoice in the same way and share your joy with me.

Philippians 2:1-18 NASB95 (BibleGateway)

Those verses alone would be enough to illustrate the incongruities but, since there is a therefore, we could benefit from going back and looking to see what the therefore is there for. In doing this we’ll actually discover more incongruities as the previous verses in Chapter 1 of Philippians, verses 21-30 detail what Godly living is. Paul says to live is Christ and to die is gain, living a Christlike life does mean sacrifice and we know from James chapter 1 that we will encounter trials of many kinds. Paul calls living on in the flesh fruitful labor, which indicates work, he encourages the church at Philippi and us, to conduct ourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. This indicates that when you’re living for yourself and putting yourself first that you’re essentially your own god. You are seeking to serve self rather than Jesus. When it’s all about “me” it’s not all about Christ.

I will say there’s a difference in taking care of yourself with proper nutrition, exercise, sleep, etc. Sometimes we fill our plates with so much that taking a break to rest and rejuvenate is necessary, even Jesus attempted to go away with his disciples and rest.

When you are truly living for Christ, you know you were bought with a price and your life isn’t about you anymore, it’s necessary to untether from worldly ideologies and tether to the Word of God as the ultimate authority.

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore, glorify God in your body.”
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Walking Worthy

January 31st, 2023

Earlier today and all of yesterday I was, in fact, uninspired. Not really uninspired to write but just down in the dumps, “feeling”, sort of useless, and very not like every parent tells their children they are “special.” Today as it rained again, I ascertained these are the normal feelings of so many grey days in a row for me, so, on the way home, I started trying to intentionally take my thoughts captive and focus my mind on pure, lovely, and holy, things. Yes, I’m using my own biblical counseling strategy to counsel myself. I got home, turned on some lights, and tackled one task that needed to be done. I was already feeling better.

Some years ago, my family accepted a very gracious invitation to attend a family retreat at Frontier Camp on Houston County Lake, near Grapeland, TX. We lived close enough to travel back and forth for the daily activities, but many other families stayed in the cabins at camp. That is a precious memory for our family as we did so many things together with other families, from the big swing to arrow tag, dodgeball, decorating cookies, gaga ball (which I think we are supposed to call something else), basketball, and so many other activities, but the one that sticks with us most as a family, was a Bible study. The retreat pastor shared a very real and vulnerable story about parenting and his family, whom we knew personally, our son will spend this coming weekend with his son, and they are in their 20’s now! The message was on Godly living, with multiple passages from the Bible encouraging us to Walk Worthy in the manner in which we are called, as ambassadors for Christ, sons and daughters of God, our citizenship being in Heaven and representing like it!

He shared that “Walk Worthy” was a regular phrase that came from his mouth as his kids left the home for school or work, it became a regular phrase to the kids, bonus and biological, as they left my home too. Occasionally, I’d chase them out the door just to shout, “I love you, Walk Worthy!” as they got in their cars. It was a sign that one of our incredible mentors in youth made for us, and to my knowledge, is still hanging above the youth room door as a challenge to live out the faith you say you believe in your daily life to this very day.

As I sat there thinking on that wonderful experience at Frontier Camp, and our continued relationships with so many of those camp families, and about us sharing that message with youth so much so that it became their motto too. We even had our own double W “Walk Worthy” “hand sign” we would sometimes use to silently encourage each other. Today, it occurred to me, the very act of pushing through and taking my thoughts captive and forcing them to align with the will of Christ WAS walking worthy. Daily choices we make, especially on the hard days are what walking worthy is all about. I had to untether myself from the unhealthy thoughts and tether myself to thoughts of Christ! Let’s walk worthy brothers and sisters, and when we stumble a bit, grab hold of one another and encourage each other on!
Thankful for the Rain

January 29th, 2023

There have been many times I’ve prayed for rain over hayfields and crops and one time when we had a drought in Texas and had over 100 days of over 100 degrees with no rain, I think people who had never prayed, began praying! It’s easy in those times to be thankful for the rain and to run out and dance in it as it soaks into the ground and cools your skin. You can almost hear the vegetation breathe a sigh of relief.

Photo by Sitthan Kutty on Pexels.com

Lately though, especially where we are now, it rains often, you don’t have to pray for it, you might be more tempted to pray for it to not happen! After the addition of some high-grade titanium to my body, I can usually predict the rain a day before it arrives, even my hip groans, and I’m more likely to be thankful for the massage chair in that moment. We have no lack of rain, and cloudy days, this doesn’t always bode well for my mental health or my attitude, sunshine makes me happy.

The other day as I sat praying on a day it rained from before I got up to long after I had gone to bed, I began really thinking about the difference between sunshine and rain and how without the rain I wouldn’t even know how much I love the sunshine. It took rainy, cold days to teach me gratitude for the warmth of the sunshine warming my skin and seeping into those achy joints.

I realized I was thankful for the rain. This got me to thinking about certain trials and tribulations I have been through and how if I had not experienced them, I wouldn’t be grateful for the deliverance from them or the growth they caused in me. This definitely sounds incredibly like that first chapter of James even though we often don’t always “consider it joy when we encounter trials of many kinds,” but we definitely want the endurance and growth they produce! We can’t have one without the other, but we can have a more grateful attitude when we grow through the trials.

As I sat in the sun that next day soaking it in like a lizard on a fence post, feeling the warmth spread through my body and my mind, I thanked God first for the cold rainy day before, because without it I wouldn’t have appreciated the golden rays painting the ground a soft yellow as they filtered through the leaves and splashed their golden glow all round nearly as much! I wonder how many other things we should stop and meditate on that were tough and uncomfortable, that truly taught us to be grateful for new seasons to come if we untether ourselves from the discomfort and tether ourselves to the growth it will eventually produce.

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Attitude and Leadership

January 28th, 2023

Leadership is a topic we discuss in this household a lot! In fact, we probably read one book a month on leadership, often as a family. A couple of our favorites are “Extreme Ownership” by Jocko WiIlink and “It’s Your Ship” by Micheal Abrashoff. These are amazing books, but, since everyone hasn’t read them, I’ll just stick with the movie quotes which is consistent with yesterday, as well as part of the theme of yesterday. Have you ever seen the movie, “Remember the Titans”? It’s a family favorite! There’s a scene from that movie where one of the football players responds with a quote that forever stuck in my mind, he said, “Attitude Reflects Leadership, Captain” in response to the captain questioning a teammate for his actions.

A LONG time ago when I was in marching band in high school our band director made us all take out a piece of paper and write the entire alphabet down on the paper with one letter on each line, then he had us assign numbers to those letters starting with a 1 beside the letter A , and a 2 beside the letter B, progressing all the way down until Z had the letter 26 by it. He then had us write the word “attitude” and add up the points associated with each letter of the word from the list we had made. He already knew this exercise would add to be 100% so he could exclaim, “Attitude is everything!” while he unveiled that saying across the back of our new band shirts! It was very dramatic and very exciting.

If you couple those two ideas together, you’ll find that whatever it is that you are allowing to lead you will affect your attitude. Since this is a recycle of a speech I’ve given to youth on a couple of separate occasions the analogies are from a high school perspective, but they can easily be applied to us too. While coaches and teachers are honorable men and women, they are just that, men and women and we know that we are all fallible and that we have all fallen short of the glory of God. (Rom 3:23) Yes, it is necessary to comply with your coaches, teachers, bosses, etc, but think about the larger picture of life. Beyond Friday night lights, game days, and grades, beyond the degree plan, graduation day, paycheck, and even beyond retirement. Challenge yourself to see who or what you are really following. Who is really your leader and does your attitude reflect that of your leadership?

Everything you do on and off the field or court, in or out of the classroom, office, workspace or home reflects the attitude of who you are truly following. It could be yourself, the in crowd, friends, money, fame, etc. When you truly follow Jesus, your attitude should reflect His.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, as living for the Lord, not for men.
Colossians 3:23

This means you’re not the captain calling the shots of your life, not you, your parents, a coach, a college, a boss, or a company. You are following Jesus, he is your leader, when you start doing that, everything about your performance on and off the field or court, in and out of the house, office or workspace will be the absolute best it can be.

Think about what you’ll be doing in 5, 10, 20 years, chances are it won’t be in the exact same places with the exact same human leadership as you have now. The choices you make effect your future, positively or negatively. You do have a choice about the kind of leadership you allow to shape your attitude. Since we already know attitude adds up to be 100%, choices that are made as a result of the attitude of Jesus’ leadership will NEVER lead you astray. Untether yourself from choices that do not reflect the leadership of Jesus Christ!
Living Untethered from Regret

January 27th, 2023

I’ve never seen the movie, but I’ve seen clips from a movie with Jennifer Anniston where her daughter brings home a guy with a tattoo on his chest that says, “NO RAGRETS”, and the dad in the movie says something to the effect of, “you really have no regrets, not even one little letter?” For some reason I find that hysterical and while I’ve never actually watched the movie, we quote that scene playfully often!

The truth is we all have regrets, we all have things we wish we would have done or said differently. For some odd reason these memories pop up at the oddest times and when you reflect on them, sometimes from a much more mature season of life, you can see the trouble whatever action it was caused for you or your reputation and how it had long lasting effects. I was pondering on just that sort of memory this morning, (showers, walks in the sunshine and time in the saddle will make me do that) regretting my young self’s decision-making process.

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Today I can look back and understand the “why” behind some of my poor decisions, but it still doesn’t make me regret them any less. I have always had the desire to be included, liked, and accepted. A lot of people do, I’m not alone in that, my desire and the fact that I had moved around so much and always felt like an outsider drove me to make great effort to fit in. Sadly, it was often to the detriment of my character or reputation. For some reason this morning I remembered being around a group of kids in junior high or early high school and because, of the nature of the conversation that was going on and my desire to fit in and be one of them, telling some filthy jokes I had overheard from some adults and using incredibly course and foul language. Ordinarily, I would never speak like that but in that moment and others I did, and it began to shape my peers’ mental model of me and the type of person I was even though it was far from how I really was inside. Today, I’m utterly repulsed by the entire exchange and definitely disappointed in myself. There have been other poor decisions and many more regrets since then, but I started thinking this morning, what if, as a kid, I really took 1Corinthians 10:31 seriously and ran every thought or action through the filter of, “would this please the Lord and glorify Him?” If so, I could be living a life with no regrets.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
1Corinthians 10:31 NASB95

I’ve already mentioned my love for the internal consistency of the Bible, so you might expect that’s not the only verse that encourages Godly living, it’s just a short easy to remember one. In our house in Texas when the kids were all in elementary school, we used a “classroom” type setting and had a little classroom set up for school each day. I had Psalms 34:13 hung on the wall which read, “keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.” I also had 1 Corinthians 10:5 about taking your thoughts captive and conforming them to the will of Christ, hanging on the wall as well as Philippians 4:8 about what to focus on instead, which I think also pairs really well with the following verse of Psalm 34 verse 14 which says, “turn from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it.” This was in a great effort to hide God’s word in my kiddos’ hearts, and mine too, and encourage Godly living.

Here’s the kicker I thought about this morning. I have often been a fan of teaching my kids “the why”, sometimes I wish I had not, now and even as they began to get a little older, they always excepted “the why” behind whatever it was I told them to do. We had to work out that upon occasion I just needed them to obey quickly, and trust that I’d get to “the why” later. A lesson I wish I had learned when I was younger in regard to obeying God’s word in the now and letting Him bring understanding later. But here’s the deal, there are a lot of us that have lived through a few things, and we do understand “the why” about those things so why aren’t we spelling it out for the younger generation? Youth are willing to listen, all teenagers aren’t rebellious rabble rousers regardless of the impression they give, some of the deepest most insightful conversations I have had the pleasure of having, which better helped me understand the struggles youth face while navigating our ever-changing, tumultuous world have been from those very same “trouble making” youth!

I really think if someone had sat down with me and told me that the things I chose to say and not to say, and the activities I chose to participate in or not to participate in were going to build my reputation and other’s mental models of me, and that it could either help me or hurt me, I might have tried a little harder, especially if they had pointed me to God’s word and explained that it has less to do with your reputation and external validation from others and more to do with God’s reputation as you are a professing Christain, made in His image (Gen 1:26) and an ambassador for Christ (2Corinthians 5:20, Eph 6:20). Also let me add Malachi 2:7 which is referring to the lips of the priest and how he is a messenger of the Lord of hosts..ie ambassador.. (pre incarnate Christ..before Christ’s birth, death, burial, and resurrection), now (after Christ) we (all believers of every tribe and tongue) are a kingdom of priests (1Peter 2:9, Rev1:6) ambassadors for Christ, to share His message! Ya’ll this is good stuff!!!! What we do and say and choose not to do and say is important if we have truly surrendered to follow Christ as Lord of our lives. This doesn’t just apply on Sunday and Wednesday and church functions, this is anytime, anywhere, anyplace….. work, school, inside the closed doors of your home, your bedroom, your phone, etc. because Jesus is Lord at all of those times, and you should be making decisions in all of those places with that in mind. It’s about representing Christ rightly through our lives as ambassadors for Him so that others will be drawn to Him as a result, therefore, it’s about His reputation. More than one person has been turned away from “Christianity” because someone claiming to be Christian didn’t act Christ like. Represent well, it actually does matter.

If I had only grasped that younger, I could have lived a life untethered to regret. However, when we confess our sins to the Lord he is faithful to forgive us ( 1John 1:9) and separate them as far as the East is from the West(Psalm 103:12). So, while I do regret many of my actions, I sit here and type without condemnation of them because of Christ alone! (Rom 8:1) Sheesh, isn’t the Word of God literally ALL THA THINGS!!!!! Thank you Jesus!
Untethered Self Expression

January 26th, 2023

Based on the title it may sound like I intend to tell you to say whatever you want and do whatever you want without any regard for anything else…if that’s what you’re looking for you can stop now, we’re going left at Albuquerque!

Oh y’all are still with me! Blogging for me has been sort of crazy! It’s felt sort of therapeutic and it’s helped to release things in me that I guess I needed out plus, it’s made me “feel” creative.

If you know me, you know I’m creative but in very quirky ways. My mother on the other hand, can draw a master piece with a #2 pencil, as can my brother and at least 2 of my children and 2 of their cousins. Drawing, painting, decorating is not really my thing. I like to decorate with my “treasures” which consist of different types of pine cones from different species of pines, acorns from different species of oaks, sea shells, barnacles, coral and other sea treasure from our adventures to the coast, tumbleweeds, antlers, random cool rocks and pretty feathers. I also like glass as it holds and displays my many treasures! God has already created these things and they are so unique and beautiful.

Treasures

This brings me to the discussion I was having with a friend over coffee one day. She takes amazing pictures and can turn these pictures into incredible paintings. We surmised that the need to be creative and to create things is innate. That when God said, “Let us make man in our image,” in Genesis 1:26 that being creative is part of that image in which we were made because we were created by the Master Creator. Don’t think I’m jumping off the deep end I’m just saying it is an incredible outlet that fuels rejuvenation for a lot of people and seems to be a natural impulse or compulsion even if you don’t recognize that’s what you’re doing!

After a long day of school work my son, Tristan, often escapes out to his forge and creates some really cool things out there with metal, usually knives. He also loves to build/create on Minecraft! My husband loves working with his hands and loves to create/build/design things that are useful to others, sometimes just aesthetics like the set of rings he made a group of us for Christmas one year, and sometimes entire machines that aid his teammates on the job. I have a friend who makes the most amazing cards for different occasions that you could ever dream up, and my daughter, Gracie, doodles things that should probably be sold on greeting cards and stationary! Some people write and sing music or poetry, books, or short stories….or blogs! Blogging is a way I am able to express my desire to create. It helps me process the thoughts in my mind and organize all the crazy running around up there!

I put off writing a blog or a book for years because I was scared of how people would respond and honestly, that I’d look or say something dumb. I think that’s probably inevitable, but I’m not afraid of it any more. I had a friend tell me one time that there was an “idiot seat” at every table and at some point everyone takes a turn in it! The trick is, once you realize it was your turn and you’re the one sitting there, you learn from it and don’t camp out! That kind of thinking untethered me from thoughts of failure to the point of not even trying, and tethered me to growth. Wesley, my oldest son, had an MMA coach that taught his students “we don’t lose, we learn.” Being able to untether myself from fear of rejection and failure, and tether myself to growth and learning gave me the courage I needed to be creative, and it’s helped me feel so much more balanced! What about you? How is it that you love to be creative?
Untethered Obedience

January 25th, 2023

Several years ago, my husband discovered Inky Johnson’s testimony, and it was so powerful that we ended up showing it to our youth at the time. We quote so many things from Inky but one of the things that has been especially moving to me has been his view on commitment. He quoted Orebela Gbenga’s definition which says, “Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you.” That’s so powerful, and it’s so true. I mean just think about your exercise schedule. I’ll be honest and say the me who makes the exercise plan in the evening is not the same me who wakes up to execute it the next morning. I’m “feeling” it at 9 in the evening, but when that next day comes, I find that I’m not nearly as loyal to those plans!

When seasons of your life change, it can be the same with your faith, or in the interest of full transparency, it is with mine. I’m not the biggest fan of major change I have discovered. As God transitioned us from the last season to this season, part of me was excited for new adventures, but another part was anxious and not crazy about that being permanent or all little things that would change in big ways as a result. I remember one of Shaun’s teammates asking me, “are you ready for this?” and my response being, “I don’t always agree with God, but I do always have to be obedient to Him.”

We had bathed this decision in prayer and while we knew it was going to be a difficult one, we also genuinely believed it was what God was affirming we should do. Shaun more than me because that meant leaving a child (granted he was nearly 20 but still) behind. Shaun was positive and I wasn’t sure, but as the spiritual head of our household, I trust Shaun and we submit to God together. And…. so we took that step of faith. In a lot of ways, it was exciting, and we’ve gotten to experience some really awesome things, but there have also been some really tough, really not so good very bad days and more tears than I could count. It’s those days that test your commitment to being obedient.

Sometimes you just have to choo choo on and let obedience be the engine and your feelings be the caboose. There’s some days I just don’t “feel” it, maybe because its difficult, maybe because it hurts, maybe because I’m tired, maybe because I’m lazy, but I still must respond to those days with the same level of commitment I “feel” on the good days when things are going swimmingly. I’ve experienced more than one day that I just wanted things to go back to the comfort and familiarity of the way they were, but I press on towards the goal and God gives me little affirmations (which I totally don’t deserve, and He doesn’t have to provide) along the way. Paul wrote in 1Corinthians Chapter 9:24-27 about self-discipline and running your race so as to obtain the prize.

I don’t know about ya’ll, but if I just hop up from this computer and go out to run a race I really hope the EMT’s are close! I have so much respect for runners and the way they train and are so self-disciplined so that they are able to run long distances. I’m sure they don’t always “feel” it, but they run anyway. This is the same with our obedience to Christ, it takes being self-disciplined on the days we don’t “feel” it to build a track record of obedience. Sometimes it takes becoming untethered to your feelings and tethered to that commitment you made to Christ to be obedient, and like Paul says, sometimes you have to beat your body into submission!
Comfort

January 24th, 2023

One of the coolest things I’ve personally gotten to see this past year was Niagra Falls. We spent several days there exploring both the Canadian side and the American side. No matter where you stand, the roar of that much water is unmistakable, powerful, and demands respect. In fact, we stayed in a hotel on the American side near the Falls and once I had seen the falls the first day, I knew the roar I was hearing at night while sleeping in the hotel was the falls. I’ll never forget that sound or that sight!

While studying Revelation, before Nancy Guthrie even mentioned it, when John described Jesus’ voice in verse 1:15, I was already thinking, unmistakable, powerful, worthy of awe and respect like Niagra Falls! In John 10:27 Jesus says his sheep know His voice, I thought about how that compared to me not knowing what the sound was the night before, and then having an encounter with Niagra Falls the next day and knowing exactly what that sound was the next night. It’s the same with Jesus.

This study of Revelation has been so wild for me. I have to admit that I approached Revelation with some definite presuppositions about what I thought it said. When I challenged myself to lay those aside and study it with these ladies anew, I’m finding so much comfort and peace….in apocalyptic literature! That sounds oxymoronic, but it’s true!

I had, and you may too, some presuppositions about Jesus. We’ve seen how the Old Testament points to a coming King, and we’ve seen the prophets prophesy about Him, we’ve seen Him come to Earth as a baby and seen his earthly ministry. We saw a humble servant, the Jews struggled with that, and I often allow my mind to picture him as a meek, suffering servant. The resurrected Jesus is that and so much more, and we need to allow that to shape how we think about Him.

There’s so much to the description of Jesus in Rev 1:12-18 that bears dwelling upon. The first thing that struck me after the sound of his voice, was his garments. One of my most favorite things about the Bible is its internal consistency, how from Genesis to Revelation there’s one giant metanarrative and more threads than one that connect into a rich, firm, theological tapestry. In Exodus there’s an exhaustive explanation of priestly garments that are to be made for the priests and High priest, who makes sacrifices in the Holy of Holies. We know that Jesus is our High Preist and that he gave His life as the final atoning sacrifice (Hebrews 4:14 and chapter 10). So when we see John describe Jesus’ garments, the high priestly garments, puzzle pieces just click into place! The sash doesn’t just indicate a High Priest, but the King! The hair of his head being white as snow is one and the same as Daniel’s description of the Ancient of Days in chapter 7. This is starting to build a picture of Jesus as he is now, as not only Savior, but King and just like one of those “as seen only on TV” commercials, BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE…. and you don’t even have to pay the extra shipping! John continues a description of Jesus that is worth dwelling on some more and adding to your mental model, but his reaction is the real kicker for me!

Remember back in John’s gospel in 13:23 when John is casually reclining(chillin) next to Jesus. They were close friends, John KNEW Jesus and felt comfortable with him, the Bible described John as the disciple whom Jesus loved, yet John’s response to seeing the resurrected King? He fell on his face as if he were dead and Jesus reached out and laid his right hand upon John and said,

“……Do not be afraid; I am the first and the last, and behold, I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of death and of Hades.”
Jesus- Revelation 1:17-18

Bruh! Can you imagine!? John sees something different about Jesus and so should we! What a comfort for Jesus to lovingly reach out and touch John, and then to speak and say so much in so few words! An I AM statement affirming He is God, but to say I was dead, I took possession of the keys of death and hades, and I am alive forever more controlling the when, and the who of death, hades and Heaven. I’ve counseled kids and adults alike after they’ve lost someone, sometimes not in their old age but suddenly and unexpectedly. Often the concern in our despair is, was it too soon? We know it wasn’t, because whoever has the keys opens the door and He’s never surprised by the timing even if we are. No loved one has ever gone too early or somewhere they weren’t supposed to because Jesus himself is there opening doors and giving access. That is an incredible comfort to me as I’m sure it was to John who, at that time, was exiled on the island of Patmos, presumably to die, but Jesus said only when I open the door! What a comfort to those in Christ! I find so much comfort in untethering myself from my presuppositions and tethering myself to the truth of God’s Word and our Savior and King, Jesus Christ.
Fear of the Unknown

January 23rd, 2023

I experience major trepidation when encountering things I know little about or things I am unfamiliar with. See my previous blog which mentions my irritation of driving in an unfamiliar town after moving. I get major anxiety sometimes, and sometimes, when possible, I try to avoid the situation all together. Often when I’m invited to a new restaurant, I will look up the menu ahead of time so I can prepare myself to order before I ever set foot in the restaurant. Sometimes I know whatever it is, it is necessary to muster up the courage and just get through it even if I bumble through it. I’ve talked to plenty of other women who have experienced the same or similar things.

Having been a firearms instructor for 10 years and owned my own gun shop and training center, I have had tons of clients who have come in with a major fear of firearms, so much so that they have avoided them at all costs. I have had the opportunity to educate so many people by teaching them proper nomenclature, parts of a firearm and their functions, as well as how to safely operate those firearms. Usually, there’s this beautiful moment in a class or private lesson where I can almost see the weight and tension slide off client because they finally understand how the firearm works and why and how to safely use it. Thier trepidation had little to do with the actual firearm and more to do with a fear of the unknown and possibly hurting themselves or someone else in their ignorance.

I recently experienced this in my own life, with a book of all things! I mentioned I had been to seminary and when I walked across that stage and received my Masters, one of the things that I had learned was that I didn’t know ALL the things! One such thing I felt incredibly underconfident in teaching or understanding any more than the basic facts about was the book of Revelation. So, like any reasonable person would do, I avoided it! I mean there’s 65 other books in the Bible that I feel a whole lot more comfortable with, this ONE book isn’t THAT crucial right?! Except I say the entire Bible is the divinely inspired, inerrant, Word of God which has absolute authority….and I believe that…..so it’s super important to not leave any part of it out!

Prior to the Nancy Guthrie study, Blessed, which I mentioned in the “Loved” blog post, when I heard the word Revelation as referring to the book of the Bible, I instantly thought “apocalypse”. I could hear that bell hop from the Disney show, “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody” say, “Ahhhhhhhhhhh! This is a disaster,” in his thick Spanish accent. But God, two of my favorite words in the Bible, placed people in my life who encouraged me and were willing to sit down with me and take another look, and I’m so grateful. Now when I think of the book of Revelation, I rightly think “reveal”. Revelation is just a continuation of the other 65 books which reveals the person and work of Jesus Christ to us. It reveals how and who Jesus is now, prior to His second coming and gives us such comfort and relief, and as someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, I’m definitely wanting to untether myself from fear which causes my anxiety and tether myself to knowledge, especially through the revelation of Jesus Christ. It’s a no brainer now that I’m sitting here typing trying to articulate it, but if you know how anxiety works, you know it feels overwhelming at the time.

Don’t miss out on things just because you have a fear of the unknown, untether yourself from fear-based actions and tether yourself to study and education, and especially to the Word of God which is truly sufficient for all things. If you have trepidation over Revelation too, maybe sitting down with a copy of “Blessed” will help you untether yourself from the confusion and tether yourself more tightly to Jesus, our Savior and King.