Raychel Writes

Forever Forward

February 8th, 2024

I think I’ve found a new motivational motto. I learn so much from the way God created nature, I learn about Him and His attributes and I learn about me too. I learn how not to handle things sometimes, and how to handle things. Recently, I was having a discussion with my son about leadership and knowing what to do and how to do it and how sometimes not acting on what you know needs to be done because of the anticipation of how others will respond causes us to retreat back into ourselves. I softly reminded him that James encourages us to be doers of the word not just hearers, posters, and knowers (paraphrased with emphasis added) and we should be applying that to everyday life.

One of our former youth students who is now grown with kids of her own tagged me in a post on Facebook not too long ago about growth. It said something to the effect of just because I did it or advocated for it in the past and don’t participate in it or advocate for it now, doesn’t make me a hypocrite when I advocate against something I once did or advocated for. It means I’ve grown. She was struggling with people in her circle accusing her of hypocrisy because she had grown and matured and dared to change her stance on some things.

We were on a grand adventure last week with the pups and saw a sign that said “do the best you can until you know how to do better,” we had a discussion about that being a viable replacement for the saying, “fake it until you make it.” Do the best you can until you know better, when you know better, do better!

These all encapsulate the idea of Forever Forward. I won’t speak for everyone, even though I’m pretty sure we have all stopped ourselves from doing something at least long enough to consider what others will think, I’ve done it far too many times to count. I’ve listened to others’ opinions when I should have trusted my gut. Sometimes, especially in a small town where people have known you your whole life, or in a family where people have seen you grow up they can form a mental model of you that they cling to even when you mature and change, this can be true with both good changes where you have worked hard to grow yourself in areas and mature but they see the little boy or girl or rebellious teenager, etc. they THINK they’ve always known. The converse could be true too, its possible to ride the coattails of your previous character even around people who don’t spend enough time around you anymore to know you don’t live by the standards you previously did. But that’s another story for another day.

It is with these thoughts in our heads sometimes that we retreat within ourselves because we fear the backlash, lack of support, misunderstanding, or even sometimes revealing that we are capable of doing far more than we have been, and so raising expectations for ourselves in the minds of our peers. This can also come with some backlash of “why haven’t you stepped up before now?” We remain paralyzed, rooted in our fear, whether reasonable or not, and don’t move. We do nothing, we allow what WE THINK others may think, or how WE THINK others may respond, to control OUR OWN lack of growth. WE ALLOW IT, which means, WE CHOOSE IT. If we are a victim, it is only because we chose to be ourselves. Refuse to be a victim. You’ll never get where you want to be with that mindset.

My son was talking with me through some of his struggles and I was sharing some of my own and he reminded me then, just like he did the other day, when I was again struggling, that I always have a tendency to value too heavily what others think or what I think they will think, but never when it pertains to something about faith because I fear God more than any man. I started looking at how to uncompartmentalize that aspect of my faith and inject it into my daily life.

If I was a betting woman, I would bet money that in 1519 when Hernan Cortes landed on the shore of the “New Land” and instructed some 600 men to burn the ships as they advanced on the Aztecs to conquer what is now Mexico, that his men thought a lot of things and not all of them were positive about their leader! But Cortes was ensuring there would be no retreat. If you sat paralyzed in fear, you would die. His motto was clearly, forever forward.

A nautilus, one of God’s beautiful ocean creatures, grows in this same way. Forever forward regardless of what happens. Each chamber is sealed off behind as the nautilus grows, and it does not retreat to the first and earliest or any of the chambers of it’s shell that it once inhabited. Mistakes or not, good or bad it grows always moving forward. When my son was in MMA many years ago his coach would say, “we never lose, we can win or we can learn.” That’s a forever forward motto too. The illustrator of what is about to be 3 of our children’s books painted herself (below) on the shore of our first book because, whether she realizes it or not, she also is the embodiment of growing forever forward and glorifying God regardless of the circumstance she finds herself in. She is as brave a warrior as Cortes himself and I’m grateful to battle by her side as well as my daughter’s who also is the embodiment of forever forward too. She never lets what would shut most people down even really cause her to stumble.

So whatever it is that’s holding you back, especially if its hypothetical thoughts in your own head, its time to burn your ship, seal off your chamber, you know better now do better, grow! One of my very best friends hand painted a treasure for me that I hang wherever we go. It’s a serving tray painted with aspens in vibrant fall colors. At the time she gave it to me she was moving, and I was too focused on that to notice or understand the weight of the word, “Grow” that she included along the outer edge. So many times, when we’ve been doing hard things and experiencing pain, I’ve looked up and seen that word and felt its comfort wash over me. GROW! I used to have terrible growing pains in my legs as a child and I welcomed them because I wanted to be tall! The struggle you’re feeling is growing pains, keep moving forward, don’t retreat! Grow-FOREVER FORWARD
Management, Leadership and Teams

January 26th, 2024

Many of us don’t recognize we’re in management, we don’t recognize that we are leading anyone or that we have a team. Some of us have jobs and titles that make that evident, but just because you have the title doesn’t mean you are truly doing service to it. A lot of times service isn’t a word that enters the thought processes of some managers, supervisors or other titles that are considered leadership. We like to call those people bosses. There’s a big difference between bosses and leaders, I’ve personally worked for both as has my husband, and we would definitely choose a leader over a boss any day, particularly a servant leader. Let me drop a visual of the difference.

In my business, at work, and at home, I have or have had the opportunity to lead. Once you can get over that fixed mindset of, “I’ve always done it this way before, it works”, and learn to operate outside your comfort zone in a way that fosters the involvement and ideas other than your own, you’ll discover ways that work better and give ownership to the people working with you, which creates a team. Once you have a team tackling a task and they feel like they have some skin in the game because their ideas are at least being contemplated and sometimes used and improved upon by the rest of team, you’ll find that you can accomplish so much more together so much more quickly than if you just sat and barked orders.

Even as a mom in your home with your kids, a youth leader working on a Christmas or Easter program, a captain on a team, coach, pastor etc, while it may seem easier to give directives and wear a “parent hat,” you can be more effective when you make room for creativity and involvement, incorporating others ideas and blending them together in a way that still accomplishes the task that you need to accomplish but creates the ownership you need in the entire team, family, or group to get it done, especially if time is of the essence.

Ownership is a motivator which incentivizes your team to participate because now they have skin in the game. (whether it’s an actual game or just a task) Humans are winners, we want to win and see something we feel like we contributed to succeed!

The days of top-down leadership are archaic and I’m not the only one to call them so. Two of Shaun’s and my favorite leadership books “Extreme Ownership,” by Jocko Willink and “It’s Your Ship,” By Capt. Michael Abershoff both say the same. In fact, Jocko teaches leading up the chain of command and leading down it, indicating that while there is a chain of command, good leaders feed good information upstream not just downstream. As a leader your leader isn’t coming to you for updates, you’re readily supplying them that information so that as they make decisions and lead up their chain of command everyone is in the loop with the latest information. That can look different in the home, on a team, or in the workplace but there’s a spot for it everywhere. Even in your prayer life, as a leader you need to be going to your leader with the details!

Everyone influences someone, even siblings, we like to call that leadership. So even if you don’t have a title, you are leading because you have influence on everyone around you who sees you. What does your leadership communicate to the people you have influence over, to your team? Do they want to follow you because you’re leading the charge with them and care about what they think, or do you lose traction because you only want to use your own ideas? If you’re the smartest person on your team, you haven’t built a very good team, you need people who know more than you do about areas you have to manage in so that they can take their niches and run with them contributing to the success of the overall team.

Since I have the privilege of being married to a manager at a fortune 150 company and he meets regularly with other managers at this same company, I get to be in the presence of some amazing leaders fairly often, I listen to them, watch them and read what they read. I’ve compiled a list of 20 of the most recommended books that have been incredibly instrumental in their leadership growth and that of some of their teams as well as my own growth! I’ll drop the link so you can like it, save it, share it and you can apply some of these same lessons as you continue to grow!

https://www.amazon.com/shop/raychelshaw/list/1Q44GPXSZ1DI8?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_aipsflist_aipsfraychelshaw_P9M5Q27C82QY5TT6P89Q

I think we can all agree that one of the greatest leaders, if not the greatest, of all time was Jesus Christ. Even if you are not a Christian, you can look at his leadership strategy and see that it was effective, fostered ownership, accountability, let others use their own personality types to accomplish the tasks given by him and has passed the test of time. We refer to it as servant leadership. Jesus was direct sometimes, just as we have to be, but he still left it up to his team to decide how they could best accomplish his directives.

Leadership is something that has always fascinated me, I could go on and on about lessons I’ve learned. One of the most notable lessons our family learned when we read Jocko’s book together was irradicating the victim mentality from our mindsets. We learned to hold each other accountable and never look for a place to point fingers. To control our emotions when something happens or we disagree and we have to talk about it, in the work place that’s called professionalism, at home its called maturity.

I was listening to Selma Hayak talk about the success in her marriage and she said when something goes wrong they never look for someone to point the finger at, never play the blame game. They come together, assess the situation and offer solutions until they find the one that best fixes the issue! Imagine how much better a team could function if everyone accepted ownership and stopped looking to blame someone. If rather than complaining and pointing fingers, we offered solutions! Your family is a team, so is your workplace which means its your ship, do something about it!

Of the 20 books on that list I think I only have a few left to read. If it fascinates you, you’d like to grow as a leader in whatever capacity you are leading, and you ARE leading, check these books out! I promise you won’t be disappointed! If you know someone who’s trying to improve their leadership skills like you, or you wouldn’t have read this far, send it to them so they can join us!
Best Moments-Gratitude & Reprogramming Fighting Depression

January 23rd, 2024

I’m tagging along on a business trip with my hubs because he’s going to be relatively close to a good friend I haven’t seen in ages! As we do when he and I are on roadtrips, we picked a book to listen to. I had downloaded Jon Acuff’s “All You Need Is A Goal,” since it had been referred to me by my bestie.

https://amzn.to/3Ob8PWL

There’s the link in case you’d like to get your own copy, I do earn commissions from Amazon from my referral links.

Anyhow, the first exercise he instructs readers to do is create a best moments list. He goes on to list some of his own best moments as well as others so there are ample examples of what those could look like. He even talks about the difficulty in focusing on yourself enough to call attention to some of your accomplishments as you recognize them as best moments. Not all best moments are accomplishments. Later you’ll categorize these moments into 4 different categories: experience, accomplishments, relationship, & objects.

This will not be a book review, it’s the doing of this exercise that captured my attention from a mental health standpoint.

As Shaun and I began to form our lists audibly calling out loud our best moments and reminiscing there were tears, smiles, laughter and joy. Jon said the 40’s hit a little different and are characterized by self reflection which I find to be true.

Today has been a gray day and it sputtered rain off and on all day. This is the typical kind of day that usually gets me down and blue, but this exercise made me really focus on so many of the good and wonderful moments I’ve had in my life. It’s very difficult to be gloomy when you’re focusing on those moments and literally writing them down on a piece of paper that you can stare at. It’s very difficult to ignore the truth you’re very plainly listing out and continue in false and dark thoughts attempting to consume your mind.

I listed things like

-meeting my husband,

-getting to be pregnant 3 times

-having 3 beautiful babies!

-The sound of our children’s laughter even as adults especially when we’re all together.

-Our first trip to CO and every trip since that allowed us to meet some of the most incredible people who have become family and not just friends.

-Specific hunts

-our Little Buddy

-Frankie the Tortoise

-church camp 2018

-publishing my first book!

-and so on!

My list is soooooo long and it’s hard for me to continue to be blue with all of these clearly wonderful moments staring at my face! This will be an exercise I employ when I feel myself being blue, and it’s one you can use too.

As a believer, I have long known the expression “count your blessings” which makes me think of the song and then the following lyric “name the one by one.” This isn’t a new tactic, clearly it’s been in use awhile!

Further, I’ve long learned to employ the verse about taking my thoughts captive in 2Corinthians 10:5 and forcing them to be obedient to the will of a Christ. To turn them from gloom and despair to what Paul suggested us to focus on in his letter to the Philippians,

Philippians 4:8 (NASB95): Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

Sometimes hearing that and doing it are two separate battles and trying to use it to reprogram your thought processes can be just as tough. This exercise however, is a simple one that set me on the right path today. I know that all good things come from my Father above, so if I’m listing out blessings, that’s focusing on lovely things that are worthy of praising our Father about.

If you’re struggling with depression, what could it hurt to grab a pen and paper and start listing some of your best moments, any favorite memory. You’ll see that the truth, and what you’re feeling, aren’t in alignment right now and you need to continue to focus on these “bests” to have them help you reprogram your “stinkin thinkin.” This worked for my stinkin thinkin today!!

The next book I listen to will be “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” by Joseph Nguyen https://amzn.to/3OeRJHE and I’ll see if there’s anything practical and helpful I can use and share with others in there!
For the SAH/Homeschool moms

January 19th, 2024

When we first moved to a new community in a new state and town I struggled with finding my purpose in all of it. Why was I here and what was I supposed to do now?

I thought I needed a job since I was working even while homeschooling before, but the kids have either graduated from college, are in college, or transitioned fully to dual credit classes.

The trouble was I wasn’t sure how long we’d be at the new location and it had taken me a long time to build my business and reputation back home. I decided to look into remote work which is really difficult to get into apparently, and even though I have degrees, certifications, and experience teaching and instructing in non traditional work environments, none of this seemed to matter. Re-entering the workforce after you’ve chosen to stay at home with your kids is challenging…but not impossible.

I had several rejections that explained I was qualified but they chose to go with someone who already possessed experience with a specific program or just remote work in general. While I could admit that was likely a wise choice for them as they would not have to train the new person as heavily, I felt useless, rejected, and a little dehumanized, like I had no value.

I say FELT! I know the truth of God’s word says otherwise and that I was finding my identity in what I did or wanted to do rather than who I am in Christ.

So what does anyone do when they want to go off on someone and just let them have it…which was also how I was feeling because they kept looking at a piece of paper and not a lifetime of who I am.

Some people storm the office and really give them an earful. I on the other hand, wrote a sort of spoken word poetry that made me feel like a nerdy gangsta! 🤣🤣🤣 I felt like it was more aggressive than writing a letter! Then I teamed up with one of the best illustrators I know and we published a children’s book and we are working on 2 more! So there’s that! https://amzn.to/3u0R3i0

Enjoy my nerdy gangsta life, y’all! ✌🏼 poem below : ps this is what being in your feels looks like!

What do you do,

they ask the mother who minds the home, schooling and nurturing her kids.

As if a constant spreadsheet doesn’t auto calculate in her mind with every necessary and unnecessary purchase, as well as the inventory of things needed to make the house run from groceries, to toilet paper, clean socks and stuff to clean socks, dog food and pipe insulation to prepare for an upcoming storm. Not to mention the constant running code of transcripts, school supplies, class lists and requirements, grading and answers that never stops growing.

But no, the question is what do you do?

They mean money and a career,

And when they’re met with my answer there’s often an automatic sneer.

They don’t understand that managing a home and family is like running a small business.

They want to see credentials and abbreviations beside your name and a resume that’s endless.

They get business hours and weekends and vacations, not stopping to think that our job is a round the clock never stopping vocation.

We’ve dreams and aspirations and even degrees of our own, we have certifications and side hustles, but our focus was on our four walls and what takes place in our home.

The desire to choose what goes into our kids, not just their stomachs, but their minds, to shape them Biblically in a world where it’s often uncool to be kind.

They’ll be weird and unsocialized and lack social skills.

Maybe, but we have maturity appropriate conversations, and learn Biblical responses to deal with their feels.

We don’t shelter them from hard things but teach them to deal appropriately with time, not throw them into situations ill equipped without reason or rhyme.

We lay a foundation for success when they’re grown, we teach practical things too, so they can thrive on their own.

They go to universities where they’re in the top of their classes, but ya’ll don’t see teaching degrees so ya’ll assume we’re just giving free passes.

Our kids pass the same tests as everyone else, they are our resumes, our credentials literally speak for themselves.

Next time you think a stay-at-home mom isn’t up to the task, take a walk with her instead, and let her school you on all the things you didn’t learn in class!

#thanerdygangsta
Nothing Really Prepares You

December 29th, 2023

When I’m in my feels I write, it gives me something productive to do instead of just cry.

Over the last 2 years we’ve done a lot of waving and hugging bye and it still hasn’t gotten any easier, and nothing prepares you.

Nothing really prepares you for the vacancy at home,
For waking up to an empty house and being all alone.

The missing sound of tiny feet and all the chatter being gone.
Driving away after holidays with empty seats just feels wrong.

Nothing prepares you for leaving them behind, or watching them drive out the driveway to go back to their home,
or the feeling that poisons that last day together knowing tomorrow you’ll wake up empty and alone.

Nothing prepares you for the tightness in your chest and the invisible hand around your neck.
Just when you think you’ve got the battle won and you can make it, the memories flood back!

The tears cloud your vision at random times in the day, and the pain that comes with missing them dulls but never goes away. It’s not as though they’re completely gone, you’ll see them again, you’ll arrange vacations and visits and burn up the FaceTime calls until you’re back together with them.

The time is never long enough, you hate for them to leave. No one really prepares you for your bigs to grow up or the way it makes you grieve.
When the first ones out you begin to grieve the others if they’re close, even though they’re still at home you know all of them leaving will hurt the most.
You learn to treasure the moments and the time that you have left, you hold them a little tighter and hug a little longer and don’t explain your eyes when they randomly become wet.
Nothing can prepare you for the way letting them grow up feels, even though you know it’s the right way you, just long for those big sit down family meals.

The laughter around the table now is a balm that heals your soul, and the pile of shoes and chaos that maybe used to bother you is let go!

Nothing really prepares you when all of you grow old, maybe something will come along and ease the ache someday like a grand baby to hold.
Broken Crayons Still Color

November 28th, 2023

I am definitely not the inventor of that phrase but it’s so very true. It’s a lesson that has taken me way into my adult years to learn where it applies to myself, but I have no trouble seeing the beautiful masterpieces other self-proclaimed broken people color with their lives. More specifically, one of my favorite things to do is to help others see the masterpieces they have painted or are still capable of painting through their brokenness as they cling to God. They literally paint the survival guide for someone going through the same thing. While I see this beauty in others, I often have a tough time recognizing it in myself. Just the other day I encouraged a friend who was struggling with his brokenness with the same words of this title. But 2 weeks later while I was having a pity party, I protested to my husband about my uselessness because I’m broken!

Sidenote

* Ya’ll should probably pray for him because while we are all saints as believers in Christ (1Corinth 1:2) this man is like a hyper saint, just saying.

This is not something our boys have ever struggled with. They’ve learned this lesson and demonstrated it to me on more than one occasion, two that still bring tears to my eyes. We had been to the zoo and on a rare splurge each of the kids selected an overpriced animal from the gift shop. They were young, Tristan, our youngest, was probably 5 or 6 years old. Later in the year we discovered one of the dogs had used one of the back legs of T’s warthog as a chew toy and it was badly mangled. While headed on my way to throw him in the trash, Tristan took off to the bathroom asking if we had any band aids. Instead of throwing him out, Tristan’s first thought was to heal or bandage what was broken. When he realized I was about throw the wart hog away he was incredulous and took him from my hands with tears in his eyes as he said, “if I was wounded would you just throw me out?” …..and the Oscar goes to….TRISTAN. However, Tristan is now 16 and we still have that warthog with medical tape on his back leg which I dutifully applied through tears!

As I sit here unpacking Christmas ornaments, I came across what has become the mascot for our tree and truthfully my life. Frist of all, I am not allowed to do our main tree as a fancy themed tree. I did this one year and was so proud of myself and even had a few people comment about how it looked like it belonged to a department store. My kids HATED it, they prefer our crazy ornaments collected throughout the years that hold special memories and sentimental value. Deep down I agree with them. And so it is that the first ornament I unpacked this year would be the glass dinosaur with the band aid on his bum where his tail should be. Tristan went through a dinosaur stage as every little boy does and had received a treasured dino ornament for Christmas one year. Not wanting a repeat of the warthog guilt as even without a leg that warthog still dutifully snuggles, when we discovered the dino’s tail had broken off, I quickly set to work healing what was broken. That dino still looks beautiful on the tree and under our skilled hands we are able to place him in positions to shine without ever really noticing he’s broken.

This is our relationship with God the Father. We are all broken by our sin and the sufferings of this world wrought by ours and others sin (Rom 3:23). But in Christ we are new creations (2Corinthians 5:17). He starts a work in us that will be completed on the day Christ Jesus returns (Phil 1:6). Healing and restoration is a process for anyone, but we have a supernatural healer working on us who promises to stay right by our sides regardless of the path he calls us to walk (Psalm 23, Psalm 18.33). We have a supernatural strength inside us even in our weakness for when we are weak, Christ’s “grace is sufficient for us and His power is made perfect in weakness” (2Corinth 12:9). When Paul wrote Philippians 4:13 he wasn’t saying he could lift an SUV through Christ who strengthens him, or pass a test, win a game, get a promotion etc. He was talking about persevering through any season of life and any circumstance because of the power of Christ inside him, being content and joyful in seemingly unjoyful circumstances like prison and poverty, for Paul, because of our hope in our Savior Jesus Christ. When we are tethered to Jesus, regardless of our brokenness and hurt, be it physical or emotional we are broken crayons that can very much still color! We are that warthog with the bandaged leg and the dino with the bandaged bum, still useful to our Creator who is more than capable of healing our brokenness!
Alligators and Anniversaries

November 20th, 2023

I’m sure that if you google top things to do or places to go for your anniversary, alligator hunting is not at the top of the list, or even on the list at all. For Shaun and me, we could think of no better thing to do, however. We had had a gentleman who came to our house with the easement company to explain that they were going to have shredders and mowers on our property clearing the pipeline easement that runs in front of our house and down one side of the property. He was talking through how it was going to go and assuring us that they would pay attention to our horses and cattle and make sure that our gates were closed. As we were talking to him, he told us the story and showed us pictures of a 10ft alligator he and his wife had just harvested as standby hunters on a Texas Parks and Wildlife hunt. He was incredibly excited and had even typed up the story which he let us read.

That was it for us, we figured if these two 60ish year olds could go unprepared with no bait or anything and set their line out with rented kayaks that we could improve on their preparedness and do it too! He took us to the website and helped us find the drawn hunts page and the information about showing up to put in for the standby drawing if you weren’t drawn prior to the hunt. We read and re-read his story, watched every episode of Swamp People that was available at the time just in case any of that was actually like reality, and did a ton of research and read forums.

We ordered large hooks and paracord from eBay and practiced setting the line out. While my dad was visiting from Georgia, we returned home from a fishing expedition at the Trinity River to discover a message left on our answering machine. A guy from TPWD had tried to call us about a drawn hunt we had put in for. I returned his phone call and much to our delight, learned that we had been drawn for the alligator hunt on September 15 and 16^th, no need to go down on standby we were already in! He said our letter had been returned as undeliverable, but a quick search of our customer info showed the same address, so he was doing his last due diligence to inform us. We also discovered during our conversation that we had both gone to Stephen F Austin State University for forestry and wildlife management and bonded over different amazing assignments and professors as well as crazy assignments from professors. Lumberjacks are instant family in the same way Aggies are even if they’ve never met! He was familiar with the area we were going to be hunting and told us how the hunt would go and where to request to get to hunt based on where he had seen a lot of gators!

When I got off the phone Shaun and I were literally giddy almost to the point of jumping up and down with excitement. My dad, on the other hand, was not nearly as sure. As it turned out, most of the family wasn’t as fired up about us going alligator hunting as we were. Shaun’s dad, of course, was elated for us but he had been in the trenches hog hunting with us for years at this point and he never shies away from something just because it might be dangerous and would never encourage us to. Be prepared and ready, be afraid even, but do it even if you’re scared! My mom volunteered to watch the kids overnight and bring them down the morning of the hunt when the lines had been set out all night over the water so they could be there to see us come in with a gator if we got one.

About a week or so before the hunt, we bought some small whole chickens and left them in a bucket with a lid on it and some other juices and things that when left in the sun for that length of time would be pretty rank. It was, we had gotten to where you could smell it before you reached the bucket! We rented one of the winterized cabins and brought our air mattress and set up camp, launched our little river boat, and went out to do a little scouting. An older pair of gentlemen saw us as we headed out to scout, and we told them it was to be our first time and how we had prepared. They were veteran alligator hunters and shared some tips with us. When we came back in from scouting it seemed they were waiting on us and debating whether or not to go looking for us. They’d been worried about us and upon our arrival, insisted that we come back to their camp to eat dinner. There was no telling them no, and no reason to either. I’m not sure how we ate some sort of alligator soup that night, I didn’t ask questions about it other than what spices he used because it was delicious, he only explained what part of the alligator it had come from and how to cut it up and prepare the crock pot. They were only too happy to share a meal with us and exchange hunting stories and when I shared several hog hunting stories of my own, they visibly relaxed and determined audibly to us that we were going to be alright. We thanked them profusely for the dinner and fellowship and returned to our cabin for the morning’s orientation and release to hunt!

After we were called in to show our licenses and be assigned hunt compartments or areas to hunt which we got to choose, we actually got the area that my fellow alumni suggested, all the hunters sat through orientation and demonstrations so we would all know what to do and how to do it to keep us safe as well as legal. Shaun and I grabbed our bamboo poles and headed out! We set two lines in two separate areas as we each had a tag and came back in to wait. Since we were close to the ramp and staging area we saw a hunter come in with a gator that afternoon and went to investigate. We ended up making friends with him and told him where we had put our lines, he was familiar with the area and thought we had good spots. The next morning, he met us at the boat ramp and told us and the biologist that he passed one of our lines on the way in and that it was down. At the biologist’s suggestion he volunteered to follow us to our line and observe and only help if we were in a bind. I’m not sure if this was out of an abundance of caution for first timers or because I’m a girl or that I was wearing my life jacket and flip flops or what, but I was grateful for someone watching out for us.

As we reached the line, we could see the grass on the bank was pretty torn up and the water around was muddy. When Shaun grabbed the line and slowly began pulling it in fist over fist into the boat, he felt something huge and heavy on the other end. Slowly he pulled the alligator until his head broke the surface of the water as I readied the .410 shotgun standing beside him. In hindsight, my flip flop clad foot being propped on the side of the boat that the alligator was being pulled up on was probably not the safest choice but fortunately I didn’t lose any toes and as his head broke the surface and he began thrashing and fighting to get away, I put it down and we redoubled our efforts. Shaun pulled him back up again as I readied the gun and when his head slightly breached the water the second time, I took aim directly behind his skull and squeezed. Instantly the alligator stilled and water splashed up around us from the shot. Our hunter friends in the boat observing us whooped and hollered, clapped, and congratulated us telling us it certainly did not look like our first gator! Shaun and I tapped his mouth out of an abundance of caution and pulled him into the boat as well as retrieved our pole.

When we got back to the biologist check station at the boat ramp, we were grinning from ear to ear and all three of our kiddos were standing their being tightly held onto by my mother looking on with huge eyes and maybe a little admiration for their parents. We drug him out and the biologist took his measurements and tagged him, he was an 8 foot 9in bull, and we sent him over to the skinners who were there in case anyone needed their services but let us watch and help too!

Our second line had been empty, so we had reset it on the way in with the first alligator. It was time to head back out and check it. Since we had only set it up a couple hours ago, when we tried to go find the area looking for the white line hanging, we couldn’t find it. After trolling around for a few minutes, we thought, what if the line has fallen or we have a second alligator and began looking for the pole instead. We quickly located it and slowly drifted in. Shaun grabbed the line to see if it had just fallen or if we had something on it. To our surprise, as he began pulling in the line and it got tight, a very fresh and active alligator tugged back against him as he tried to get it closer to the boat. This guy was a fighter and drug our boat around a bit as Shaun fought him in. Like the last gator, I began loading and readying the shotgun, when Shaun got the alligator close to the boat and his head breached the surface of the water, it was on me to shoot. In my excitement and fidgeting, I accidentally separated the receiver of the gun from the buttstock. It’s a very old gun and I knew if you torqued it a certain way that would happen. It wasn’t unsafe, just inconvenient. I began apologizing profusely and remember Shaun, who was fighting a very live and very fresh 9 foot 8 inch bull alligator, responded in the calmest and kindest voice, “its ok babe, he’s not going anywhere, just get ready and I’ll pull him up again.” His calmness in the middle of that battle was so comforting and reassuring to me! I quickly slipped the gun back together and got into position to shoot as he again pulled the alligator up. Just like the first one early that morning, the alligator instantly stilled, water rained down around us, and we grinned and high fived….and maybe kissed because, hey, it was our actual anniversary, and then pulled him in to head to the check station where our kiddos were again waiting.

Since this hunt, we have tweaked a few things, but each of our kiddos has been able to harvest at least one alligator from either being drawn for this hunt or going down on standby. Our daughter harvested a 10-foot 10-inch one in a whirlwind of a standby drawing some years later. We have made so many memories hunting alligators together as well as so many friends. Shaun and I were even drawn to hunt another location near the Texas coast some years later which ended up on our actual anniversary date again and we basically had a remake of the first trip and made another lifelong friend! To say that alligator hunting holds a special place in our hearts would be an understatement!
Waders, Calls, and Wader Falls

November 13th, 2023

Duck hunting was a natural next on the list of ways to enjoy the outdoors with our family, the trouble is Shaun hadn’t ever been a duck hunter and obviously neither had I. We happened to have a couple of friends who were also a hubby and wife hunting and fishing duo that were big into duck hunting and more than willing to teach us. We had a place to hunt as our deer lease was more of a duck lease since the vast majority of it stayed under water more often than not, so we invited them to come and stay with us over a long weekend so they could teach us the ways of their people!

Cristy brought down an extra pair of waders she thought would fit me and we bought some for Shaun. Before we could ever get out to that field of flooded timber, we were making memories just trying on waders. Cristy is an athlete, incredibly coordinated at all times and picks up literally everything naturally, just like my hubby, Shaun. As she instructed me to put on those waders for the first time, it was clear I wasn’t nearly as coordinated and “a natural” as they are. She literally had to tuck me into them. I am, even if not natural, a very fast learner, and picked up walking in them on land, in water, and in mud, which are actually different, very quickly.

We had watched a lot of duck calling videos and done a lot of practicing after learning the differences in duck calls, reeds, and sounds. When Cristy and Cade, who are very experienced callers came down, rather than tell us to just let them do the calling, they listened to us, demonstrated for us, and encouraged us to call alongside them. I’m not an insanely confident person which usually comes as a surprise to everyone so their encouragement to do something I was way uncomfortable with meant the world to me. That was honestly the tone of the whole trip. I’m sure there were times when they looked at each other and probably thought “these yahoos,” but they demonstrated such patience with us even if we drove them nuts with novice mistakes.

Our pack of kids stayed home as the adults headed out for an adventure. We arrived at the deer lease and even standing there unloading shotguns and decoys and shimmying into our waders, we were seeing some birds flying and hearing some too! As we headed out into that flooded timber and got the decoys out and got stationed in our shooting positions, we talked strategy, and they began to call a bit. Up until this point, I had seen duck dogs but never had one and didn’t realize the true benefit of them quite yet. We had a few birds circling and we were trying the calls to entice them back, learning what calls to blow and what sounds to make and when as they circled overhead or flew farther out. We did get a few to come in and since we were stationed in positions a little away from each other they seemed to like where the guys were slightly better than where Cristy and I were.

Shaun and Cade had gotten a few birds and were enjoying themselves as were Cristy and I, both of us admiring our husbands and enjoying the outdoors. Maybe it’s just me, but I think my hubby is insanely attractive and I love watching him do what he loves, it amplifies the attractiveness whether its hunting or building something. I think it’s totally healthy to swoon over your husband while you’re enjoying life and adventures together. I get that’s not part of a normal hunting story, but I never claimed to be normal!

Anyhow, we were hearing some quacking and rasping overhead but they weren’t committed to coming in and Cristy encouraged me to hit them with a “comeback call”, and I did. I was so worried I’d sound like an idiot, but I had a basic idea of what she meant by that, and she stood pretty close to me talking me quietly through it. She and I were keeping our heads down while watching the ducks and she was instructing me and how to call and what to say depending on how they were responding and where they were overhead, just like we had talked about at home. They seemed to be committing and circling to come into where we were, and I was getting excited and nervous as shotgun has not been my strongest discipline. I was hoping I was smart enough and coordinated enough to put all these working parts together! Did I mention that Cristy is a coach? On your first duck hunt, it is INCREDIBLY valuable to have a bonafide coach in your ear! The birds had been talking back and had circled low enough to let us know they were committed to coming in. As they cupped up, we got the go ahead and I raised my shotgun as they came across our opening leading one by about the length of a loaf of bread and squeezed! He went down immediately, and we could see my first duck had been a mallard drake. That green head was unmistakable. There may have been cheering and high fiving!

The process to get those birds to come in was tedious and took patience I don’t usually demonstrate along with knowing when to call and what to say! That was so exciting, and I was feeling my confidence in some brand-new skills build. As a hunter and in life in general, you should never stop learning. This is when we got a brand-new lesson about the value of duck dogs. Shaun and Cade volunteered to go retrieve the birds and as they were slowly and carefully walking through the water out to where my duck had gone down, the water was rising slightly higher on their waders, but they were making good progress. They were being careful not to get tripped up on underwater logs and hazards as they made their way out. We were watching the pair of them sort of wade out when, all of a sudden, one of them disappeared. While the water here was pretty deep for flooded timber and there were signs of beaver activity on nearby trees, the water was really only about waste deep, chest in a couple of areas. As they were walking out, they encountered what was obviously a very slick and well worn trail under the water that was much deeper than the rest of the area. Waders do a great job of keeping water out as long as you don’t wade into water deeper than they come up on your body!

In a lake, topping your waders could be so dangerous, in this situation he was able to gain purchase and his head wasn’t even under water long as he sprung right back up. If he had been sliding down an underwater shelf on a lake or river however, the weight of the water now inside the waders would make it difficult to swim and he would have had to have the presence of mind to quickly unbuckle and hopefully shimmy out of the waders and donate them to the lake. Did I mention the water during duck season could literally be freezing depending on where you are hunting? I don’t think I could shimmy out of mine that easily! Duck dogs don’t have this problem, they just swim right out and grab your bird and swim right back! A duck dog is clearly a valuable partner to have in the field! Lesson learned, wish list started! Also I topped my own waders the next hunt coming back and stumbling in knee deep water! We were getting a dog!

Even though this hunt was years ago, I still consider myself a rookie duck hunter, even once we got dogs. I got better at calling and Shaun of course took to this new style of hunting like a fish to water. We have enjoyed many more hunts together, all of them successful because we got out and enjoyed the outdoors with each other and others, some of them were just more bountiful than others and like all of our hunts, led to life-long friendships and memories! I still have a curly tail feather off that drake and think about this hunt every time I see it!
Feathers and Fences

November 6th, 2023

My first dove hunt was also my kiddos’ first dove hunt and like most of my hunts, Shaun and his dad were the ones to teach us and take us. This story is also not in chronological order because we already had gotten dogs to retrieve and trained them at this point. The getting of the dogs was a result of sliding down a beaver run well over waders on a duck hunt, but that’s a story for another time! Just as an FYI waders do a great job of keeping water out as long as you don’t get water higher on your body than the waders go up.

One of our favorite things to do is share our love of hunting with others and build relationships that usually lead to lifelong friendships, meaningful conversations, and tons of memories. Dad had had a friend of his tell him how much his grandson wanted to go dove hunting and he would be happy for us all to go together on a piece of property he owned. Naturally, we were happy and excited to oblige.

First, we all met together in the field and talked strategy and safety. Dad and Shaun helped us to understand what to expect and how adrenaline and excitement might make us have a tendency to react in an unsafe manner. I talked through gun safety and we demonstrated proper movements and then Dad and Shaun gave us our marching orders!

Tristan and I were stationed away from the pasture the others were walking through and we positioned ourselves where we had seen dove flying in, of course at dad’s suggestion. I remember T’s first dove about as well as I do his first duck although he didn’t get quite as excited. He was shooting my old 20ga pump Mossberg which I think may be called a Maverick and we had our German Wirehaired Pointer, Maverick, with us. We saw the dove headed our direction and T positioned himself to safely shoot, I still remember the huge grin he had on his face when that bird started falling, T’s eyes wide open. We sent Mavie to retrieve it and he rushed over and found it, picked it up, promptly carried it few feet towards us, and spit it out like it tasted bad! Repeated commands to fetch it up were unsuccessful as he would walk over and sit down by the bird and look at us as if to say, “its literally right here, YOU can pick it up.” Mavie was duck crazy, I guess something about the dove feathers he just didn’t like.

We stayed there that evening hearing gunfire across the pasture as the others in our group were getting shots at birds, but the most memorable sound was that of laughter and conversation as they walked through the goat weeds and either jumped birds or flushed birds Ripp found. Ripp, our other GWP, didn’t have a care in the world about what he retrieved. You could tell him to fetch up hairbrushes and bottles and he was just as happy doing that as he was bringing you back a mallard! On the way over to mine and T’s spot he had actually retrieved my first dove and then went with Shaun and the others.

Dove hunting in Texas is hot and since we didn’t want to overheat the dogs, we were giving Mavie a break from finding our birds, while still encouraging him to retrieve them. It was his first dove hunt too, and I took off to retrieve a bird T had shot. We had talked about letting anything that flew in the same direction go while I was out, and that T’s only shot was behind us. About the time I reached the downed bird, I had to search for it. I heard T scream and Mavie yelp. I yelled to him to find out what had happened, and he screamed what sounded like, “I shot Maverick.” Instant horror began building in my gut but there had been no shot, so I was also confused. Running back to him and Mavie I could see T running to me and that they both physically seemed unscathed although Tristan was crying, and Mavie was huddled under his chair. When I finally got him settled enough to repeat himself, I learned that because he was determined to hunt behind him and not put me in danger, he was moving he and Mavie around so they could see behind them.

While petting Mavie, T also touched the electric cross fence on accident! He had screamed, “I SHOCKED Maverick!” I should be a better parent, I should be a better dog owner, my first instinct should not have been to bust out laughing, but I guess I’m neither of those things because, knowing they were both fine, I laughed really loudly and really hard, Tristan didn’t find it all that funny.

A little later T had downed a bird over on the other side of that electric cross fence and shimmied under to retrieve it rather than chancing Mavie again, and besides we could see it and it wasn’t far, which made Mavie and his hate for dove feathers unnecessary in this instance. As T handed me the dove over the fence, excited as he was for his great shot and swift recovery, he began leaning forward and touched that fence AGAIN all while I was trying to gain his attention and stop him! Today this story is hilarious, Tristan is incredibly leery of electric fences, and we tease him mercilessly every time we are around one but even he can look back at his younger self and have a laugh!

This hunt led to years more with Dad’s friend’s grandson and our family, a lifelong friendship between the kids, and more memories than we can count, as well as some really good food! The laughter and tears, the relationships built with the dogs and each other are as priceless as the memories we collectively share.
Memories in the Mountains

October 30th, 2023

While definitely not in chronological order, as I sit in front of this computer, this is exactly the time of year we usually leave along with our family and friends who are family to hunt, fellowship, and explore Colorado. I wrote most of this article when we came home from our very first trip from there in 2013, it was published by the company I pro-staffed and instructed for, and since I’m reminiscing and missing the mountains terribly, I decided to skip the chronological order of things and go with the way my mind wanders.
The Great Colorado Adventure 2013
In 2013 my family and my best friend and I had the opportunity to adventure to Colorado with the goal of harvesting an elk in our sites. This trip turned out to be so much more than just a hunting trip. I was actually apprehensive and nervous about going because we seemed to be so alone, I kept using the term “winging it” since we were doing a “do it yourself” (DIY) hunt on public land. Just over halfway there from Texas my fears were strengthened as our truck broke down in Santa Rosa, New Mexico. My hubby, quick to diagnose the problem and realize he had the replacement part at home in Texas, sprung into action and got us safely into the cutest little RV park while his dad drove the part up to get us back on the road. I’m leaving out that it was a holiday weekend and all of the part stores said they’d have to order the part and it wouldn’t be in until the following Tuesday or Wednesday, this was Thursday!
That next morning after Dad arrived was a rough one as all 3 of our kids woke up throwing up in the middle of the night and now, with Shaun’s dad, the 7 of us weren’t feeling much better. We had headaches and brain fog and later discovered it was acute carbon monoxide poisoning from the propane refrigerator vent! Many medical professionals have told us how close to death we all had been. I’m not typically grateful for my kids vomiting on me, but this night I was!! Had we been able to get on up into the mountains we might have mistaken this for altitude sickness and never returned!
Back to the truck, stranded-ish all the way in Santa Rosa. We were not really actually alone because God says He’ll never leave us or forsake us and as God would have it, the manager of the park was a certified diesel mechanic who looked over Shaun’s shoulder and provided the confirmation Shaun needed during the fix. Only God does stuff like that! So, the next day we were back on the road before lunch! I was soooo nervous!

I don’t really know what my expectations were for how it should look once we finally reached Colorado, but as we got closer, the beauty of New Mexico began to amaze me and I was itching to get out and explore. Just when I thought the views couldn’t get any better, we hit Durango, Colorado. The most beautiful little town with the Animas River winding and snaking all through it. It was about 7:00pm as we started winding up into the mountains just north of Dolores towards our camp. As we came around the bend, mountain on the left side, river on the right, we were facing the largest mountain I’d ever personally seen whose slope was covered in the most beautiful Aspen grove. As the sun shone down piercing in spots through the low-lying clouds that were clinging to the canopy of the Aspen grove my breath caught in my chest and tears moistened my eyes. I’m a military brat so I’ve been A LOT of places and I had never seen landscape so beautiful that it made me want to cry. Reliving it as I’m writing now brings tears to my eyes. Standing at the base of the mountains in that breathtaking scenery caused me to reflect on how big God is and how small I am. The majesty of God staring you right in your face has a way of putting you in your place!

I managed to tear my eyes away from my first look at those mountains and capture Shaun’s forever. So many thoughts.

We reached a flat pasture-like area near the top of the mountain where it was time to get out and set up camp. When I say pasture, you think grass but no, this pasture was carpeted by the thickest most glorious squishy healthy fern! A sticker-less fern pasture as large as a football field! To my 3 children’s delight, if you took a shovel to it, every scoop of earth yielded the fattest healthiest fishing worms….or “I dare you to eat that, worms”! I digress! We set up camp and cooked dinner that night and began to get butterflies about seeing elk and exploring the splendor of this new country we were calling home for a week.

The next morning, we awoke and dressed in our hunting gear, packs and bows, and safety orange, kissed the kids goodbye and wished my bestie Shelly good luck with them and set out! My hubby and I were in such awe as we began hiking, I’m not sure if we even looked for elk for the first little bit of the hike. I seemed to be too busy catching flies with my mouth gaping open at all the newness and glory like I’d never seen before! Part of that was a little breathlessness too but not too bad. We started training as best we could back in April for this adventure, we knew we were going to embark on in Aug/ Sept so 23lbs lighter and in the best shape of my life, I knew I could handle quite a bit. We didn’t see anything but a couple of coyotes and some turkey vultures that day but the next day, OH the next day!
Noticing that the part of the mountain we were hunting had trails that were open to motorized vehicles we opted to go down our little mountain and over to the next one which had a trail winding up it that was not open for motorized transportation, and we were walking so no worries there! We figured less traffic and noise might mean more animals, we figured correctly! Nearly to the top of this 5mile consistent incline trek I saw my very first grouse! Guess who happened to have a small game license and knew that grouse season had just opened! ME! After I’d harvested it, my hubby just stood in amazement at my confidence. He was shocked that I had taken the shot but incredibly glad for it! Onward and upward though! As we reached the top and broke over the ridge, we descended into a large valley between the peaks of 3 mountains with a decent sized lake on one end teaming with ducks! My breath caught again…for both of the before mentioned reasons! We hiked across and over onto the next mountain and stopped for breakfast just the two of us, him propped up against a tree eating a pop tart and me with my head laid on his leg in an Aspen grove at nearly 9000 ft elevation with the morning sun filtering through the leaves and painting yellow rays all the way to the ground.
We set out again after our little breakfast break and it was then, just 100 yards later that we beheld the most amazing site and one we had come so far to see. As we hiked partly up the ridge and around, just below us were 5 elk. A cow and calf, a single cow and 2 small bulls grazing among the aspens. With our eyes as big as saucers and breath we didn’t know we were holding, we crept closer and closer. I snaked the range finder off my neck and slowly passed it to Shaun as I stared on in amazement at the biggest game animals I’d ever seen in the wild. The closest elk, a smaller bull, stood at 62.5 yards quartered away in the “v” of two aspens with gnarly bushes in between. As my husband began to draw back his bow I softly whispered, “do you want to try to get a little closer and get a cleaner shot?” He let it down concerned because it really was a trashy shot. As we began to creep closer, we took exactly 4 steps, one of mine landing on a small twig that snapped, and out of NO WHERE a doe mule deer jumped up just to the left of us and ran into the group of elk screaming in her language “RUN RUN THERE’S HUNTERS UP HERE!!!” and off they went! As we followed them over the ridge, we ran into another hunting party who were all on mules and in pursuit of the elk they had just seen run over the ridge.. On foot there was no way we could compete with them so we decided to hike over to the other peak and see if we could pick up another group of elk.
As we hiked around the rest of the day stopping for breaks and snacks and sometimes just to gawk and the sheer splendor of the country we were exploring, our souls just hummed with praise for God and His ability to create. It was getting late by this time, and we headed back for the valley and over to the adjacent mountain with the trail to lead us down. I literally collapsed in camp when we finally returned so grateful to smell that my bestie was fixing dumplings! It had been a 15-mile day through some rough terrain and most of it had been at a huge incline with a 30lb pack. It was more than I’d ever pushed myself before and I was tired but feeling a HUGE sense of accomplishment. Just seeing elk on a DIY was a success in mine and Shaun’s eyes!
The next morning, we rested and spent time with the kiddos and that evening we decided to go back up and give it one more shot. We packed up sleeping bags and food and a little two-man tent and decided to camp the night out there just the two of us at 8900 feet in bear country. How exhilarating! No marriage retreat on the face of this earth could facilitate the kind of bonding experience we had on the hunt. We didn’t see any more elk but saw at least 40 mule deer which we had no tags for and were also not speaking to due to the previous ruined elk harvest because of one of their kind!
Waking up that high in the sky that morning, the pink of the horizon as the sun began to wake and rise over the peaks to begin burning off the clouds that had nestled themselves among the tops of the aspens, we knew this was not just going to be a one-time trip. This was a hunt, an adventure that had caused us to leave a piece of ourselves there and embrace a new one that would summon us back year after year. I actually did leave a piece of my leg on a barbed wire fence up there but that’s not what I’m talking about!
In later years we were invited to join a group of friends to go a little farther in during rifle season and we’ve bought horses and mules and a new to us living quarter horse trailer. We long for the fellowship, food, fun, fins, fur, and overall laughter and adventure as we return together year after year. We don’t always fill our tags but we do always fill our hearts and restore our souls! If you’ve never experienced this before and you are given the opportunity, you should seriously, hit the door running! This adventure changed our whole family’s lives. We learned so much about ourselves and what we were capable of. We learned just how much we enjoy the outdoors and how we have instilled that in our kids so much so that they were totally in agreement of turning off the satellite and redirecting the money we were spending on television to a hunting trip fund so we can continue to experience the splendor of God’s country. For us it’s not just about the harvest, it’s about the adventure!

Seems like a lifetime ago as the youngest here is now 16 and the oldest 21!