Who in their right mind would want to admit that they are like Saul? Like “OG” original Old Testament (1 Samuel) Saul that the Israelite’s begged for so they could be like all the other pagan peoples around them, and God allowed Samuel to anoint as an Earthly King, the one who tried to murder David.

Obviously, I’ve never tried to murder anyone but there are a several instances I was sitting here thinking about after having gone through chapters 12-15 of 1 Samuel where the motives for my actions were similar to Saul’s motives. Saul made a rash, rushed decision to sacrifice to God instead of waiting on Samuel to do it like he was supposed to. Why? He was more concerned with what the people thought than what God thought and the proper way and timing. If I’m honest, I have often been overly concerned with what others have thought about me, I’ve made impulsive decisions that didn’t hurt anyone, but had they simmered a bit and been done in God’s timing rather than mine, would have been more about Him. I have kept my mouth shut when I know I should have opened it and stood up for God and truth. Rather, I felt like I didn’t want to make waves or bring attention to myself or the situation.

My daughter, while watching a movie the other night, said to the character on tv, “no response, is a response, girl”. Sometimes not speaking is definitely the right thing to do, especially when you are responding in anger and what you will say will be harmful and not said out of love, but sometimes not speaking is condoning or supporting whatever is going on when you know you shouldn’t. I’m not talking about engaging in a typing, texting, or verbal sparring match on social media or elsewhere that causes you to just look argumentative and unloving. Those are two things God’s word instructs against, Philippians 2:14 “Do all things without arguing and complaining,” Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, be at peace with all people.”

Jesus, when asked in Matthew 22: 37-39 about the greatest commands, said to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart soul mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.”

Sometimes we do need to speak up, but it has to come from a place of love. We cannot be so concerned with what others will think about us that we jeopardize our integrity and behave in a way that is not pleasing to the Lord, that we represent God poorly by being ambassadors of ourselves or society’s will rather than Christ’s. Saul was more concerned about pleasing people than pleasing the Lord, if we are honest with ourselves, we have all had moments of that too. In the words of Soloman, “there’s nothing new under the sun,” it’s not a new trend,the Bible is replete with verses that warn against it. Here a just a few,

The amount of time I have spent in the past on social media, looking at others posts, creating my own, and then swinging back around to see how well received it was, was a clear indicator of me being just as guilty, even when I was posting biblical posts!!!!!! I mean Saul was sacrificing to the Lord, wasn’t he? But it was to appease the people, his heart wasn’t right. God prefers our obedience rather than our sacrifice, (1Sam 15:22 and Hosea 6:6). We all have a desire to be well received and approved of.

What about the silent treatment when you know there will be a confrontation? Ever given silent treatment to a brother or sister, friend, spouse, church member? God was/is super talkative, the first chapter of Genesis repeats itself numerous times, “and God said, and God said, and God said”. God doesn’t give the silent treatment, hence the reason we have the Bible and His Son, the Word made flesh who dwelt among us (John 1:14). Not talking is not an option. It matters what you say, and how you say it, but you do need to talk through it lovingly and come to a peaceable solution. Honestly, the silent treatment is so much easier, but in my desire to be obedient I know I need to ask God to help me work it out.

Sometimes we need to pause and pray and think it through. One of my fellow sisters in Christ teaches to ask a series of questions before you just blab out the first thing that comes to your mind, ESPECIALLY when you’re in your “feels”.

“Does it need to be said at all?

Does it need to be said by me?

Does it need to be said right now?”

I use these to help me filter my thoughts and not respond in a way that is displeasing to the Lord and harmful to someone else. I don’t always succeed, unfortunately, and need to apologize but I do have a promise from God’s word that I’m a work in progress and He’s not finished with me yet, it’s found in Philippians 1:6, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work among you will complete it by the day of Christ Jesus.” Slap a construction sign on my forehead until Jesus comes back! Thank you, Lord, because I definitely need His help to get me through literally everything! Know that when you’re in Christ, God is working on you too, practice caring about what God cares about, your relationship with Him and continually being conformed to the image of His Son. Let’s Untether ourselves from the need for external validation and seek approval from God alone!